You know when I was younger a lot of kids parents were not together but all the kids lived with their mothers. I am not saying that the fathers were not fit and I know it was a lot easier for mothers back then to get custody of their kids than it was for fathers. But it seems like a lot of the dads just weren’t around and didn’t seem to care if they seen their kids or not. They were there when they wanted to be and gone when they didn’t. Sometimes months or more at a time.
Sad to say I have seen a huge shift in that. It seems the dads are way more on the ball and taking care of the kids a lot more than the moms these days. I’m not talking about just the moms who lose the kids to the father in court. Even then it takes a lot to lose your kids and a lot of them who do don’t ever fight to get them back or have much to do with them. But even ones where it has never been to court. The mothers just walk a way or so caught up in everything else that if the father decides to leave he packs the kids up and takes them with him because he knows it is better for them to not be left there. I know a lot of dads that have their kids because the moms just don’t care. They don’t bother to come around and they don’t even bother to pay support for their kids. If the shoe was on the other foot and they were the ones with the kids they would be the first ones asking for support. The fathers don’t say anything or ask for a dime they just work and take care of the kids and do what has to be done.
I understand that sometimes things happen and you can’t get your kids or keep them at the time for what ever the reason maybe. I found myself in that situation just the other month. I had no clue where I was going to go or how I was going to go because I became homeless in just a few minutes just about. Then I did the only thing I knew to do I called their dad and ask him if he could take them why I found us a place to move and got going again. But I am still in the picture I am still helping with them and see them every day. The way things have ended up we were all able to stay here and be together. Ex gave me his room and moved in to the boys room. I am not saying that’s how things should be done with everyone. But I do understand that things happen and sometimes with their dad is the best place for the time being. But I am doing every thing I can to get a job and get a place of our own so that I can get us out of here as soon as I can. Because I sure don’t want to be here. But these women don’t seem to care or want anything to do with their kids. They are out parting hanging out or just doing their thing. I know some of them who don’t come around for months at a time and then half the time when they do they hardly have anything to do with the kids. They are to busy trying to get money from the dad or trying to get back with him. I don’t know of any of them that even take the kids for a night much less a weekend or anything like that.
I just don’t understand how a mother could just not care like that. I can see how it can be easier for the fathers they may not have the same type of bond as mothers do. But how do you carry a child for 9 months and then just not care what happens to it after that? I will never understand that as long as I live. It killed me when I thought mine were going to be staying with their dad and I wasn’t going to have them it was even harder when I thought I was going to be going out of state and not able to see them for weeks at a time. I guess it just comes down to the person. If that was my kid and they did that to their kid or kids I don’t care if they were the father or the mother I would not be happy and they sure would know about it.
It’s funny everyone still talks about the dads and the dads not being around and doing their part but what about the dead beat mothers? They all talked and still talk about all these kids growing up with out a father figure in their life but you don’t hear about the ones growing up with out a mother figure in their life and how it is going to effect them. I think this next generation or two we are going to see how it effects them. But I don’t know the dads I know of and the dads I see seem to be doing a pretty awesome job. But they still can’t take the place of a mom.
You know the funny thing is most of the dads I know don’t get help from the state or with daycare of anything like that like the moms would be getting. And they don’t have that great of a job making all that much money. But they are doing it and they don’t complain about not getting help or support from the mother. Most feel like I do they hate it for the kid/kids the other parent isn’t around but if that is the way they are going to be it is better. They would rather not have the support and have them there than to go for support and have to have them there all the time.