{January 8, 2014}   So Much Respect For

People who work in the medical field especially the RN’s, CNA’s, Tech’s and caregivers. The people who have the most hands on with the patients. It has been on my mind the last few days. They are jobs I couldn’t do.

My grandma is living with us she just came back my birthday. She hasn’t taken her meds since the first week of November or so and it is starting to really show. She of course thinks she don’t need it so she won’t take it. It has been very stressful. She thinks everyone is out to get her, they are trying to do stuff to her, watching her following her. She accuses us all of not wanting her here and doing stuff. She says it is all gang related. The other day she started on ex yelled at him that she closed her vent in her room. She swears that something is coming out of it and burning her skin. Other people sleep in the same room and under the same vent they are fine and there is nothing on her skin. But implied he open it over her bed and put something in it to burn her skin. Thats why she yelled it at him. She was accusing me of I don’t even remember what now she has a few times the last few days. All the while the kids are all sitting right there why this is all going on. It is driving me crazy. I don’t even want to be here and around her. She has been this way for a few years now. I have hardly went around her. They keep telling me how she is doing and how she is coming up with something this one or that one done all the time how she didn’t want no one to come over I just stayed away. I know she is sick and she needs the meds but I still can’t handle dealing with her when she won’t take them. Last night she was yelling and going on about something and just wouldn’t stop. My mom finally told her to hush and go to bed. She went up and laid down. If she hadn’t she wouldn’t have stopped she would have kept on.

She has od’d twice and threatening to leave now. We took all her meds the ones she takes she has to ask for and we give them to her when she needs them. It is such a mess. I think it is worse because my mom tries to tell her that what she is saying isn’t true and how it is and it becomes a argument. I just ignore her and let her ramble say what she wants and go on. The second time she od d they put her up there for a couple weeks or more. She keeps telling her that if she don’t take her meds like she is supposed to they are going to have to put her back in there.  Know arguing with her isn’t going to get anywhere rather she is right or wrong she thinks it is true and your aren’t going to change her mind. We are trying to see what we can do to make her take it but I know there really isn’t anything you can do if they don’t want to take it you can’t make her.

When she was at my house and taking it she was doing so good. She would play with the baby get on the floor and sit with her pick her up and do stuff with her for her. Now she don’t want to touch her afraid someone is going to say she hurt her or gave her something. she won’t hug or touch the other kids or play with them. She comes down stairs sits on this one kitchen chair and sits there all day. Have to tell  her to go eat and things. I go out of here right by or to the store everyday. She can get in the truck and go anytime she wants to or tell me what she wants and have me pick it up. I ask her everytime before I leave if she wants something or if she needs anything. Ask her every day what she wants for breakfast what she would like to have for dinner or any ideas for dinner. She says no no no or she don’t know or don’t care. Then telling us the other day she needs fruit and veggies and things to eat once in a while. Number one I make a veggie with dinner every night. There was fruit on the table and fruit in the fridge and there is stuff here to make two or three big saldes with all kinds of fresh veggies that she can eat anytime she wants. But then acts like we don’t keep food here or that what we do have she can’t eat because of this or that. She can cook she was cooking for everyone the last few months when she was at her house. So she could make herself something else if she didn’t like what we were having or if she told someone we could through it on cook it why we cooked everything else for everyone.

I hope she decides to start taking her meds again like she is supposed to here soon. If not I hope we find someone to talk to her and see if they can do something with her. Once she gets on the meds she will take it everyday and won’t argue with you if you give it to her and tell her to take it since she has to be given all her meds. She says she isn’t going to take meds the rest of her life. But she takes blood pressure pills and aspirin everyday. If she takes this one it will let her feel better and help her function not just sit around scared there is stuff wrong with her and that everyone is out to get her. My mom even told her how lucky she was that she could just take that pill and be happy how others can’t even take a pill and be ok they won’t ever be ok because they are just to far gone. She just looks at us. I don’t know please just pray something turns around soon. between that and the clicking and sounds my son is making all the time I feel so stressed. I know he is very stressed or he wouldn’t be making the sounds so loud and so much. he would be able to control it better when he isn’t.

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