{July 27, 2012}   Still Here

Just a quick check in. I’m still here just my net got cut off at the house so I can’t get on a lot right now. I was going to pay on it today when I got money but now they turned it so it will be the first or after before I can get it on because they want more money. But it’s ok I had a few dollars so I brought the kids and my computer to Mc Donald’s for a while. One good thing coming up here today a lady here with her kids just stopped and asked me about my truck. She said she was going to get the number and was out there taking pictures of it. Praying she talks to who ever she needs to talk to and they call me about it this weekend and take it. That would be so nice. If they did I would be moving this week and getting my other truck on the road. Most of all I would be moving!! We all would be so much happier. I don’t know when I will be back on again. can’t wait to really be back on so I can catch up on everyone’s post and fix my stuff. I have been getting a ton of spam stuff and things. I will have to clean it all up when I have more time.

{July 24, 2012}   Our Day/ Project 1

Today was a pretty good day we all slept in well me and the kids did after the dog woke the baby up at like 6am. I had to make her hush and lay down and get the baby back to bed. It kind of worked out better for me that she woke him up then. He has started getting up around 8am. Since it was dark still I was able to give him a bottle and lay him back down. He slept in too. I really needed it today. I fell down in the bathtub and hurt myself today I am really hurting. I smacked the back of my head on the wall I don’t know how many times. I started blacking out the first time. I kept falling back instead of just down it was so weird. Then I went down and hit pretty hard too. So I was not wanting to get up bright and early. At least she didn’t wake all the kids. We sat there and talked for a little bit until RC had to go to work then I want back to sleep until they started getting up and woke me up.

We got up and they had breakfast and ran around and played until RC got home for lunch and brought me the stroller. I don’t have my truck right now it is sitting at RC’s job since we have it for sale. It is on a really busy road and they sell cars there already sometimes so people look for stuff to be out there. I had told the kids we would do a project today to give them something to do but we had to go a couple places to get some stuff. That’s why I had RC bring me the stroller so we could walk. After we all had lunch and he went back to work we got ready and headed out.

We walked up to the produce stand and I let them all pick out a sweet potato. After we left there we stopped at the thrift store on the way home. I let them all go in there and pick out a jar or vase that their sweet potato would fit into. When we got home I showed them how to put tooth picks in them and stick them in their containers and put water in the bottom to grow them.

I remember doing this in school with regular potatoes and looked it up online. It said that you could do it with a sweet potato also and that it would grow a nice vine plant. So I decided to use them instead. I figured they could take care of them and when we move put them in their rooms or in the kitchen. It was a simple project but they had fun just going to the places to get the things they needed and getting to pick out what they were going to use. They didn’t know what we were doing. I just told them to each pick out a sweet potato. They were asking if we were going to eat them and if they were going to get to help cook them and everything. Then when we got to the thrift store I found some jars and things that would work and then showed them all the vases they could pick from and they each got to pick the one they wanted to use.

All their potatoes in the window. They keep going over every time they think of them and looking at them. I ask them what they are doing. They said seeing how much they have grown. They just done them 6 hours ago.  Cheap and easy fun for the day only spent $4.30 for potatoes and jars.

They really want to make robots but I am still working on collecting stuff to make them. My oldest wants to put a egg in a jar. We shall see what all we end up doing now that they are all home pretty much until school starts back.


{July 24, 2012}   Today My Life Begains

I posted a few things about what I have been threw with my middle son my big boy. I found this song a while back and played it. He was with me and he started singing along as loud as he could. When it was over he said play it again mommy play it again so I did. I have it on my player in the truck and every time it comes on he sings his little heart out and says play it again and we do. It just seems so fitting for him from where he was to where he is now and still changing and growing and doing so good. I know he could have been much worse than the problems he has and I think God every day that he isn’t but for a kid even the little things are hard and when you have things like he did it makes things twice as hard. For my big boy and everyone else out there who may need to hear this right now. I feel led to post it.


Video from youtube

#Ammonium Sulfate (salt)

Suspevted gastrointestinal, liver, nerve and respiratory system POISON.


Known to cause CANCER. Suspected  liver respiratory skin and sense organ POISON.

# Genetically modified yeast, animal, bacterial and viral DNA

Can be incorporated into the recipien’s DNA and cause unknown GENETIC MUTATIONS.

# Latex rubber

Can cause life- theartening allergic reactions *

# Monosodium glutamate

(MSG)/ glutamate/glutamic acid

Being studied for mutagenic, teratogenic (developmental malformation and monstrosities) and reproductive effects. A NEUROTOXION. Allergic reactions can range from mild to severe. *

# aluminum

Implicted as a cause of brain damage: suspected factor in ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE. dementia sezures and comas. Allergic reactions can occur on skin. *

# Gelatin

Produced from selected pieces of calf and cattle skins, de-mineralized cattle bones and pork

skin. ALLERGIC reactions have been reported. †

# Gentamicin sulfate 

and polymyxin B  

[ antibiotics ]

ALLERGIC REACTIONS can range from mild to

life threatening.†

# Glutaraldehyde

Poisonous if ingested.  Causes BIRTH DEFECTS

in experimental animals.

# formaldehyde [ formalin ]

Major constituent of embalming fluid: poisonous if ingested.  Probable carcinogen; suspected gastrointestinal, liver, respiratory, immune, nerve and reproductive system POISON.

# human and Animal cells

Human cells from aborted FETAL TISSUE and

human albumin.  Pig blood, horse blood, rabbit

brain, guinea pig, dog kidney, cow heart, monkey kidney, chick embryo, chicken egg, duck

egg, calf serum, sheep blood and others.

# mercury [ thimerosal ]

One of the most poisonous substances

known.  Has an affinity for the brain, gut,

liver, bone marrow and kidneys.  Minute

amounts can cause nerve damage.  Symptoms of mercury toxicity are similar to

those of AUTISM.

# micro-organisms

Dead and alive VIRI AND BACTERIA or

their toxins,  The polio vaccine was contaminated with a monkey virus, now turning up in human bone, lung-lining (mesothelioma), brain tumors and lymphomas.

# neomycin sulfate [ antibiotic ]

Interferes with vitamin B6 absorption.  An

error in the uptake of B6 can cause a rare

form of epilepsy and mental retardation.


mild to life threatening. †

# phenol | phenoxyethanol[ 2-PE ]

Used as anti-freeze. TOXIC to all cells and

capable of disabling the immune system’s

primary response mechanism

# polysorbate 80

Know to cause CANCER in animals

# tri (n) Butylphosphate

Suspected kidney and nerve POISON.

† When babies are hours or days old it is 

impossible to know if they have an allergy

A major cause of the Roman Empire’s decline, after six centuries of world dominance was its replacement of stone aqueducts by lead pipes for the transport and supply of drinking water: Roman engineers, the best in the world, turned their fellow citizens into neurological cripples. Today our own “best and brightest,” with the best intentions, achieve the same end through childhood vaccinations programs yielding the modern scourges of hyperactivity, learning disabilities, autism appetite disorders and impulsive violence.   

I think this stuff everyone should take the time to read and know even if you dont have a child with autism. As so many kids are being diagnosed with it I am sure you will meet someone with it or see them out and about. This is why we should not judge when we see kids places you never know what the family is going threw or dealing with.

Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The
only consistent attribute – the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level
but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The c
who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and
downright difficult. Autism was once thought an “incurable” disorder, but that notion is
crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read
this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome,
compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging
characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of
autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey
towards productive, independent adulthood. Autism is an extremely complex disorder
but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four
fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and
impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And
though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front of-mind the
fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will
be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as
importantly – every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the
spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.

I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily “autistic.” My autism
is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you
a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight),
myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be
things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all
about. As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to
single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still
unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one
characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I
get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?

My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most
difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It means
that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may
not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to
live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just
trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for
me: My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The
loudspeaker booms today’s special. Music whines from the sound system. Cash
registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches,
babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input
and I’m in overload! My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is
handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re
mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously
nauseated. Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first
sense to become over-stimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes
and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces
off everything and distorts what I am seeing — the space seems to be constantly
changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may
compensate with “tunnel vision”), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant
motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell
where my body is in space.

Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not
able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major
challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you.
When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy.
#$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put
your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to
do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very
confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really
mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is
no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When
you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just
tell me “Jamie ran very fast.” Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference,
metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need
when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated,
frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be
alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong. Or,
there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off
words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have
memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I
know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the
speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context
or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a

Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show m
how to do something rather than just tell me. And please be prepared to show me
many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn. A visual schedule is extre
helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of
having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities,
and helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. I won’t lose the need for a
visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can
read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a
combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words

Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other
human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to
be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look
for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most

Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the
other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how
to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to
invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be
included. I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I
don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so
I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when
Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper
response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”

Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums, or
whatever you want to call them, are even more horrid for me than they are for you.
They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure
out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log, noting times, settings,
people, activities. A pattern may emerge. Try to remember that all behavior is a form of
communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is
happening in my environment. Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may
have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders, and
gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.

Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t
she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you
wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But
remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of
successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the
possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you – I am worth it.

And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a
different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and
see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or
conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my
classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the
next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary
focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh. They had autism too. The
answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life — what future achievements
from today’s children with autism, children like me, lie ahead? All that I might become
won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll
see just how far I can go.
©2005 Ellen Notbohm

{July 20, 2012}   Girly Wisdom

Got this from a friend and thought it was cute.




Women over 50 don’t have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.


A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but doesn’t really care.


One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.


The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.


The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body

and your fat are really good friends.


Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.


Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!


Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’ ……

Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.

You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! (My favorite one)


The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.


I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.

Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day!

{July 20, 2012}   Sharks

Elisha decides he has to tell me all about sharks before he could go to bed. He tells me there are some who are (  ) big and some who are this (                                                              )big and puts his hands way out. Then he tells me they have hearts stomaches and skelatons and knifes on their back. He says and they like to eat people they go like this. First they put their knifes out of the water then they sing this song. dom dom dom dom and then they circle the people around like this and he is doing all the movments as he is telling me. Then they chomp and grab them by the leg and pull them under the water and make them into little tiny bones every where just like that.

{July 20, 2012}  

Seen this re-blogged and thought it should continue to be re-blogged by everyone who see’s it.

{July 19, 2012}   Let Down

I feel like I have let the most importaint people in my life down, my kids. I went and picked them up today to take them with us to a friends house so they could play with the kids and maybe go swimming with us. They were happy when I got there and woke them up at lunch time. They been staying up late and sleeping in. Kind of good I guess for my dad. We went to my friends had lunch and they all played. When we left they both started asking if they were going to go back to daddy’s and why not. When we got home we were getting out of the truck and my big boy says you haven’t moved us you haven’t moved any of us you don’t care what we think and a bunch of stuff. He is upset we are still all staying in the apartment. I told him why and that I am trying. They are both unhappy about being home even just for the night. I feel so bad. I am trying I am doing all I can do right now. I want to go get us a bigger place so bad. They think we are just still here because I want to be here to be with RC. That isn’t it at all. They don’t understand because their dad runs his mouth and says stuff and he don’t tell them how he didn’t pay me for almost 4 months or more after he moved out and I had to spend the money I had to move on. How he didn’t do what he was supposed to do this summer so I could do what I needed too. I tell them and they just look at me because they don’t know what is really going on and their dad tells them stuff and gets them into stuff that they don’t need to be in. I can’t stand it.

{July 18, 2012}   Changing Fast

It’s funny how fast things in life change. I sit here and think about where I was a few years ago and just 8 months ago and where I am today. Things haven’t went how I planed but do things every go as we plan for them too. A few years ago I was hating life and had no plan all I knew was that I wanted out of the situation I was in. I was worried about my family my kids the most and how it would effect them and where we would go what we would do.

8 months ago I was even more unhappy and miserable than I was a year or two before. I finally decided enough was enough things were going to change we were getting out. I didn’t know where we were going to go how it was going to effect any of us or what we were going to do. I just knew we had to get out and we had to get out now. Things between me and soon to be were worse now we hardly spoke to each other and when we did it always turned into a huge fight. It was to the point I didn’t care anymore and I knew it was going to come down to blows. I wasn’t going to let myself get in trouble for something like that and risk losing my licence and not being able to work down the road. I finally told him he had to get out and sat the kids down and told them that he was going to be moving out.

I was already ok with my decision I knew a long time before that I wanted out there were no feelings there for him at all. I was at the point I wanted to go out and date find someone new to be with. I wanted someone to talk to someone who cared how I felt and what I wanted not just about what I did for them or what they wanted. I wanted a relationship again to feel that closeness with someone again. I figured it would be forever before I found someone that I would want to even be in a relationship with. To my surprise it wasn’t long at all. About 4 months later I met RC threw my friend and things have been great.

Things are hard right now trying to get moved and get the kids settled since we hadn’t really planed on moving like this right a way. But other than that things with us are going good. The kids are all doing good and taken care off. It’s hard on them with the space and getting use to each other but I think they will be better once we get moved. They all want to know where the others are and when they are coming home if some of them are gone.

I’m still working on going to work and getting back in school. Like I told RC just because we moved together don’t mean I’m not going to still do the things I had planed to do. I planed to start working and take some trips when the kids are out of school and with their dad or on the weekends when they are with their dad. I want to get new stuff for the house and things when I start working. I am going to go to school for sure. And with in a year to two years I plan on having the truck I want and if everything goes as I want it to in court be moved out of FL in a few years.

He understands and don’t have a problem with it. He said something once about not being able to go to school and work with the kids and him working and things. That I would probably be able to just go to school. He would like it if I just went to school and not work any way so that I’m not trying to jaugle so much and I can do good in school. But like I told him this was already my plan and I’m not going to change that. I know the things I want and where I want to be in a few years and I know that in order for me to have them and to be where I want to be I am going to have to work too. I don’t mind doing that. I am not one who sits there and thinks he should make enough to cover everything for the house and everything I want or want to do. I like to work and help out with things and to have the extra money.

I don’t know how things are going to work when I want to take trips now and then I guess that is a bridge we will have to cross when we get to it. My kids go to their dads on the weekend and things so I know I have x days free. His don’t do that right now they go to her moms now and then but it is just for the day or maybe over night now and then but that’s it. I want him to go with me but I’m not taking kids it is time for me to get a way and do something I want to do kid free. I don’t have to make a ton of stops on the way and I can hang out with my friends when I get there and we can get up and do whatever we want to do when we want too. We will have to work on finding someone to watch them for the weekend or what ever time we are going to be going. But that is the least of our worries right now. Right now we just have to get moved and threw the birthdays and holidays. We have 3 birthdays with in 2 weeks coming up and then go right into the Christmas.

The last 8 months have brought a lot of change mostly for the good. Can’t wait to see what the next 8 months bring. Hopefully more great changes.

et cetera
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