So I sold my truck today. Got way less than what it was worth or what I could have gotten out of it if it had been running. But I need the money for the kids for Christmas and to pay a bill. Not much left to work with for Christmas but at least I can get them something. I could cry I guess I have I have done nothing but cry just about all after noon. I really liked that truck and wanted to keep it. I like it way better than mine and would have sold mine if I had the money to get the other one running and the things it needed fixed on it. It is a better truck over all I feel but I had to do what I had to do. I sit back and look at where I am right now and all that I have been threw this year and just can’t believe that I am where I am. But can see why and see that it is all my fault and that I made a really big mistake and boy am I paying for it now. I will be paying for it for a very long time but this is probably the worse it could get. All though I say that and it only gets worse. My friend keeps saying it can only get better from here right but I truly don’t feel that way. I sure can’t think that way because it never does it just gets worse every time I think it is looking up. I keep coming here and writing and probably pretty much just rambling but I don’t know what else to do. All I can do is think about everything and try to figure out what to do and where to go from here. I am so tired and so wore out so exhausted from all this. All I want is a home for my kids I feel so bad that they are suffering for mistakes I have made the last few month. It isn’t fair to them and all because I thought someone cared. I thought that we were going to be together and have a place and family. If things had worked out like they were supposed to then we wouldn’t be in this mess and we would have a home. I have been looking for a job but it is hard to do not having a place to stay and the kids settled down. I have no where for them to be watched at and they would pretty much need to be watched in my home the hours I need someone. I need to call the man about my other house he says he can get us help moving and money to help us move. I’m supposed to call him by tomorrow and see what he can do. I don’t know what he can do or how much he can give us. I have heard anywhere from $1000 to $5000 and around $3000 if we stay in the area we are in more if we go out of state. But right now it isn’t the money down and all that we are having problems with. Now we are having problems showing enough income coming in a month. But maybe if I had more to work with right now I could pay a few months more rent upfront and get into something easier. I could tell them I could pay two or three months upfront and then still pay every month and be paid ahead. Then when I get ready to move I can let them know and be ahead a few months and save that money I would pay my rent with for them months to help move on. I am ready to tell this guy to help me move out of state. You get more if you move out of state.

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