My First Birth

I attended my first birth since becoming a doula for ever ago. It’s only been 5 years but it seems like forever ago. My sister had her sister had her baby Saturday morning after being in labor for over 24 hours. She text me at like 10 asking me what I was doing Friday morning and says her contractions were 5 minutes apart. She had been having them since about 7 in the morning. She has been 3 cm dialated for the last 3 weeks. I am her ride you would think she would have bothered to call me sooner. I had just went shopping for stuff for the kids teachers and stopped to get the little ones breakfast. I was headed home.

I had to take a shower get the teacher gifts put together take one all the way up to my oldest school and drop it off. Then get back pass my house the other direction about as far a way to pick up father of the year from work by 12. We had to be at my son’s end of year play by 1 across town back the other way.

I called and called looking for someone to pick up the little kids until 12 and then pick up father of the year and bring him to get my truck so he could take the kids and go to the end of year play. Out of everyone not one person could come watch the kids. I ended up having to take them with me. So here we go to the hospital with her and her husband, daughter me and two of my kids. We pulled up and I just gave them my keys to park the truck pulled everyone out and went inside.

They got us up to L & D but wouldn’t let any of the kids go back with her. They got her settled in and she was still only at 3 and contractions still coming every 5. I finally had to leave and go get father of the year from work so he could get the kids and go to the others school play. I didn’t go because we figured she would be having the baby anytime. Once we got back up there they had her in a room and we were allowed to go back.

She was having contractions but they weren’t painful or bothering her. She had asked them to get up and walk and they told her the baby’s heart rate was to high they wanted it to come down some. They were wanting to break her water since it hadn’t broke but she didn’t want them too. They told her that they would check her every two hours and wanted to break it in two if she hadn’t had him and things hadn’t picked up. They told her two hours after that they would hook her to pit if things weren’t moving along. The baby’s heart rate finally dropped to a good range and they let her get up and walk. When it was time to check her she had made it to 4 cm. They wanted to break her water she refused. Every time they checked her they were pushing to break her water. She was moving along at about 1 cm every two hours. Not bad if you ask me, and she still wasn’t having any pain. They checked and she was at 5 then 6. At 5 they said something again about breaking her water. She asked the nurse if she had to do it and she told her no they couldn’t make her have the baby. But it would speed things up. I said but it could slow things down and once the water is broke she is on a timetable to have the baby or have a csection right? And if it stalls they ware going to give her pit for sure to try and jump start things back up. She said well yeah that could happen too. But she never told her this and wasn’t going to. She acted like she didn’t like it that I told her and was saying anything. But they would if they aren’t I am going to say something. Someone new came in and checked her and she was at 6 and they told her the baby was sideways instead of being face up or face down. So that is probably why she wasn’t going faster than she had been. It is a good thing that they didn’t break her water as well because being sideways and the size he was she would have probably had problems delivering him. She stalled out at 7 cm and stayed there a few hours. Then the baby turned and things started to pick up a little bit again. But she still wasn’t having any pain or anything at all. If they broke her water she probably would have been in pain from that point on and things would have been slow because of the baby being sideways.

I was in the wating room with friends and family who came and was waiting because she wanted us to go out so she could sleep some. When about 6:30/7 the nurse came down to the waiting room and said she wants you all to come back in now. There was three of us there. When we got back in her room she was sitting up on the side of the bed and you coud tell she was in some pain. She said her water just broke and the contractions were getting hard and picking up more. By 8:12 am she had the bay.

She would have had him sooner but they keep telling her to wait and not to push because there was a little lip of the cervix still in the way. But if she had told them she had to push and couldn’t stop they would have tried to move it when she was pushing. But they had her scared into thinking she was going to rip horrible if she tried to push a little bit. Then at the end the doctor came in and did just that helped move it up when she was pushing and then let her have him.

He was 8 lbs 12 oz 19 1/4 in with a full head of hair. He was a little more jumpy than they like so they took him to the nursery to check him out a little more. But they gave him right to her to start with and let her try to feed him. They cleaned him all off right there with him laying on her and things. Then they wrapped him up and brought him back to her and laid him with her for a little bit before they took him away.

I had my first at that hospital because I had to and when to the other hospital with my last three and I am so glad I did because they are way behind the other hospital in the things they have for mom and how they care for her. I am glad she had a great doctor even though she wanted to break the water and things she didn’t tell her they had to because of this and that. Unlike the midwife I had when I was there in labor who lied to me and everything else.

I wasn’t sure really how I would like to be there helping other women when they were giving birth when I took my doula class. I took it more for my knowledge than anything else so that I could be more prepared when I had my other kids. I wasn’t sure if I would want to be in there and see all of it. I had never been at a birth other than when I had my own kids and that is way different. But I think I would like it. I am a little rusty when it comes to some stuff and didn’t do a lot because she never had any pain until the last hour or so. She just wanted him to rub her back. She didn’t really want to try anything else. But I think it is something if I had a sitter I would like to do and would be good at. The nurses were even saying it was creepy and spooky how she was moving along and never had any pain until the end and how fast it was all over.

Roxy and Trevor

I finally got my mothers day gift this weekend. I didn’t get it mothers day because I had to decide what I wanted and the kind of set up I wanted. I found a nice glass 5 gallon tank online and got it last week. Sunday me and the two older kids went to the pet shop and got the frogs.


I talked to the guy there and he said basically all I needed was to put them in a tank with spring water and they would do great. Thats what I done, so far they are doing good. They didn’t eat last night but probably from being moved and in a new place. Today they have been active. They have been swimming around the tank hiding in the pots and around them and exploring. I don’t have a lot in the tank. I got one live plant a couple of the small terracotta flower pots and the bases to sit them on. The posts to hide in and the bases to put their food on to feed them. This way it don’t get in the rocks and they have a hard time finding it.


The kids were trying to pick out names for them and boy did they come up with some names. They wanted to give on my dad’s name and one baby girl’s dad’s name. R.C’s name. But they don’t really know R.C by his first name because all his friends and family call him by his middle name. Only time he goes by his first name is at work. I don’t think they really thought of it. I asked them why they picked them two names they just said because they go together.

I am not 100% sure but I think I picked out a male and a female. It is really hard to tell by looking at them and in the tank at the store. I didn’t even think they had any until I asked the guy. I he reach into the fish tank a moved this little thing they had in there and they all scattered around the tank. They were in the back. I know that the males are smaller than the females. There were two left sitting together in the corner one was bigger than the other so I took them two. I figured they were together and stayed together they would get along pretty good in the tank. I am hoping since one was larger than the other they are mates and not the same. One could be younger but guessing they are the same age.

I named them Roxy and Trevor. I don’t know why it came to me the other day when I was thinking about names. I liked Roxy and Trevor off of the show Army Wives. I have looked at other names and tried to come up with two I like but haven’t really found any. I liked freckle but I don’t know what name I would put with it for a boy.

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SSI Appointment

I got a lovely letter in the mail Friday informing me that I needed to be at their office bright and early this morning for a appointment for my son. I got us all ready and was trying to get the babies bottle ready and find papers I thought were in the folder. I heard the baby crying so I went to look for her. She was standing by her bed pointing to get in. I had to pick her up and take her to the truck instead. She got very upset. She was tired and wanted to go to bed. We got there and ended up having to wait for 20 minutes or more even though we got there before the doors open and we were first to be seen on the list of appointments. By the time we got back there she was well beyond unhappy. She started crying and fighting I had to stand up to try to hold her and keep her from getting down. The lady looked at me and said you want me to do you a huge favor. I was like yeah sure what is it. She gave me back all my papers and told me to take her home and let her go to bed. She said she was going to call me and do everything by phone. I told her I was sorry but that I don’t have a baby sitter and things. She said I should have called her and told her I didn’t have a sitter and that she could have changed it to a phone interview.

She said when I was there my case was a mess and that it was going to take a while. When she called me she said that they didn’t show where father of the year was staying with us or that I had even had the baby. I don’t know what all she has went through it and fixed a bunch of stuff and we fixed some. She is sending me a copy and helping me with his case because I told her it was up for review. I told her how rude the lady was and that she hadn’t really read the report and laughed at me about my son and things.

She even said autism don’t just go away and that she has seen them deny people that should have clearly gotten help. She told me that she handles all the appeals for this office and to just do what they have me do. She said if he gets denied to call her right a way and turn in the paper work for the appeal right a way. She said I have 60 days to do it but that if I do it with in the first 10 I will still get his check until they decide. If it goes past 10 then he won’t get anything till they decide again.

Like I told her he is doing good in school but he is in a school that is for kids like him. The teacher can sit down and work more one on one with him and things. I have to talk to them at his school because the lady over the school told me he was on level and now I am finding out that he is a year behind. But that isn’t what she put on the report. She told them he was up to where he was supposed to be as well. I didn’t know this until the other day or I could have been working with him and helping him get on track better. So I maybe finding him a different school by next year as well. She has no reason to tell me that he is on grade leve if he isn’t. Only reason I could think of is because she is affraid I would take him out if he wasn’t. But I wouldn’t have. I like the school and thought they were doing good and keeping me informed. But I guesss not. I will look for somewhere new because I need to know what is going on with my kid and what he is and isn’t doing. I don’t like the fact I was lied to. What else are they covering up or lien about.

So Tired

I don’t know what is wrong with me it seems no matter how little or how much sleep I get I can’t hold my eye’s open. I went to bed at around 11 last night and I am sitting here fighting with everything in me to stay awake with the kids. I didn’t get up until 7. I don’t remember getting up last night at all. I do remember dreaming some crazy dream.

The other night I went to bed at 9 and was up and down all night. About the time I would just start to get to sleep good I would wake up. Then I woke up with the acid killing me and not being able to sleep. I want to take a nap but the kids are playing and my big boy gets off the bus in 45 minutes. I hope that once I get him and get home I can lay baby girl down and take a nap for a little bit until my big girl gets off the bus. The boys will play or watch a movie. If I get lucky baby boy will take a nap too but that is probably just wishful thinking. But I can trust them to stay in not get into anything or answer the door.

I just wish I knew what was making me stay so sleepy all the time. I have even started taking vitamins but they don’t seem to be helping. They use to help and work good. I have not been this tired and this bad since I was pregnant with my first other than the time I had mono. I am starting to wonder if the mono isn’t coming back. But I don’t have any other symptoms.

I guess I am going to have to just suck it up and find a doctor and go get somethings taken care of. I hate going to the doctor because I have to take at least two if not all the kids with me. I hate having to sit there and wait for ever and a day to be seen. Like I don’t have other things I need to do with my time I have forever and a day to sit there and wait for the doctor to see me. I know they don’t mind because they are getting paid for their time but I’m not and have a thousand and one other things I need to be doing at any given time. But I can’t keep being this way.

If you got this far that’s my rant, whine, vent, or cry for the day. Thanks for listening well reading if you got this far.

Just A Blah Day

It’s just been one of those day, as if the lace weren’t bad enough the dog has gotten lose and I had to chase her down. I haven’t been feeling good since sometime up in the night. I woke up with acid from the reflux coming up. Probably TMI but I have been spotting for over a week and feeling like crap from that today. I don’t know why I am I did the same thing last month for a while as well. I know there is no chance in Hell that I’m not pregnant but no clue what is causing it. I have never done it before. Not like I have a doctor or time to go to one if I did have. I really don’t feel like going to a doctor for anything like that right now.

Money has been a mess we had two bills that didn’t get paid because he just didn’t have it this last check. He will get paid again Friday and we will have to pay them. I don’t think he is going to have enough to pay on the rent when it comes up due. That means it will take everything I get the first of the month to pay it and I will have no money again until the first without asking him for it. I hate asking him for money.

I told a friend I would take her about an hour a way to pick something up. When I say something to him about it he has a fit because of the tires on my truck he says is really bad. I have no money right now to buy new ones. I don’t even have money right now to buy used ones for that matter. I looked at them today I was trying to get the size off of them to see if a friend could get me some. The one has a plug in it and it just happen to be the one I looked at to get the size. It isn’t good the tire is splitting down around and away from the plug. I am more worried about that than the rest of them. I have to pray it stays together for the next week and that I can find a few decent used one to put on it. Best of all it is on the front of the truck. Not a great spot for it seeing that I won’t be able to steer it if it does blow.

Father of the year has been a huge ass the last week or more. He has pretty much refused to help with things around the house and then wants to bitch because stuff isn’t done or getting done. Last Night we had frozen pizza’s for dinner. He left for a call and was gone hours on other calls. He don’t have his phone right now so I had no clue where he was if or when he would be home. I still got him pizza. He got home about the time the kids were getting done and going to bed. I was taking care of stuff with them and doing other stuff. He pitched a huge two year old fit because I didn’t cook his pizza and about the kitchen being a mess. I cook just about every night, I get the kids on the bus, run around to two schools to pick them both up early on Tuesdays to have my big boy to therapy for an hour and take all the kids with me. I then pick big boy up early from school on Wednesday so that the other therapist can come here to the house and see him for an hour. I am also the one who takes them all to ball practice three times a week, and stars and get them from the bus everyday that I don’t pick them up early. I still find time to cook get baths, homework, rooms picked up, make sure they have all their stuff for ball clean and uniforms for school make sure the floors get mopped and vacuumed and everything else around the house done.

He wants to cry because he washes dishes at night, does a load of clothes maybe once or twice a week and cleans up the playroom now and then. If he is being nice he may make dinner on his night off or if he is off on the weekend. He acts as if I should just pick up and clean up after him like we are still married or together. He whines and complains that he can’t handle what all he has to do and all this just overwhelms him and he don’t feel good and is SO stressed from it all. But this is the man that wants split custody and wants them all the time to do everything for them by himself and work 24 hour shifts for days at a time why he has them. If he can’t do the few things now to help with them how does he think he is going to do it when it is just him? I still haven’t been told how he plans to go on calls when he has them and has no one there to watch them.

I have been very aggravated with it all and on top of not feeling good I have just let a lot go this week. Was going to get it caught up today and then found this lice mess and been dealing with it. Just like that I have asked him over and over to please help me with it because it is hard for me to see them and the eggs because of my eyes. He says ok has her sit down and then sits there and goes to sleep or whines he can’t pick them out his fingers are to big he can’t get a hold of them blah blah blah bullshit because he don’t want to do it. But then bitches because now the other kids have it. I have picked and picked it and gotten what I can see. I just need him to get anything I may have missed. I have asked over and over on his days off weekends off even he just ignores it. But then bitches because everything else isn’t getting done or whatever.

I should be cooking dinner now and getting the kids baths and heads finished. I still have sheets and blankets to wash and animals to dry but I am taking a break because I am hurting and feeling sick to my stomach.

Lice Again

I found that my oldest had lice yet again so I have been treating her hair the last few days. Today my big boy comes to me and says I’m itching will you check my head. I say sure thinking I am going to find nothing. His and his brothers hair is bussed pretty short. Low and behold I find three in his hair. I hold my baby boy down and look at his and find 2 questionable things. They were really tiny so I wasn’t sure if they were or not. I just treated all. We are drying the two tons of stuffed animals they have and washing all the beds. cleaning everything else in the house. Because they sit and lay all over each others beds and play with all the toys and have the run of the house of course.

I am so ready to hold my daughter down and shave her head to get rid of these things. She has them worse than ever and I just can’t seem to get rid of them. She keeps saying now. I told her we could get her a wig but she still says no. She did say we can cut it short into a bob. I really hate to do that and hate bobs but I might have to do it to get rid of the lice once and for all.

We are supposed to go house sit for a friend a few days after school gets out and everything. I have to have them all gone by then so she don’t get them in her house. No one else has caught them from her so far other than the boys. I want to keep it that way.

The schools don’t check for it anymore they say it isn’t a health risk and that the kids can be in school with it. She said the other week the kids were even talking about how bad it was at the school and people getting it. I just pray that I get this scholor ship and can get her in a private school next year. Because this is crazy with her not being able to get rid of it and keep it gone. Just about every month since she started school she has had it.

More Test

I have had doctors appointments and lab test done with my big boy the last few weeks. I took him to check his horrible cough he had had them check his sugar why he was there. His sugar was 84 and they say that is good. then the doctor sent him for more blood work at the lab I didn’t even know she was going to do. She had his thyroid and I am not sure what all tested.

We went last week and got the results and they are all good. Still not sure what is going on. his therapist wants to take gluten out of his diet. I told her that why we were there for the other results and she sent him for more test. This time they are testing for Celiacs disease and doing a food cap test. We go back for the results of the two of them this week. Figure we will go Tuesday when I have to be up that way already.

I need to go get tested for this one myself the more I read about it I have a lot of the signs that they give you to watch for. If he has it I am going to go for sure and get seen. It is going to be a big change taking out the gluten in our diet if one or both of us have it. But if we do maybe it will help him some with school and his other stuff he has going on.

I am guessing that the eating 24/7 is just him growing since his other test came back alright. He will eat a 3 lb bag of apples, breakfast, lunch, dinner and other snacks through out the day. He will eat as long as I let him, if I tell him no he is back in just a few minutes asking again and for something else. Then cries he is hungry.

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