When I finally got into see my doctor for the baby the other month they always have new people fill out a healthy start form and turn into them. I had to tell them I didn’t have an address because I don’t I am staying with family and friends. Just wear-ever we can stay for a few days or week. I put the same thing on the paper for them they had me fill out.

Well I hadn’t heard anything back from them until today. They called and I had no clue who it was so I didn’t answer then they left a message and it was them so I called back. She said they got my information from the doctor and they knew a little bit about what was going on that she would like to come out and talk to me on Monday. I set up a time and things to talk to her. I told her that I had been staying with ex and that then what happen with the house. I told her that me and ex were trying to find a place together just to get the kids into a home somewhere and get things settled down for them but that I would really rather get a place on my own for me and the kids. I asked her about housing and things. She said they had information about that she would bring that too.

I am not sure housing is an option depending on where they have open. My friend got help from them and it isn’t good area’s they put you in at all. Her place got shot up on night with her and her kids inside. They came by and shot all the windows out. They think they were after the apartment next to her over drugs and things but it is one of theirs also. I know one or two places they have that aren’t bad but it just depends if they have anything open and if they will let us into those ones.

But I am 50 miles or so from the kids schools and they start back Tuesday. I have to do the finale walk threw on the other house on the 11th and have it cleaned up and the dogs out. I don’t know how long it will take her to help us get into somewhere and I don’t know if she does if we will be able to have the dogs. That is something we will have to worry about and cross when we get there. I have already had a melt down tonight when I talk to the kids about getting rid of the dogs.

Sometimes I think having things so stable and consistent for them all their life has done more harm than good. They are use to living in the same place the last 5 years. Probably the only place any of them can remember living. They were so little when we moved in. It is the only place my baby boy has lived other than over the summer for a few months and now. I feel so bad he keeps telling me mommy I want go home. I want hank or little dog. I had a melt down from the bigger two tonight talking about getting rid of even just the big dog. Most people don’t want her because of breed or weight.

I haven’t told ex that the lady is coming to talk to me yet I figure I just need to wait until I talk to her see what she has to offer how long it will take and what seems to be the best option after that. She said their goal is to get it so that me and the kids can be on our own. But being so far along and so close to my due date it may take a little while longer too because it will take longer to go back to work and things. The only other thing that may help to is the fact that my son gets SSI. That may get us help that we wouldn’t normally get or maybe faster than it normally would. I have never had to do all this before or deal with places like this before. But at this point I need some help to get back on my feet and get my kids a home. I have tried every thing I can think of and even trying to get a place with ex isn’t working because the rents are going up and up here because of tax time and things. It is about to the point we can’t afford anything together even.

I don’t feel bad for not telling him I have made it very clear to him that I don’t want to get back together and things from the start of all this. He keeps telling me how he loves me and he wants us to get back together and he hasn’t been talking to anyone else or looking at any of these sites anymore in the last few months. Then the other night I see on his email when he left it open that he is still talking to a bunch of different girls off these sites and things. Still lien to me I really don’t care but don’t lie to me. I don’t lie to him if I am talking to someone or going to meet someone. I haven’t been but if I do or decide to I tell him. He still treats me and the kids like dirt and talks to the kids like dirt. He just gets on my nerves being around him. I haven’t said anything to him because we been at other peoples houses and things and he tries to hide it or keep it low key. I haven’t said anything I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything to keep the peace because we aren’t in our own place. Me and my friend were talking about it the other night. She said yeah I know I could tell and see what you mean. I can’t stand the idea of locking myself into a place with him for a year.

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