Mr. Not So Shy has been sending me messages again here and there that last month or so. I don’t know what to think of him he will send me a random message here and there and we will talk. We might talk one night then I don’t hear from him again for days or a week. I hadn’t heard from him since before me and RC got together and he sent me those few messages. About a month or two ago it was late and I was online and he started talking to me. Mostly just hey how are you why you up so late and things. Then in little bit he said he was going to go to bed and try to get some sleep. Something got said and we ended up talking for almost two hours. He started telling me how he likes to sleep and how he needed a massage and what they normally lead into and things. Said he was pretty good at giving them and if I ever wanted to swap massages to let him know.

He started sending me massages again Saturday when I was at my friend watching the kids right before they came in. I came home and talk to him some more. he was talking about massages and things.  I asked him where we were going to do this and he said my house in my room lol. I said yeah that wouldn’t be good right now. He asked why I just said that is kind of complicated right now. He said oh we will have to figure something out. I figured he was going to ask why or what was wrong he may just figure because of the kids. I don’t want to get all into it online in messages. I figured I would explain if we ever did meet up.

I don’t know what I think about him really. I use to like him and would have been interested if me and ex weren’t together. he is really nice seems quiet and like a said shy. But I have heard he has been going through a lot the last few years and he wasn’t looking so good the last time I seen him about a year ago. Ex had said about 9 months ago he seen him he wasn’t looking good either. Let me explain that not talking about oh he looks good or he is hot. But that he looked like he was sick or something. I heard rumors that other things were going on. I just can’t see that from him but the way he looked I just don’t know. I seen him a month or so ago at the store I didn’t stop and talk to him he didn’t see me and he looked a lot better than he had been. But if he is dealing with things I don’t know that I want to get into that.

I am not even sure what he is really interested in if he just wants to be “friends” if he wants more or what. I think it also bothers me that he is younger than me and that he has no kids. I am not sure how much younger than me he is but I know it is at least 3 years and I am thinking more maybe. I don’t know why it bothers me that he don’t have kids and that he is younger than me. Maybe that’s why because he is young and don’t have any. I really am done and don’t want anymore and him being younger and not having any he may want kids and I don’t want anymore. I think he would be fine around mine and with them. He has been around my older two some when they were little and he knows I have them and that I have 4 now if he has been looking at my stuff online. I don’t hide it 🙂 . I said something about the baby a few times the other night when we were talking so he knows that I have one that is pretty little. He didn’t say anything about her or ask anything about her dad. He asked me before about ex and he knows that we aren’t together and haven’t been. That I was filing for divorce and waiting for it to go through court. he hasn’t asked me if that went through or anything about that either. I haven’t told him it isn’t done yet. I think that is part of the reason he stop talking before was it hadn’t been done yet and the fact that they called ex back about going to work maybe. Then shortly after that is when I met RC and we got together.

I think he really is interested in maybe more than just friends. I think he would have talked to me before if me and ex hadn’t been together of if something had happen back then but then we ended up getting married and thing. We use to always talk and joke around and things when I would be talking to ex on the phone or at the job site parties and things. But he is that way he wouldn’t have said anything knowing we were together. He wouldn’t try to get between someone like that. I wouldn’t have done it either because me and ex were together. And I respect him for that too.

I am supposed to be going out on the gambling boat in a couple weeks. My friend and a group of us girls. They are having the male review. We were supposed to be caught up and out of the jam we are in by then so I was going to go. i have a sitter set up and everything. Now I don’t think I am going to be able to go if me or ex don’t find a job in the next day or so. I may still take the baby to the sitter and see if he wants to get together for a while we can talk. Maybe I can see what he is really looking for and how things are.  I am going to say something to him about it when I talk to him again. i am sure I will hear from him in the next few nights.

I figure I am not sure what I want that is no secret  Lonely from my other post. I should at least talk to him and see what he is thinking and fill him in some on where I’m at. Part me feels he isn’t really interested and then part of me says maybe he wants more than just friends. I hate this whole dating and guys thing. Why does it have to be so complicated? Or is it again just me? I feel like I am all over the place with everything anymore.

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