{February 28, 2013}   Just To Vent

I have been going around with SSI over getting my sons check put on the card they want everyone to have by tomorrow for days now. I have been hung up on 4 times or more and still haven’t gotten to talk to a person. I talked to one guy for about a 1 minute why he kept telling me why I didn’t need to be calling him but somewhere else when he hadn’t even pulled the case up to look at it. When I finally get him to pull it up the call gets dropped. I am sure he had something to do with it and he could have called me back but didn’t. They have called my back before with no problem. I have other stuff I have to be at the library to take care of and can’t walk around talking to them on the phone or waiting on them to call me back. Not happy at all.

Then I sit down at my computer just now and notice that there are now 3 keys missing off the key board. One has been missing forever when I was with RC something happen it came off. I have it. The other day my kids never touched it but when they walked a way one was off and I am sure they have no clue where the one that is missing now is either. I have only used this computer for maybe 2 years if that. it has sat put up so it was like new. now it looks like shit.

I have been having contractions off and on all day but on for longer than I really should be and not that long off. I probably should have went to the ER already but haven’t. I am starting to feel sick with them, if it keeps up I am going to have to go over there and get checked out I think. I don’t think it is anything but haven’t really done anything but sleep lay around and relax all day. Nothing that would make me be having them and feeling like this. I was having them some when I woke up this morning. She is kicking her feet all around too so she seems to be ok. I am supposed to be doing the taxes and things and really don’t feel like it. I don’t even have all the info I need to do it and I have only been asking for it for a week now. I need that money back asap so I know what I can and can’t do this year that I need and want to get done.

Still haven’t heard anymore from RC his phone is still off so I am thinking she made him get a new number. My friend said she seen him go by her house the other day in the work truck. don’t know if he came by mine or not i was sleeping and didn’t get the message til later. The more I think about everything and how it all happen the madder I get. I am debating on sending him a message on facebook or writing something out and leaving it on his truck at work or taking it up to him. I would really rather talk to him in person. We see him out here and there all the time picking up tows and things my friend always wants to turn around and go back but we haven’t. I know if he is getting a tow he don’t really have time to talk. She said tell him to meet us after he is done somewhere but I just don’t know. I don’t know what I would say or where to even start. Really I don’t know that I am ready to know what he would say. I can’t even explain how I feel about it all right now. I feel very low and very lonely sad mad angry I just don’t really know right now. I just want to sit down and talk and I want him to tell me the truth about how he really feels and what he really wants. I think he won’t do that I think he is embarraced of everything that happen everything that is happening and the mess he has gotten into and he feels bad over his daughter and the other kids that are involved. Like I said before. Because of that I think he would just try to pass it all off as everything is fine and he is happy. He won’t come out and say he is happy when we were talking he would tell me and my friend when he was talking to her how things were and what was going on and you could just tell by talking to him or reading what he put that things were bad and it was really taking a toll on him. I seen pictures of him a month or so before my friend had found online and I said then he looked horrible and that things weren’t going good. But like I said I don’t think he is going to be 100% upfront and honest about things no matter what because a few times we were talking and I said something about things he would say life is good or my life is good i’m happy. but the way he said it and the things we were talking about when he did said different. Even my friends husband said he tried to say the samething to him after telling him all kinds of stuff and that he could tell he was just trying to cover what was going on or make it seem not that bad or like he said something let something out he didn’t mean to.

Well I am going to go for now. I have a ton of other stuff to do and only 2 more hours to fight with SSI before they close. Hope that I get someone that knows what is going on and can fix it and they put his money on the card in the morning or I am in trouble. It is going to cost me $100 and get me in trouble if it isn’t there tomorrow. Thank god I get it it helps more than ever but it is so hard and frustrating when you have to deal with them.

WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

Stay strong. Keep going. You will be beyond, one day.

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