{November 10, 2012}   From Adoption to I Don’t Want Any of This

Funny how douche bag AKA RC just dropped his two boys here to be with his “girls” as he calls them and hardly has them around or anything to do with them. But when we were together he was talking about wanting me to adopt them and wanting me to fight to keep them if anything ever happen to him and going to see if he could get it set up so that I could keep them if anything ever happened so her family couldn’t fight it and I wouldn’t have to fight. He wanted to get insurance policies and everything else so that i could have money to take care of them and to be able to fight for them if they tried to fight. because DCF has stepped in and said that they can’t be with the mother. That is why he has them and she is always in and out of jail and on drugs. Her mother can’t handle them both by herself and her husband works over seas for 3 to 6 months at a time or more. They are older and like he said they aren’t going to be around til they are grown either probably. He didn’t want them to be shuffled around. That they would be better off with me and my kids and for me to just raise them as mine with mine since I was already doing it.

I had said to him a few times that we hadn’t been together for very long and that it was still their mothers right to try to get clean and have them back if anything happen to him and things like that. That seeing as if anything happen to him with in the first few years I probably wouldn’t have a chance of keeping them if her family or his stepped in and wanted them. I would have gladly done it I loved them to death just as if they were mine but I was thinking more real about it. That was when he was saying he wanted to talk to a lawyer and things and see what he could do and all that to make sure it was done and they couldn’t fight it. He said he would keep mine and raise them if something happen to me. I told him if something happen to me my kids would go to their dad. As much as I feel they would be better off somewhere else that is their dad and they are his kids and that is where they need to be. I wouldn’t keep them from him. I told him if something was to happen to me and their dad he was to make sure they got to NC to be with ex’s brother and sister in law. They would be the best to take care of them out of both sides of our family and that if something happen I wanted them to be with them and that I would like for them to stay in touch and be able to see each other. That if they were a lot older and something happen they were teens or what and something happen then it would be up to them and him if they wanted to stay with him or go with family and if he wanted to keep them or send them with family.

I just find it funny how we went from talking about all this again just a few days before everything happening to this now. And the fact that we went from being together raising all the kids and taking care of them to not being together me having my kids and doing for my kids still and him not having his not being there and not seeing his but once or twice a month. But moved on to another family and girlfriend where 3 out of 4 kids are not his. How do you push your kids aside and have nothing to do with them to keep this other family that mostly isn’t even yours. He can say he wants to see his daughter and have a relationship with her. But you should want to have a relationship with all your kids and pretty much the same with all of them. What the mother says or don’t says don’t really matter. There are ways to get to see your kid with out dropping the others and haven nothing to do with them to kiss the others mothers ass and make her happy. If she don’t want to be an adult about it and work something out then you take it to court and let the judge decide how it is worked. Not drop your other kids to see her and have a relationship with her.

It’s crazy you go from a true “family” everyone together to someone else family and throwing everyone and everything a way from this one. Just to have one. One out of 8 kids. He wants to tell me their is a special place in hell for someone like me. Because I don’t want my baby to be a part of his circus and don’t want him to see it just when he feels like coming around a few times a year or month. But he can throw 7 other kids and a relationship a way to have one. And that’s ok nothing wrong with it at all. I don’t understand how people think sometimes.

The Old Heave Ho says:

Sadly you will probably have this issue your whole life since your having a child with him. I am curious and I hope this doesn’t upset you but it seems like your ex husband is good to you…. why is there no way to reconcile that? My husband and I were almost divorced then decided we do love each other and are working hard to be “soul mates” we really never were. There are more uos then downs and I am appreciative of that… when I read your post sometimes I wonder why your so hell bent on being over him when I feel in the text there is something there… anyway hope I didn’t over step bounds and I do lobe your blog

My ex is trying really hard right now to be helpful and things and he wants me to see that he has “changed” but when it comes down to it he really hasn’t changed. I really thought that with the kids things had changed and he was doing better with them. But I am glad I stayed here for a few weeks to start with to get things settled before I went out of state. Because I have seen things are just the same and worse in some ways with the way he treats them and takes care of them. He was supposed to be seeing someone to get help and things and he stopped doing that. There is a lot that he did and said the last few years that we were together that I can’t be with him anymore. I really don’t have feelings for him. I am at that point that we can be friends get along for the kids do things with or for them together and not fight and things and not make it feel aka-ward for others if they are around. but that’s it. He was very emotionally abusive and sometimes I think that is worse than if he had hit me. marks go a way emotional stuff stays with you from now on.

RC I don’t think I am going to have to worry about to much as long as I don’t go after him for child support. I wouldn’t get anything anyway if I did a few dollars a week. He dumped his two boys that he has had all their life for 5 and 6 years to be with and ex he hadn’t seen or talk to in 9 years and a daughter he had never met. I don’t think he will come around or bother me about this one. It’s clear that his girlfriend don’t want any of the kids around but hers.

The Old Heave Ho says:

Ahhhh I guess I didn’t understand that he was emotionally abusive … then hell no 😀 thank you for explaining.

serenityluv1 says:

Alot of men does this…they simply love the kids they are with…if it doesnt work out with their mom then their sorry butts just move on…sad

very sad and sadder that the two he left after me and him split are his two also not mine. I could see if they weren’t his but being they are his and he is the best option for them for him to just toss them to the side like no big deal when he has been in their life since day one and the only thing they have really had for the last year just about is pretty sorry on his part. He is going to see one day when he has no one but all these kids left and they want nothing to do with him.

[…] a ton of breaks. I never thought of it when we were talking earlier or even when I was writing From Adoption to I Don’t Want Any of This I never thought about it. But this baby is not my es’s not that I didn’t know that but […]

[…] or more now probably. Every since I thought of it when I was replying to a comment on my post From Adoption to I Don’t Want Any of This. So then I wrote the post Family Ties. But I still think about it all the time and how the kids […]

[…] I told him how we went from him wanting to get married and me to adopt two of his kids. To I don’t want any of this […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: