Girl barley old enough to remember see’s mom and dad fight all the time. Dad come home drinking break the house up him and mommy get into fights. Things thrown stuff broken. Nothing to do but hide and wait for it to be done.

Daddy in and out of the house over the years. Never know if he will be staying at home or a way somewhere again. Either way how long will it last this time? To tell you the truth she don’t ever really remember having her dad there living in the house with them as a family. She knows he must have but it was always for such short times. No real memory of him ever being around.

Earliest memory is at about 6 and starting kindergarten. She was staying with her grandma and grandpa then. Not sure why or what was going on how her and her brother ended up pretty much living there. Her aunt would get her up and ready for school walk her to the end of the street to wait on the bus. Lot of days her dad would come over and see her help her with homework and have dinner. Then it would be bath and bed to do it all over again. When the weekends came was happy times because she got to go with her dad and spend time out and about finding things to do. She don’t remember seeing her mom much during that time that was spent with her grandma or going places on the weekends with her.

First grade she remember going to a different school and living back with her mom. She isn’t sure where they lived she thinks some apartments and that must have been a time her dad was there too. But she don’t really renumber much more than that. Second grade she was still with her mom most the time and going to the same school she went to first at. She wasn’t living the same place not even sure if her dad was around much. It is really odd it’s like her mind has blocked out a lot of her life up until she was in about 3rd grade. From about then on she remembers a lot.

3rd grade she was back at her grandma’s not seeing her mom much and mostly seeing her dad here and there. She was there for 4th grade too. She would go to her moms once in a while and stay but not to much. Then when she was in third grade her mom met someone new and they moved in. after that she got to go home and stay. She still got to go see her dad on the weekends when he wanted to be in the picture.

Life was fun with this new person mom met and brought home. They use to go fishing every day after school and work. They got a new brother and sister too. They were older he lived with them and she would come to see them. It was nice while it lasted but it wasn’t happy and fun for long. After a while they were fighting and things too. He would leave and be gone for days and weeks at a time. They moved around a lot. He was always in and out for years even after their sister was born. Then when she was in about 9th grade she guess he was gone for good. But all through the years it wasn’t just them fighting when everything would hit the fan for whatever reason she always got drug into it too. Her step dad would start on her and yell and scream at her for no reason. She didn’t care what they did or didn’t do she didn’t get in the middle of things it was none of her business what it was all about. But she wouldn’t take care of the baby and he didn’t like that. He felt she should so he didn’t have to. One time it did come to blows between them. she was sitting in the chair and he got up over her yelling in her face for asking a question when she  walked into the room and sat down. She told him to get out a few times and to move. He didn’t and she smacked him in the face. When she did he hit her on the leg. She was mad and came up swinging. She was punching him and telling him how she felt and that she was going to call her dad up there to take care of him.

See the girl never said anything to her dad at all about how things were at home. She hated the fighting she hated the fighting between her mom and stepdad and the fighting between her mom and dad the fighting between her and her mom and step dad. So to keep the peace and not have fighting she would just keep everything to her self. If her dad ever knew how her step dad talk to her he would have had a hold of him so fast. She also didn’t want no one to get in trouble for fighting.

The girl also growing up never told anyone anything that happen to her. She never told anyone how her mom would make fun of her mock her and call her names because she wasn’t as smart as her brother. She wasn’t a good speller or good in school. She use to be up until she hit about 7 th or 8 th grade. by the time she got to 9th and figure out how it all worked she really didn’t care. She would do what she had to to pass and that was it no more no less. If she didn’t she would go back and do the class over again. She never really failed because of grades the main reason she had to take a few classes over was because she didn’t go to school enough. That in itself was pretty surprising because school was her escape from home and her mom most the times. But she still wouldn’t go at times. Mom who knew nothing about how school and finishing worked always fight with her and told her she wouldn’t finish and that she wouldn’t finish with her class and things. Never tried to help or encourage her to do better and to finish. To tell you the truth she don’t think her mom really wanted her to finish. Even after she was grown her and her brother would make fun of her and treat her like she was less than a person. But she kept it all in and pushed it all away. Who would she tell what would they do? She knew other kids in worse situations than hers and no one cared about them enough to help them. What would make her any different?

Her mom had always taken her brothers side on things and treated him better. He could do no wrong and she was always the one in trouble. As she got older it just got worse. When she got a job her mom started making her pay so much a week out of her check for rent and bills. She paid for car insurance and couldn’t drive the car. She wasn’t allowed to have friends over or go to friends house most of her life. Working and paying bills she had to pay her half and her brothers because he wouldn’t get a job and pay. She would come home from work and find the kitchen trashed and told to clean it up since she wasn’t there to help cook dinner. It did no good to say she hadn’t eaten there either so why should she clean up their mess. It would just be another fight. Until one day she told them she didn’t care if the shit sat there and rotted she wasn’t cleaning nothing else up after their dinners lunch or anything else because she didn’t eat there she bought her own food and ate outside the house. Real soon after that she moved out. She was tired of being made fun off and told how stupid she was and what a horrible person she was.

People don’t realise that mental abuse is just as bad and sometimes worse than physical abuse.

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