My step Dad went in the hospital before we left on our trip, I went up and tried to see him but couldn’t get in because the floor was closed for hours. I had to leave before they opened back up. But he was doing good and they were talking about sending him to rehab in the next day or two. So I wasn’t the phone worried about leaving. I kept in touch with my sister every day as well.

well he didn’t get out but was moved from ICU. I think they were waiting to make sure his meds were under control before moving him, I’m not 100% sure.

JW went back to work work Wednesday morning at 5. I was still on vacation until Monday. I didn’t get up to see him until Thursday. I seen him he didn’t look good he lost a lot of weight. But they were saying he was still doing good and going to rehab soon. I went up the next few days and seen him. Friday me and my sister went together to see him. Our other sister left for a cruise of all things. My sister said she told her that morning he couldn’t go to rehab and was going to go home and they were stopping treatment for the cancer. She still went on her cruse.

me and my younger sister got there and in a little bit they came to do something with him. We step to the side. This doctor come in the book walks up to his bed and starts telling him he needs a dnr and his daughter said he had to sign it she couldn’t make that call. She told him how the cancer was worse grown and spread. They couldn’t keep doing treatment and he needed to go on hospice care.

when she came in and started all this we walked over to his bed she said something about giving them some privacy. I said this is his daughter and we need to know what is going on. She let us stay. When she was done we walked over to the door with her and she started telling us what all was going on. She was saying she thought there was very poor communication between the doctor and family about everything that was going on. She was saying she didn’t think the family was understanding how bad it was and everything.

She said he is very malnourished and the cancer is to bad we can’t treat anymore. My sister said you’re giving up on him? The doctor said no not at all we are doing the human thing to do and making him comfortable and giving him quality over quantity. She said you all do not understand this this is the end.

I knew what she was saying before she came out and said that. I said so you are saying the end are you talking day’s,weeks or months? We need to know what is going on so we can know what to do for him.

She said weeks maybe a month. She started talking to me telling me more once she seen I understood what was going on. She kept saying please explain to them make them see this isn’t good what I am trying to say?

I told her yes an that our other sister was the one who had been handling it all and we didn’t always get the best info from her. I asked her if you can’t do anything for him why is he still here? Why can’t he go to a hospice house if he needed 24hr care so he could be more comfortable?

She said to me sister said she was going on a cruise would I keep him until she got back Monday. She said what was I going to say of course I will I want him taken care of. She was about in tears herself. She told us her dad died of the same thing and how her sister kept dragging him to treatments and things how bad it was.

She talked to us for a bit and left. He was so tired we told him w would come back later. When we left I told my sister I didn’t think our brother in Ohio knew or he would be here. She said she thought they told him that morning. I just didn’t think he knew so I told her to call him I was driving.

she called him and put him on speaker we asked him what he knew what update he had gotten? He was talking about him going to rehab and things.

I stopped him told him I had to tell him something. That we just talked to the doctor and he needed to know what she had said.

I told him he was not going to rehab. They were talking about hospice house. He was telling me I was wrong. I said they are stopping treatment and want a dnr in place. He said wait it is already done our sister already did it. I said no the doctor came in told him she said she couldn’t and he needed to decide and he wasn’t understanding. We told him how it spread and got bigger. He was saying it already had spread and the one spot got bigger. He was saying no it’s smaller it was already in these other places the doctor was knew didn’t know what she was talking about. I said look she told sister all this before she left I don’t know what she is telling you but this is what the doctor said the scan she just did today shows.

He said forget it I will be there tomorrow to get this all straightened out and I am calling his normal doctor. I said okay I am sorry to call with such news but I felt you needed to know before sister decided to tell you when it was convenient for her. He said thank you and he would see us the next day sometime his girlfriend was looking for flights at the moment.

{June 3, 2023}   Re: Oklahoma Bound

It’s been a long few weeks. The 16 me JW and the baby left on our trip to see JW’s dad. We didn’t pull out until about 10 pm. I wanted to leave at 6 but thing’s happened and we were delayed. We had both gotten up and was at work by 5 that morning, but he got off at 1. He was supposed to nap a while but didn’t.

I got home we picked up the rental car and last minute things for the kids. We got everything packed because he hadn’t bothered to pack at all. I had my stuff ready laid to the side. Once we got that all done we left.

I drove out and ended up driving just over the first 400 miles of the trip. We were in Georgia then. I stopped at a waffle house to get coffee feed the baby and stretch my legs a little bit. Then we got him dressed and ready for bed and got back on the road. He went right back to sleep. JW took over driving as well. We didn’t make it but a few hounded miles up the road and he was falling a sleep too. He didn’t sleep the whole time I was driving so he was no help. I got a little sleep and took back over. I honestly can’t even think of where or how many times after that we stopped. Few rest areas and a truck stop and a park. We slept for an hour or so here and there to hold us over until we got there.

We didn’t do horrible it took us just over 24 hours to get there. It said it was an 20 hour trip. But having to stop for gas, food and for the baby we made good time.

We got there just about 11pm that night. His step mom and sister had his dad out driving him around and making excuses why they couldn’t go home yet. We were going to his sisters house his dad was ready to be home in bed and never out that late. So they couldn’t just go to her house he would of wanted to drop her off and go home.

We got there and told them and they came pulling up. We didn’t know what they were doing until they got there and we got inside.

They pulled into the alley by the house and we parked behind them. Jw got out went up to the door and opened it said something to him. He said well hey I know who you are I seen you before but I don’t remember your name I’m sorry you have to tell me again. Jw said his name and something he said your son he said what not my son. he was telling him yes about that time they turned on more better light from somewhere he could see him better. He was so thrilled. They hadn’t seen each other in 13 or 15 years. He started about what he was doing all the way up there why I let him come up there. He had to go see the baby.

The baby was scared of him but he is of all new people. He let him get close but not to close just watch him. We all went inside and talked a while then they left. We were staying at his sister’s. We talked with her and her friend and boyfriend for a while and finally got to go to bed.

That was fun, I told him forever before we went to see where we were staying and trying to make sure I could find a decent hotel. He insisted it would be fine we would stay at one of their houses. I was worried if it was going to be clean and things for the baby he didn’t find anything out.

So we go get shower’s and lay down. We are putting 3 of us on this little air mattress. I was so cold all night and did everything to keep from falling off.

Finally morning came I was still exhausted from pretty much being up for going on 3 days. I hear his sister and her boyfriend on the other side of the door fighting over something. They weren’t loud you could tell they were mad but didn’t want us to hear.

I rolled over was trying to fall a sleep for even a few more minutes. Whatever until he got up we had to get up. As I closed my eyes I seen something move on the bed. I thought I was seeing a shadow and started to not look but something made me open my eyes and look.

When I did it was a bedbug. I woke him up and showed him. He seemed at first he was just going to go back to sleep. I googled it showed him I knew what I was talking about. I made him get up. We started packing everything and getting ready to go.

His sister didn’t seem surprised at all when he said something. I told him yeah because she already knew and wasn’t going to say anything. That made me mad. We packed everything up in trash bags and left. She said she had them paid someone to get rid of them but she guess it didn’t work that the room we were in had them the worst. Like really what the fuck. They had already been fighting at like 7 or 8 in the morning and the kids had gotten up they are wild and she is fighting with them. I already between that no where to really sleep and the kids I was going to find a room somewhere. More money I didn’t have but we had to sleep. I had been up since 4 am Thursday and it was now Saturday morning. I had had maybe 2 hours sleep in the car on the way and a few little 5 or 10 minutes power naps. I spent the night freezing and trying not to fall off the air mattress. I couldn’t do that for days and the make a 24 hour drive home.

We went from there to his dad’s house before we went to the motel. We get there to his big house he tells him about and JW is saying maybe we could stay there. No one had invited us to so I knew most it was going to be a no go. It was packed full of junk everywhere they didn’t even have a place to sit in the living room really. It is someone else’s house they are renting a room.

They have a petting zoo there on the property they feed the animals on the weekend. It was raining off and on and a sloppy mess. Here we sit outside. Slopping around feeding the animals.

From there they show us where the best motel in town is. I rent the room from Saturday to Tuesday even though we are leaving Monday at dinner time. I wanted to go sleep for a bit before we left Monday evening.

So here we sat on another trip where the only way to see anyone was to be out and about running around. Or sitting in the motel room. So again we didn’t do much we went to the store got stuff we needed to take care of our stuff and try not to get bedbugs and went out to eat. Then we went to the mall for awhile. I didn’t really want to go there but they did.

The motel was horrible it looked like they had water damage all over. We had a none smoking room, there was burn holes everywhere including in the comforter on the bed. The shower had been painted inside it was peeling. We had the oak and play we asked for an extra sheet for it and they refused to give us one. They said they didn’t give out extra blankets or sheets. Three of us checked in they gave us two towels. I asked for an extra one for the baby. They told us no they only give two per room and if we wanted more we had to bring those two back they would give us two more. I was not happy. But we already paid we just stuck it out. But we will not be going back there again. I never leave reviews but I did leave them a review for sure. That is crazy two towels for 3 people and we can’t use an extra sheet.i have never been anywhere like that.

It’s safe to say we won’t be making that trip again anyway. It’s a long drive and I am not making a trip like that again where there is no where to go and spend time together.

When we have family come in they have always stayed at my grandparents house or my house or depending how many split them up between the two. When I went to see my grandpa we always stayed at his house. Even when we went to RCs sister house we had to sleep on the pull out couch but we had a place to stay. We could of stayed at a motel at either but they had a place we could all go and spend time together entertain and not have to sit in the motel or run around to be able to see them. Guess we just come from very different backgrounds or raised differently. Even when we went to see the kids they have roommates but still they couldn’t have company over to visit for a few hours or to do a cookout or dinner one evening. I don’t mind getting a motel and would prefer it to go back to and have down time. But it’s nice to be able to go see people do things without having to always be on the run. You don’t get to spend any quality time with people that way. Even if I went to see my friend that moves to NC she would let us stay with her. I would get a room but we would go spent time with them do meals just hang out and relax and catch up. But there is just none of that when we went these two trips.

At least he got to meet his grampa and he got to see his dad. He hasn’t seen his dad in like 13 years. It maybe the last time he gets to see him.

We left Monday around dinner and got home around 11 pm Tuesday. It wasn’t a horrible drive there or back just a long one. It seemed as if we were never going to get out of Oklahoma or Arkansas coming or going.

{May 7, 2023}   Oklahoma Bound

We were supposed to take a family vacation up to see his dad and sisters but now it is going to be just me and him with the baby. I feel bad in a way but would rather it be this way. His dad is sick he has been in the hospital more this year than out. I forget why he was in there to start with. Then he went bac because he swallowed food wrong it got stuck. Then he ended up back in there because he got an infection in his throat from them getting the food out and whatever else they did. They were talking about sending him to a nursing home or rehab once he could go home. But hadn’t decided. He decided last week he was just tired of being there, so he checked himself out and went home. Now he is signed out against medical advice. I don’t know if he will go back if he gets bad or just not say anything until something happens. I think he is giving up and over doing this. He spent a ton of time in the hospital off and on last year as well. We are not prepared to take everyone on vacation and at this point I am thinking it wouldn’t be much of a vacation with him being sick and in and out of the hospital or if he ends up in a nursing home.

I know he is going to want to spend as much time as he can with him why we are there and we can’t drag everyone to the hospital or wherever they have him if he isn’t home. The kids aren’t going to want to spend the time in a motel or hospital either. If we take time to go do other things we will feel guilty. So I told him we can just go the three of us. Then In a month or two we will take a trip when we are more prepared and go to Tennessee for a week where we can do things. I want to check things out see about moving up there what everyone thinks about it there. I want to be able to explore. We will be an hour away from his daughter and about 2 hours of his other two kids if they want to come over and spend the day or a few days if they can get a room or place to stay.

I am not thrilled about this drive to and from his dad but I don’t want to fly. He is pushing to fly or for him to just take the baby and fly. But I don’t want the baby to be away that far for that long with a bunch of people I don’t know. He wants us all to fly the three of us but I don’t want to fly. I don’t want to be locked in that long or with a bunch of people like that. I would have to be knocked out and put on the plane and stay that way the whole time and taken off the plane. I told him did he really want to put up with me and the baby on a plane? He just looked at me.

I am still trying to figure out what we are going to drive because I don’t trust the van to make it. I was going to take oldest car but it needs some things done to it and we are down to the wire I don’t know what we are going to do. I am going to try and look at some of these car rental places and see if I can find a car cheap but I don’t know. I am thinking just take the van but I don’t know that it would make it that far with all the straight through driving we would be doing.

I am not even sure where we are going to be staying. I was already warrened by his mom to make arrangements at a motel or something. I am just not ready for all this. I just got our taxes filed Friday. They took mine but has an issue with his he has to fix tomorrow. I don’t think I will have mine back by Thursday when we are ready to go. I will have our checks to go on but I don’t think that is going to get us a car to go and a room. I mean it would but then I need to pay some other things that I can’t put off. I guess we will see how it all goes.

{April 12, 2023}   Still Here Haven’t Forgotten

I know it has been a month since I last posted it has been crazy. I haven’t had the time at work to write my post up, much less get ahead. The depression is trying to creep in as well. I have been fighting that. When you do your job well and they give you someone else’s.

They asked me to go out to the repair shop and find them a new shop program and help get them caught up and organized. I went out about 11 with the owner and he let them know why I was there and at lunch the girl out there went to lunch and never came back. She sent an email saying she was quitting and all this other crazy stuff. It was expected when the owner came into the meeting and said he wanted me to go back there. I just didn’t think it would be so quick. So along with doing what I was supposed to do to start with I ended up taking on a whole ton of other crap. I don’t know how long this is going to last.

I am going to try to get on more soon. I still need to find a desk so I can get my computer set up. That will make things a little easier.

I hope everyone had a good Easter and hope to be around more again really soon.

I think I am finally done updating on the last year or two, everything else will fall into place among other post. I updated the main things or big things for the most part, things that will come up in other post. You won’t be lost going wait when did that happen or where did that come from. I am glad to be with the updates, I am surprised how hard it was to remember what happened and when and details. But I know that is from the stress and trauma over the last few years. It is a lot easier to write about now than now and what happened.

I am so aggravated with myself, I had posted everyday since I started back, I was 19 day in posting at least one time a day. A log of times two or three. Now it has been 3 days I think since I posted. I thought I had things together and posting, I guess I was confused and they posted the day before. I had been doing good about getting at least my one post written up in advance and then doing the second one later if I had free time and felt like writing. I would take that time to get the next post ready before I wrote another for the day. But then got thrown off and it has been hard trying to get back into the swing of it. I am starting new today.

Me and JW have been spending more time together the last few days as well and that has been nice. My friend I had not seen in years was down visiting she leaves in a bit to go home so I made dinner and had her over and caught up with her for the last 3 or 4 hours. Now I am sitting here watching a movie with the kids waiting to pick JW up at 9 so we can go to bed to start this crazy week tomorrow. I figure I will post tonight to start the week off and start working on other post when I have my free time tomorrow at work. It is harder doing it there because it is on my phone but it seem to be when I have the time to really work on it. Thought about getting a tablet and try using that. I don’t think anyone would say anything or really notice honestly. But if I took my laptop and tried to work on that something would be said. If not said everyone would want to know what I was doing and all about it. I don’t care of them to know everything.

I have caught up on sleep as well, the last few days. Yesterday I slept in until after 11:30 in the morning. JW did too. I woke up earlier but felt bad for him and let him sleep. The baby was not wanting to sleep Friday night, I guess I fell a sleep on the couch sitting out there with them watching tv and things. He woke me up and told me to go to bed. I woke up at one point and heard him coming in the back door from outside. I thought I felt him get in bed but I fell right back to sleep. I woke up later and rolled over to put my arm around him and he wasn’t there. I looked at my phone and it was 4am, I knew he must be on the couch with the baby. I went and sure enough he was between the two and the baby was beside him sleeping. I woke him up and told him to put him in bed and come to bed. I knew he had been up late with the baby for him to have been sleeping out there with him and was really uncomfortable out there like that so I let him sleep in.

Once we got up we got some stuff accomplished. We took the kids down to the village and walked around the arts and craft fair. After that they wanted to stop at the library to check on setting up a DnD game there on the weekends. I had to go to the phone store so I dropped them off and told them I would be back by the time they closed if not sooner. It was only about and hour and half before they closed so not a long time. We went to the phone store and stopped by JW’s old job and talked to them for a bit because it is right next to the phone store. After that we picked them up came home and relaxed for a bit and went food shopping and came home and had dinner and just relaxed the rest of the night.

Today we slept in a little but not as late, then we ran to Sam’s to pick up the things we needed there and got gas. I dropped him off at work on the way home. Then came home put chicken in the crockpot for dinner for us and my friend and hung out with her ad the kids the rest of the afternoon/ evening.

We have been to most of our therapy appointments that are together, I honestly don’t know if it is doing any good or not. I try to talk to him about it after and he has nothing to say really. If he does it seems he missed the whole point and is in left field somewhere. But the conversation is never more than he answers one or two questions and it’s done. No real conversation.

When we went in she of course took him back and talked to him first and then brought me in. I have been seeing her so she didn’t really need to talk to me alone. She already knew where I was and I was having issues with.

She did ask us about it when we were together. He didn’t say anything so I did. I said how I ask and ask for thing’s to be done it literally takes months to a year. How I try to talk to him when there is something wrong or have a conversation about things to do with the house, moving or anything really I get nothing. Just yeah ok or what. How when things are wrong like when the car broke and we needed a new one and needed money. All I got was I don’t know, I have no money where am I supposed to get it from. How I was told he could just take a bus and like oh well with us. I said he talks about how his ex’s were and things use to be but then I try to include him or try to tell him what is wrong and get ignored. I said I feel like I am being punished for what everyone else done it isn’t right.

I said I am at a point of I care I love him and want us together but not at the experience of my happiness. How long am I supposed to put up with basically being ignored and in reality how I feel, what I want or think or need isn’t cared about?

She looked at him ask him how he felt about all that. What I was saying? He said he needed to work on things. She asked him how he felt about the relationship and basically what he felt was issues or he would like to see Change? He said nothing really it isn’t her it’s all me. I have asked him the same thing many times he says same he is fine with the way things are. But then to me that is a problem because he See’s no need to change. I don’t know.

She has talked about him needing to talk to someone himself and work on something. He doesn’t say much. Just it would probably be a good idea but hasn’t ask how or anything. I feel we need some more time together as well. We just need to work out money to do it.

We have a session today and then one more in a few weeks because she will be out the next two. I am going to bring up a lot today and get the ball rolling on getting us in for more time and or getting him in for some time by his self if he will. But I don’t know if he is going to or not. If he doesn’t I don’t know what that will mean for us. Because there still no communication between us. I think we do need more together. Even if I have to find somewhere different that is cheaper or works better for us.

So here we were in the middle of January almost the end and JW had done nothing about the divorce. I brought it up a few days before his vasectomy going to do it going to do it he says. I asked him if he was sure if he still wanted to do it the way things were? He said yes. Few days later he did it.

4 or 5 days later I asked him about it again. He said he was going to get to it. I asked him when because it was already the end of the month only a week or so left. He said something about what did that have to do with anything? I said because that was the agreement we made over a month ago. He had more than enough time to have started it. He hadn’t even tried to find out what paperwork he needed. Much less sent them to her and got them back so he could file it.

He had talked to her and she had no problem singing it and doing it. She said if he paid for it she would drop the child support as well.

He just said he would get on it and take care of it. I said what about the fact that it isn’t going to be filed before the end of the month? He started about why that matter and it was getting done it wasn’t a big deal.

I told him yes it was an extremely big deal it was more than just the divorce. The big deal was he doesn’t do anything when he is supposed to. It takes day, months or a year. He said things were going to change it wasn’t going to be that way anymore. He was going to prove it he would have this taken care of by then. Here we are time up and he still hadn’t done anything. So it hasn’t changed he just said what he felt I wanted to hear to end the fight.

I said something about just being done with all this. What’s that mean? You want to break up? I said I think so because nothing has changed and nothing is going to. That’s how you feeling and what you want and right after I did this, (the vasectomy), he says? I said don’t go there I asked you the other day right before you did this if you were sure you wanted to with things the way they are. You said yes and went and done it.

I finally just said will you go to therapy with me? He said I told you I would. I said no you told me yeah maybe you would think about it. Then never said anything else again after that. He said I will go.

I said ok because we are going to go and work on this and things are going to change. if not or they don’t once we do then we are not going to be together. Okay I understand and want to be with you I love you I really did this for you and want us to be together. I said okay then I will find out what I need to do.

That was like Wednesday or Thursday. Friday I came home from my appointment and said be ready at 3:30 next week I will pick you up on my way she is going to see us both for a bit. He looked surprised but said okay. I was waiting on him to say something about how fast it was or what. I was just going to say yes it was because when I say I am going to do something or take care of something I do. Not wait days, weeks, months or a year later. But he didn’t.

This week will be 5 out of 6 session. That is another post.

The divorce papers finally got emailed off last night. Now we just have to wait for her to print them, signed and notarized. Then they have to be snail mailed back because he has to file the original copies.

I have told you all how sick I was and how much work I missed between that and having the baby. Then other things that came up over the year as I was trying to get back on track.

So most the bills other than rent have been running a month behind. I have been paying what was needed to keep it on each month. Me and JW sat down and went over all the bills and credit cards. I showed him what was owed on everything and we figured out what we could pay on everything Wednesday when we get our checks.

We had figured out we could pay on everything and get some things paid to a zero balance. The other stuff we would pay on it and then pay the rest off next Wednesday. The credit cards wouldn’t be paid off of course but once we paid the monthly bills down the zero we would have more to pay on them and get them down lower. Paid off soon.

Yesterday he gets off work and goes home, in a bit he is messaging me the water is off. My note said the 13 and we had just plan to pay it the 1st. It was off. They won’t let someone else pay on your bill even if they are using your card. He called to make a payment before to help out and they three way a call to me. Another time way back a friend went to pay it for me and the kids as a gift. That was before I got my two good jobs and was really struggling right after father of the year disappeared and stop paying. I didn’t even know they were going. But they refused to let them pay it for me because he wasn’t on the account. When my dad was so sick and was on hospice care father of the year went to pay it. They looked his name up and seen he had a water bill he didn’t pay and added it to my bill. I fought and fought it because we were not together we lived in different houses and I was not on the account for the house. They said it didn’t matter we were still legally married so I was responsible too. Because any debt enquired while married is debt of the marriage and both are responsible. The only thing I could do is make it part of my divorce and have them make him pay me back. No where else does that kind of thing when it comes to bills. If you didn’t sign being responsible for it they can’t come back on you. But if you file for divorce then the parties can fight it out in court and try to make the other responsible for it even if they didn’t but that is the court not just Jo blow company decided that is what they are going to do.

But anyway I tell my daughter to please call give them the info and have them turn it back on. Over the phone a female calls she just acts as if she is me and they do it. Well they wouldn’t let her. They said I had to come in bring my lease and id in. I couldn’t get off work for a bit as soon as I could I left. Stopped at the house and picked him up and went over there.

I get to the counter and they tell me I need to pay over $800. My bill wasn’t even close to $800. I was prepared to pay half of my normal bill. I was flooded where did all these other charges come from? She starts telling me that back in January they turned my water off. Then she tells me I did not come in and pay it. I just turned it back on and started using it!!!! So when they figured it out they came out turned it off, took my meter out and locked it up. That is where all these other fees came from.

I have no idea what they are talking about. I was mortified she is saying this and the place is full of people. I have never in my life done such a thing and wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to deal with all the trouble I could get into for that matter.

If I truly did not have the money to pay it I would do without before I did that. I could of asked oldest to borrow enough to pay it. Or my sister. If it came down to it I would take the walk of shame and go ask for an advancement on my check or even a loan so I could take care of it. Not go turn it back on and use it.

I don’t even know when they are talking about it went off. Because I went in and made a cash payment that month. And of course now they say they never got it. I never make cash payment I always pay over the phone but I had cash I did not want to put in the bank and was right by the water place. I just stopped and paid it. But it wasn’t off. But of course they are the only water company for most of the county if not the whole county and I have to use them and they know it. They do what they want. I about died the other day when I called their little recording that plays when you call says thank you for calling the water department. Where customer service IS NOW a priority for us. Basically flat out saying we don’t care but now we will try to act like we do.

Why I am hear asking them what they are talking about and where my payment for January went I heard another guy down the way demanding to know why they came out and locked his meter up. Saying he didn’t know what they were talking about he wasn’t late on his bill or anything like that. I wanted to talk to him but he got away before I could. I was trying to hurry up and get their stuff done and get them paid so they would turn it on that day. It was so close to closing time they almost didn’t. I made arrangement’s to pay what I had to yesterday and then pay almost $500 of it next week to get them to turn it back on. I am going to continue to fight it and try to get it done away with because I did not do something like that. But until I can get it taken care of I have to pay it because I can’t be here with no water for the kids. If it was just me and JW I probably would of just left it off and fought it. I am going to go on line and ask if anyone else has had this problems or others with the water company and get a group together and see if we can get something done. I may call the utility commissioner if they don’t listen and do something about it.

But now that is hundreds of dollars I did not plan to put out and it is money that is to pay everything else including my rent. I don’t know what to do at this point. I do not get vacation again until the 18 of March. Normally they will not let us cash it in. If they do a week only. We had plan to take a vacation over the summer or sooner and go see his dad. Now we will have to save enough money for the trip and then enough for the pay that I will be missing that week because it will be unpaid time off. We can cash it in then take time off later unpaid still if we want to. Then my 2nd week I wanted to save for Christmas time. I was going to take off 12/26 since it is a Tuesday through 1/3 to spend time with the kids. I will have Saturday Sunday and Monday off for Christmas so I will start my vacation the day we are supposed to go back. Then have the same off the following week for New years. But I don’t want to go back on the 2nd so I will go back the 3rd. I want to get tickets to the theme park for the kids maybe we will drive over a few days and go why I am off. But now we have to save to have pay for that week I will be missing as well as Christmas and the bills. I am going to do that walk of shame and go talk to my boss and explain I had something come up and that I really need my time now and to cash in both weeks so I can get everything on track once and for all. I hope he can talk the owner into it or just do it and no one say anything. But I think the owner has to approve it so he will most likely have to talk him into it. But he is big on us taking our time off and getting a break from work.

I just can not believe they are saying I did such a thing. I wish I had a camera so that I can show no one ever messed with the meter. That I hadn’t had the kids clean the car out a while back, because they threw the paper where I paid it away. It wasn’t their fault. I told them I had everything I didn’t need it. It had been almost a month I didn’t think I did. I am now going to start saving every paper I get from them if I pay in cash.

I guess around July/September of last year JW decided he would go get a vesectomy. So after we came back from our trip in September he made an appointment. They seen him in October for a check up then told him they would call him with a date.

They finally called in November and set him up for January 20th. So we played the waiting game.

Why he was waiting he was supposed to get information from his mom. Because when he was about 3 or 4 something was wrong with one of his testicles and they had to remove it. Luckily all the test came back fine but I guess there was no way of knowing without taking it. Not sure of the reasoning behind it all.

But when he went for his check up they told him they were not sure if they took the testicle and the tube out or just the testicle. They couldn’t find the tube if they left it. They told him if they were not able to see it when they went in there or find it there was a chance the vasectomy wouldn’t work because that tube wouldn’t get done. For some reason I guess it could get down under other things they may not see it think it was gone.

Again I am not sure I wasn’t there and you know how guys are with relaying information. I kept asking him if he had asked his mom about it he kept saying now.

When she was hear I asked him when we were all in the van going somewhere if he had talked to her about it. He said no. She was asking what he said nothing.

She went home and he still hadn’t asked her. I said something one more time about it and left it alone. The night before he was to go I messaged her and asked her if he had asked her anything about his operation from when he was a kid?

She said no, why? Is something wrong? Is he okay? I told her he was fine thing wrong. But that he was going to get this done the next day and what they were saying. That he has had since October to ask her. She said she wasn’t sure it had been so long ago she didn’t remember them saying. But that they did say they didn’t know if he would have kids or not. By that I figured they had probably taken everything out.

We talked a little more she was happy he was going to do it. She said she been trying to get him to do it for 20 years. She said of he knew we were talking about this he would have a fit. I said I know but he needs to know won’t ask. She told me to let her know when he was done and that everything went ok. I said I would.

The next day I went with him and waited while he had it done. He was back there for a long time. I was starting to get a little worried. He finally came out after 2 hours or more. He said it only took a couple minutes to do it. The rest of the time he was waiting to have it done.

They only do them Friday and then they scheduled as many as they can back to back. They go from one to the other they are all there in their room or waiting area prepared they come in and do it. Then you are pretty much free to go in just a few minutes.

He came out he said they told him the other tube had been removed so there shouldn’t be any issues. He said they cut, burnt and clipped the one that was there. In two months he has to take a sample to the hospital and drop it off to be tested. As long as that comes back okay we will have the all clear.

It will be so nice not having to stress about accidentally getting pregnant again. I am so glad he agreed to go get it taken care of. I have been through so much this last pregnancy and have seen so many horrible stories of issues after wards. My sister was very messed up when they tied her tubes. I wasn’t going to do it. To much of a risk of them “nicking” other things why they are doing it. I figured I am 42 now I should be going through menopause soon I hope. With in the next 2 to 3 years. I know it’s later most the time but most I know did by 45/ 46. I don’t know.

His recovery was good he went to work Sunday and worked a full shift. He said he was a little sore but not to bad. He had a few times he just laid around for the day when he was off or got home but not much.i think it took about 2.5 weeks before he wasn’t having some kind of pain. But he didn’t use ice or anything and didn’t rest as much as he should of. It’s been over a month and he is fine.

Now to get the other part done in March and wait for results.

Since I was left with nothing to do that 2 hours he was back there I went online and found some things and posted them on his Facebook page for him.

There isn’t good service there so it took awhile to go through. We stopped at the store and headed home for him to rest. We were about halfway home and I guess he got good service again and his phone started going off. I had forgotten all about it.

In a minute he goes really? You really think you’re funny don’t you? Think you got jokes. I looked at him so confused was like what? I also did not know he had checked his phone so I really was confused. He goes the stuff you put up on my page. I busted out laughing.

He was like that isn’t funny. I said you left me alone all that time with nothing else to do. He said next time you are going back with me if I have to go to the doctor. I said you forgot they don’t let anyone go back with you and laughed. He said then I’m taking your phone with me and then he laughed. He wasn’t really mad just joking around. Little does be know what I found for when he gets the all clear in a few months haha.

We didn’t do anything for New Year’s this year. Infact we were in bed by 9/9:30 that night. He had to be at work by 5am New Year’s day. I had to be up to take him.

I seen the house down from us looked as if they were getting ready for a party and their were fireworks going off everywhere. They had been for days. Later I went out and they were having a block party. I knew nothing about it but I didn’t care they were not bothering me. If they did they only do it a few times a year so not a big deal.

His mom was still here then too. She didn’t go anywhere or do anything either.

Part of my Christmas gift from work was a bottle of peanut butter whiskey. I decided to have some. I tried some in my tea it wasn’t very good. I did a few shots it was good. I had some coffee made there so I decided to have some in my iced coffee. Oh my that was good. A few shots or so and some cream.

After finished mixing my drink I walked back outside for something and the lady across the street from me and the one down the street from me were sitting out on the side yard talking. I walked over was talking to them.

The lady who lives at the house said something about the party and the people right across not coming. She said they told you all right? I said no one told us anything. she looked so embarrassed. She said I am so sorry, they told me they were telling you all then said they had. Then when it was time they didn’t come out and messaged and said they weren’t coming out they were going to bed or something. They seen us take some cake and birthday balloons in so they thought we were celebrating a birthday that was why we hadn’t come out.

The cake and stuff was mine. Since mine is the day after Christmas we hadn’t done anything. My sister and us met at the park that day to let the kids play and when we pulled up they had cake and balloons with gifts and surprised me. We were bringing those in. But it really wasn’t a big deal I told her that. I said I seen you all setting up but I didn’t know it was for a block party I thought you had people coming over. I didn’t think anything of it.

I didn’t we all do things like anyone else that we don’t invite the block to. When we came out it was a block party I figured one of a few things happened. They just spur of the moment decided to do it figured everyone who wanted to would come out when they seen and got ready, they told the kids and they forgot to tell us, or we weren’t home when they were doing planning they were going to tell us. it wasn’t a big deal she was all worried about it. Was worried that is why we weren’t staying.

I told her no we had to be up by 4am and we had been up most the night with the baby the night before. We were getting ready to go to bed.

The one lady from down the street I like she said what’s in your coffee or is it just coffee? I told her it had peanut butter whiskey in it. She was like oh I never thought of that it’s one of my favorites, I have a bottle at home. She said now I have to try it.

We talked a few minutes and went in to bed. Over all it was a good New Years Eve. Much better than last years. I was to sick to do anything he had wanted to have a party when we first moved in. I told him at that point I was fine if he had a party as long as he didn’t get mad that I spent the night at my old house. He said no that I was to sick he wasn’t going to have a party and didn’t want me staying over there alone and sick. I honestly didn’t care. But that was an uneventful new Year’s Eve too.

Then of course New Year’s day we didn’t really do anything either. He went to work we did a little shopping for the house that was about it.

I made salmon and he made shrimp for dinner his mom was wanting shrimp and fish before she left. She was very surprised how good it came out. She said it was best she had. That’s says a lot because she always has something to say about most places or people’s cooking.

I just hope this year is a good year for us all. I am truly just in the last couple of months starting to feel like my old self and completely over being so sick when I was pregnant.

et cetera
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