{January 18, 2013}   House and Baby Update

We finally got a place Wednesday. We moved two of the beds in and I have went out and got some stuff but we don’t have much there right now other than us and one of the dogs. It is just so late by the time he gets off work we get dinner and things. we are making due with what we have and with what I have been buying. I got rid of most everything when we left the house and when I went and stayed with RC. I had a lot of it from when me and ex got married or shortly after so I decided to start over and get new stuff. I have to get stuff for the living room a bunch of stuff for the kitchen. I think I am going to use the table I got when I was with RC because I don’t have a big spot for it. The kids have beds but I want to get new ones. They are going to have to wait a little bit. I have a bed I’m not worried about getting anything I’m fine with it. I am going to put the baby in the room with me he is in with the boys and my big girl got her own room. I have to put the crib up and put the chest in there for her clothes and things. I have a nice size walk in closet with built in shelves and things I am going to put my stuff in there and be done. I got the master bed with the bathroom and things. I may have to change with him and the boys but I really don’t want to. I don’t want them to have it because I don’t want to have to keep my 2 year old from playing in the bathroom all the time. I want to be able to put him in his room to play with out worrying about it. or down for a nap. All the rooms are really about the same size with in a few inches of each other really I think. He is just going to have to down size to a smaller bed. He wants to keep his king and it is to big for the rooms. They need a twin and full but he don’t want to go smaller than a queen. I can’t wait to decorate and get everything for the house. I got a tv last night. I went to the rental place and got one. I figure I will pay it off in a month or so when tax money comes in. Then I will have a nice tv for a while. I was looking for living room stuff but they didn’t really have anything. I am going to go look some places tomorrow when I don’t have to take the kids. Baby boy has been in rare form the last week or so. Throwing fits every where over everything. I will post some pictures that they have on the listing. But I will post more better ones once I get everything together and done.


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abc1It is a little dated but it will work. It was in the area we want to be in and it has enough room for us all. Figure it will be ok for a year. maybe not even have to be that.




Why we were renting a trailer at the storage place to get the beds the doctors office called. I figured they were calling because I missed the 3 hour sugar test I was supposed to do that day. She then tells me that the baby is measuring small and that I have to come in and have NST done twice a week until I have it. I got it put off until Tuesday. I told her I had a doctors appointment then could I just do it right before or right after she said before was fine. I then have to make appointments for the rest of them when I leave. they had told me that it was right on track all this time and the two test I had. But they said the u/s I had the other days shows it is small. I wouldn’t be to worried if it was weight they were talking but they say bones and all are small. That don’t seem right if it was right on track before. They said when they did the test it would be hard to to see any of the markers for downs because I was so far along but they weren’t seeing anything. But that didn’t mean that they weren’t there or there was nothing wrong. She did say that most the time with that there is like one bone that is small and the rest are good. so i don’t know I go back Tuesday and talk to the doctor. I just wish it was all over and she was here now with all this going on. I hate it because I have felt from the start that something was wrong before I ever got to go to the doctor. that is one reason I went to the ER when I couldn’t get into the doctor. but I wonder now if what they told me there was right or not. I am so sleepy I am here doing my 3hr test for sugar because I failed the 1hr. Had to take a nap and come back. I didn’t get to bed until 2 and was already out the door and on the road by 5:30 am. Then not eating and drinking that sugar nasty stuff they give you I was feeling so sleepy and sick. I have 45 more minutes to go and one more stick. Then I can eat, it will have been 18 hours by the time I get to eat since I ate last night. I think I will pass this one my sugar was only 87 when I came in after not eating since last night. They said that was really good. I am still pretty sleepy and feeling kind of sick still. Can’t wait to go eat and feel better. wish I had brought something with me to eat but I didn’t. I have to stop and get something.

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<——- It’s a baby foot


















<————-And a baby face with and arm up in front of it.

{January 11, 2013}   2nd Doctors Appointment

Tuesday I made it to my 2nd doctors appointment for the baby. I was supposed to go the Thursday before but had to cancelled because ex didn’t get off to watch the kids like he was supposed to. I had them all home still for Christmas break. They had called and left a message saying they had results from my ultrasound they did right after Thanksgiving at the hospital when I got sick and had to go. They said I didn’t need to go for the one they gave me paper work to get. I never called back to get the results they told me at the ER everything looked great. I had to much going on and just didn’t bother with it.

Well when I got in there Tuesday I was in trouble some other women said she had been trying to get a hold of me. Then she says that they were calling to tell me I needed to be on bed rest all this time and that I needed to get that other test right a way. I told her the one call I got said not to get it so I hadn’t been worried about it. She just looked at me and walked out. She also said that the blood work I was supposed to get I needed new orders for because I now was farther along and needed more test. She just wasn’t very nice at all. I didn’t feel good and had baby boy with me getting into everything. I had been up and driving around since 4am. I was already upset and tired. This visit was with the doctor and she finally came in after what seemed like forever. They said she would be in in just a minute. She came in and started talking to me. She knows the spot we are in right now and that we are staying here and there. I guess she looked over my file and the NP had talked to her. I think the other lady must have talked to her about the test too. She was so nice about everything. She told me that she wanted to know if it was ok if she talked to some of the churches in the area to see if they had anything they could do or help us find a place and things. I told her that was fine. She asked if I had car seat and things. I told her I had the one for my son but nothing for the baby yet. She said she was going to see what she could do about that too. I told her I had money to get a place and to get seats and things. We just couldn’t find a place in our price range that they are either gone or we get turned down for them. She said she was going to work on it and get back with me. I was so tired and upset I was crying before we even got started with the exam. She said she was writing more orders for more test and asked if I would get them done with in the next day or two. I told her I would do my best. I am staying 50 miles a way from her office or more and have the baby to take everywhere with me. But that I would figure out something.

She said that my placenta was way to low and close to the cervix and that they needed to look at it and see if it had moved or how bad it really was. Until I go back I she wanted me on bed rest so that nothing happen. I told her I didn’t know how that was going to work but that I would rest as much as I could. She was worried because I lost weight instead of gaining anything in the last month. I told her I have been sick my tooth has been bothering me and I am just stressed and wore out. I am eating but I hardly ever feel hungry. I had a half a sub two days here and then a little bit at dinner. But I eat a little bit and then I feel full in just a few bites or feel sick. I know it is stress and being here at my moms. All I hear is complain all day and how I should be doing everything and how it should be done and on and on. We don’t get along at all. The baby is into everything here he has no one to play with. He has his toys but he is bored the other kids are too. I had gained a lot when we spent the 3 weeks with my friend but things were much more relaxed and everyone was happier . even though we had 4 adults and 9 kids in the house. Plus me and her would cook and things get stuff done together the kids could play why we did what we had to do we were having to watch them 24/7 and make sure they weren’t getting into stuff. They could go outside and play too. we would make or go get something for lunch and things too.

Here I am so stressed and then this week the kids went back to school. I have to get up at 4 have him to work by 5 then sit for two hours before one gets on the bus and the other goes to school. Then me and the baby have nothing to do or no where to go until they get off and we can head home. We ride around all day or find place to park and sit why he sleeps and things. It is crazy, by the time I get home I am so tired from not getting sleep the night before and things. Then have to make dinner and feed the kids get them ready for the next day. By the time I go to bed it is a few hours before I have to get up and do it again. Then I hear how I do nothing and everyone else is doing everything and how he has to help when he worked all day and all this stuff. I am just over it. Half the time we can’t even come home when he gets off we have to go meet the lady and look at houses. Then come home. I just pray we find something this weekend and get moved so that we don’t have to worry about it all next week. I keep them home today and didn’t take them I am going to get in trouble if I keep them home to much. Big boy really needs to be there so he can get caught up and where he needs to be. the last month has throw everything off for him.

{January 11, 2013}   1 Year

The 9th was my year mark for signing up and posting my first post with word press. My blog is not what I thought it would be or where I thought I would be with it by now. But I am happy with it for what I have been able to put into it this far. I hope to get things settled this next week or so and be able to work more on it. Seems like every time I get a good roll at it something happens and I get side tracked for a while. I want to say thank you to all my followers and readers who have stuck around. I can’t wait to get settled down so that I can get caught up on reading too. I love to read all the other blogs on here as well as write.

I have done a lot of things the last year and now trying to play catch up and clean up after them all. I have to say I have learned some things and seen somethings. I am glad that I had here to document them and keep track of them. It has been a great place to write down memories and document things. It has also been such a great place to get feed back and just know that I can write what I want and say what I want with out being judged or having everyone just looking for something to start about. It’s nice to know that others read and great to hear the input from everyone. That’s one thing I hope to have more over this year feedback and input from others.

This years adventurer are just be gaining and it has been a year already so far. But this year is going to be a good year for me and my babies. They went threw and dealt with so much last year I want this year to be great for them. I know there are going to be some hard times to get threw this year and different things we are going to deal with but I think over all it is going to be good.

{January 2, 2013}   Hopeful News Today

When I finally got into see my doctor for the baby the other month they always have new people fill out a healthy start form and turn into them. I had to tell them I didn’t have an address because I don’t I am staying with family and friends. Just wear-ever we can stay for a few days or week. I put the same thing on the paper for them they had me fill out.

Well I hadn’t heard anything back from them until today. They called and I had no clue who it was so I didn’t answer then they left a message and it was them so I called back. She said they got my information from the doctor and they knew a little bit about what was going on that she would like to come out and talk to me on Monday. I set up a time and things to talk to her. I told her that I had been staying with ex and that then what happen with the house. I told her that me and ex were trying to find a place together just to get the kids into a home somewhere and get things settled down for them but that I would really rather get a place on my own for me and the kids. I asked her about housing and things. She said they had information about that she would bring that too.

I am not sure housing is an option depending on where they have open. My friend got help from them and it isn’t good area’s they put you in at all. Her place got shot up on night with her and her kids inside. They came by and shot all the windows out. They think they were after the apartment next to her over drugs and things but it is one of theirs also. I know one or two places they have that aren’t bad but it just depends if they have anything open and if they will let us into those ones.

But I am 50 miles or so from the kids schools and they start back Tuesday. I have to do the finale walk threw on the other house on the 11th and have it cleaned up and the dogs out. I don’t know how long it will take her to help us get into somewhere and I don’t know if she does if we will be able to have the dogs. That is something we will have to worry about and cross when we get there. I have already had a melt down tonight when I talk to the kids about getting rid of the dogs.

Sometimes I think having things so stable and consistent for them all their life has done more harm than good. They are use to living in the same place the last 5 years. Probably the only place any of them can remember living. They were so little when we moved in. It is the only place my baby boy has lived other than over the summer for a few months and now. I feel so bad he keeps telling me mommy I want go home. I want hank or little dog. I had a melt down from the bigger two tonight talking about getting rid of even just the big dog. Most people don’t want her because of breed or weight.

I haven’t told ex that the lady is coming to talk to me yet I figure I just need to wait until I talk to her see what she has to offer how long it will take and what seems to be the best option after that. She said their goal is to get it so that me and the kids can be on our own. But being so far along and so close to my due date it may take a little while longer too because it will take longer to go back to work and things. The only other thing that may help to is the fact that my son gets SSI. That may get us help that we wouldn’t normally get or maybe faster than it normally would. I have never had to do all this before or deal with places like this before. But at this point I need some help to get back on my feet and get my kids a home. I have tried every thing I can think of and even trying to get a place with ex isn’t working because the rents are going up and up here because of tax time and things. It is about to the point we can’t afford anything together even.

I don’t feel bad for not telling him I have made it very clear to him that I don’t want to get back together and things from the start of all this. He keeps telling me how he loves me and he wants us to get back together and he hasn’t been talking to anyone else or looking at any of these sites anymore in the last few months. Then the other night I see on his email when he left it open that he is still talking to a bunch of different girls off these sites and things. Still lien to me I really don’t care but don’t lie to me. I don’t lie to him if I am talking to someone or going to meet someone. I haven’t been but if I do or decide to I tell him. He still treats me and the kids like dirt and talks to the kids like dirt. He just gets on my nerves being around him. I haven’t said anything to him because we been at other peoples houses and things and he tries to hide it or keep it low key. I haven’t said anything I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything to keep the peace because we aren’t in our own place. Me and my friend were talking about it the other night. She said yeah I know I could tell and see what you mean. I can’t stand the idea of locking myself into a place with him for a year.

{January 2, 2013}   Didn’t Take The Place

And feel like shit. No good way to put it. I have been sick for over a week now and feel so freaken bad. One minute I’m sweating the next I am freezing I feel like my bones are cold. I know it all started from the smoke. Even though they smoke outside or in their room it is still all in the house. They smoke in here when we aren’t here. I can’t complain they are letting us stay here but I just want to feel better and the kids not to get sick.

We ended up not taking the place we were supposed to get Saturday I always check and this time I forgot to until that day we did everything so fast. When we looked there was a sex offender right in our backyard. I know you can’t get a way from them and the are every where. But I don’ t want to move in right next to one. I did once not knowing and had trouble with him why I was at home and my sister and kids were home. Taking pictures and things of them. They had to call the cops and basically there isn’t anything they can do. They can sit and watch them or take pictures or whatever. Unless they do something to one or try to they can’t say anything to them. Then I had one move in the house right behind me after I bought mine and that is when I had trouble with someone trying to come in my windows and letting my dog lose and watching us. I call the cops then and they seem to think the same thing I did by what was going on it was him also. They started watching him and things for a little bit and it stopped. But then as soon as they stopped watching so close it started again.

We took the place this guy could sit in his yard and watch them take pictures or whatever and there would be nothing I could do. They could never walk out in the yard and play alone at 7 an 9 they should be able to go in their own fenced in yard and play. But they couldn’t because he could be out there and talk to them or who knows what before they could come and tell me.

So we are still looking. I lot of people think we should take it and that we can’t get a way from them. I can’t get a way from them but I can move so that they aren’t in my back yard or next door to me. I know I could be moving in next to one that hasn’t been picked up yet that no one knows is one but I can’t help that. I can help if I move my kids in next to one knowing they are there. I watch my kids and get to know the people around me if I don’t like someone for some reason then I keep my kids from them.

I think the Realtor lady we were working with got mad about it also. But I’m sure she wouldn’t move her family in there either. I haven’t heard from her since we talked Saturday and told her we weren’t going to be able to take it. But hey one she showed us we wanted they went back and forth for two weeks to get answers about things. Then they turned us down.  This is the only one she has showed us that they said yes we could get and we passed on. I didn’t want to pass on it either we lost $60 for checks and things by passing. The one that turned us down we lost $50 on I think really we were supposed to get our money back on that one. But they didn’t offer and I didn’t ask. Why waiting on the one that took two weeks to get answers on we missed one we probably could have gotten. But she said oh they didn’t say no talking to them I think they are going to do it they just have to get everything in order.

et cetera
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