I had to come and edit this post because it wasn’t supposed to have been published this morning when it was. I started writing it and kept falling asleep. I meant to save it as a draft but guess I didn’t. I hope now it makes a little more since than it did.
I don’t know what it is but the last few day / week why I have been in this funk I have felt like I need to just stop and pray random times of the day and night about many different random things. A lot of times it would be up in the night and the middle of the night I would be sitting here not able to sleep and I would just have this feeling like I needed to pray. Not just a little quick prayer but really pray and the really weird thing I felt I needed to pray for the kids all of them one at a time. I also felt this feeling that I needed to pray for RC a lot of nights. This very strong feeling that I needed to pray that i needed to pray right now there with the baby. She would already be asleep and I would just stand there by her little bed and hold her hand or put my hand on her and pray. I did every night for a while each night.
I don’t have a clue where he is or what is going on but I guess someone up stairs must think he needs prayers.
I would lay here on my bed after that and pray for the other kids and things that are going on. I don’t know why or what but maybe something is to come of it all. Even though I didn’t get to sleep until 3 and 4 am sometimes later I felt great in a few hours when I had to get up and start my day.