{September 9, 2013}   My Divorce Is Not Joke

I am tired of all the comments, remarks, cracks, and jokes everyone keeps making about me and ex. All I hear all the time from everyone is how we should get back together and we need to work things out. Or how I should just give him some how we are going to hook up and end up having another kid together and things. I have told them no it won’t ever happen and they say never say never and all this BS. They act like all the things that has happened between me and him is nothing or no big deal. They know a lot of what went on but they don’t know it all. They act like its funny when I say stuff. The other night I had heard enough of it from a friend of mine. I said I would rather be dead than think that I would have to spend the rest of my life with him. They still just laugh and go on talking about how he is and what he does and things like I’m joking. I told them too you couldn’t pay me no amount of money in this world to be with him. I don’t know what has to happen for them to know I am not joking and that this is nothing I find funny or feel like joking about. I know they really are joking and some really think that we should try to work it out. But when someone is telling you this stuff and they haven’t been together for years and the fact I have the baby by RC. Does that not show them I really mean what I say. And don’t they get that if you have no feelings for someone why would you want to be with them. My mom is the same way it just drives me nuts then on top of it all i have him telling me all the time how he wants another chance and how he wants me and shit. Then he hears them say this shit or joke about it to him it just gives him hope. Then he tells me everyone else thinks we should get back together and stuff. I really don’t want anything to do with him. I want to look at them and scream you think he is so great you get with him. let him do the things he has done to me to you time and time again and let him treat you the way he has me then tell me you want to get back with him. I know for a fact if they had been done the way I have and he done the things he has to me to them they wouldn’t have stayed as long as i did and they wouldn’t have moved back in into the situation I am in with him. They would be homeless and staying with people here there and ever where until they figured something out. But I put my kids first so I suck it up and live with it until I can get us out of the mess. It should tell them something when you flinch because they accidentally touch you. or your on edge all the time when they are around. It just bothers me that it like my feelings and things just don’t seem to matter to anyone. It’s always poor ex or he isn’t really that bad.

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