Last night I went into the kitchen to cook dinner. Nothing big just bacon, and eggs as I wasn’t feeling the best. I got everything out to cook and started to call the kids in there to see what they wanted how many different ways I was going to have to make eggs. Then I thought about it why am I doing that why not just make one kind and make if faster since I didn’t feel good as it was. So that’s what I did, everyone got fried eggs for dinner. I made them all plates and sat them down to eat and not one complained or asked why we were having them this way or said I don’t like it. They sat down said grace and ate their dinner.
If I was still with RC that would have never happened. I would have made fried eggs scrambled eggs and boiled. Because his kids were so picky and didn’t like anything or would only eat stuff if it was cooked just this way. Well one was any way. The other was like mine he would eat anything you put in front of him. But how can you make one kids one way and tell the others they have to have it this way not the way they want it. I understand most kids are not like mine and will not eat whatever you give them. But that is how my kids have been taught since they were little. If they truly don’t like it that is fine. But you don’t say you don’t like it or don’t want it just because you that isn’t what you want that night. It didn’t matter what I cooked or how I cooked it 99% of the time it was a fight to get his oldest to eat it. He didn’t like anything and would make himself gag and get sick if you told him he had to eat it. Then half the time if you made him take a bite or two he would eat it and tell you how good it was. But then two days later or next week he didn’t like it again and was gagging. I seen it was because his dad would cook just what he knew he liked and cook it how he wanted it and cater to him. I told him real fast that I didn’t and don’t do that for my kids and I wasn’t going to start doing it now. When I know it is something he don’t like I will give him something else. But when he just ate it last week and loved it he will eat or he will do with out unless he was going to cook for him because I wasn’t. I am that way with all kids that are at my house. He started making him eat the stuff that was cooked. And my favorite I just ate it to get desert or leave the table and not eat and then want desert. His dad would go for it. I said nope we don’t eat just because we know there is desert after and if there isn’t we just don’t eat and we don’t leave the table and not eat then when other kids are getting desert you come back want to eat to get it. If you don’t eat when you are at the table and you leave you do not get desert or anything else til morning. Then he was saying how the doctor said he was under wieght and needed to eat more of this and that. I said if he would eat what is put in front of him and you didn’t cater to him he would gain. When I started doing things the way I did he started gaining. He would say I am going to eat at my grandma’s she don’t make us eat vegies or she don’t make us eat this and that. I just got to where I would say that’s fine I will cook less.
They would tare up everything no matter what it was it didn’t matter how big or small if it cost $2 or $200. I would say something to them about standing there doing whatever and breaking it for no reason or that it was going to break if they didn’t stop. They say it’s ok we are allowed too it don’t matter or it’s ok daddy or grandma will get us another. We got lots of toys we don’t care if it breaks. They didn’t care if it was theirs or not either. My kids had a play room for the first 3 years we lived in our house after we bought it. Most all the toys were kept in it put up. They had things they didn’t want to get messed up by other kids or broken in their room. Kids were not allowed in the rooms unless my kids told them they could go in there and took them in there. It was their own space to have things that meant something to them. Not that kids tear stuff up but no matter how good the kids are and how careful they are things happen and things get broke. And it is different if you break something of yours or if someone else breaks it. I see nothing wrong with them having stuff in their rooms like that. They couldn’t go in each others rooms and get stuff with out asking. When we moved up there they all shared a room I would tell the kids some things they didn’t want messed with to put in their dresser. They all had their own so no need to be in anyone else. Things like their DS and whatever. They would go in their stuff and get it out lose it or break it. Then when something was said it was well I don’t know who lost it or who broke it or whatever I wasn’t here. It didn’t matter if the kids said this one or that one done it. I started making them look until they found it if they lost it. If they didn’t want to tell who took it or got it out they both got to look for it. RC would say well that isn’t right that they have stuff they aren’t allowed to play with. The boys share everything with them. They have never had stuff each other weren’t allowed to play with or other kids couldn’t play with.That just the stupid. I said no it isn’t kids all need their own stuff and their own space just like anyone else that they have control over. I said you don’t want them touching your stuff and have a fit. Like I told him if they had stuff they didn’t want the kids to play with all they had to do was so say and put it up. But because they just did whatever with their stuff and didn’t care what happen to it then mine were supposed to be the same. Just like I got the the baby this little recliner chair just his size when I got my kids the DS game because he was to small for the game. My kids are probably still small enough to sit in it heck I have seen some adults sit in them. I don’t think they should they are not that well made but I have seen it. I am sure once or twice probably wouldn’t hurt it. But I didn’t want the kids sitting in it and messing it up or something happening. Like I said it don’t matter how care full you are things happen. I still catch them sitting on the arm or back of my couch and chairs at times and have to get on them. So they know he don’t play with their ds they don’t sit in his chair. of course there was something said over that. I said look my kids don’t tare their stuff off they have things that are not cheap and accident or not they don’t want their stuff broken. I don’t have money to run out and replace it if something happens to it. The older two are big enough to know what they want others to play with or not he isn’t and until he is it is up to me to keep others from messing his stuff up and tearing it up. I got him that chair it will last him a long time no bigger than he is he don’t have much that is just his or that didn’t come from his brother or whatever and no they are not messing it up. My kids are not allowed to sit in it and I’m not letting them.
Simple things as getting dressed wasn’t even simple. Their grandma started washing their school clothes since they were over there after school and would change. She would lable the shirts and pants so that this shirt went with this pair of pants. Even though you could mix and match them and different stuff went together. If you didn’t do it she would make comments. I didn’t look at that I looked in the closet grabbed a shirt and pants that went together and gave him to put it on. One day something was said and I just told him. I been dressing kids for 17 years or more. Longer than you or your ex I don’t need you or her mommy to tell me how to dress them and what matches. If her mommy wants that much control over what they were then she needs to be the one getting them up and getting them dressed not me. I’m not going to be told how to do things by someone that don’t even live here and really shouldn’t have any say. I guess she got mad because after another week or so he started getting up and laying each one of their clothes out for them so they were ready when they got up all they had to do is get them and put them on. and everything should be on hangers unless it was shorts or underwear. I said there is very little that I hang up of my own or the kids and I am not hanging up t shirts and polo shirts and things. I am washing drying folding and putting a way for 7 people plus doing everything else in the house for that many and you or no one else wants to help when I do things I do them my way when you do them you do them yours. As long as it is getting done then that is all that matters.
It is nice to just go do what I need to do or want to do and not have to worry about how everyone else wants it or if they will eat it or if there is going to be a fight because someone don’t want their stuff tore up. It was all ways something mostly with the kids and his mother in law or with the kids. I have noticed over the last month how much happier everyone seems and how much less stressful things are. They were very spoiled and immature for their age. They babied them way to much. Like he said her mom and dad worshiped the ground they walked on and they did anything and everything for them. He let them have say over whatever because they bought them stuff and paid for stuff for them. He worried more about what they thought and making them unhappy than what was best for us and all the kids or family as a whole. He even said that when we first got together. He was going to change but he didn’t. He didn’t want to make waves and them maybe not pay for something. That’s all it was. He needed to grow up be a man and pay for his kids himself. I loved him and the kids but there always would have been problems because of them as long as we were around here.