{May 26, 2014}   My First Birth

I attended my first birth since becoming a doula for ever ago. It’s only been 5 years but it seems like forever ago. My sister had her sister had her baby Saturday morning after being in labor for over 24 hours. She text me at like 10 asking me what I was doing Friday morning and says her contractions were 5 minutes apart. She had been having them since about 7 in the morning. She has been 3 cm dialated for the last 3 weeks. I am her ride you would think she would have bothered to call me sooner. I had just went shopping for stuff for the kids teachers and stopped to get the little ones breakfast. I was headed home.

I had to take a shower get the teacher gifts put together take one all the way up to my oldest school and drop it off. Then get back pass my house the other direction about as far a way to pick up father of the year from work by 12. We had to be at my son’s end of year play by 1 across town back the other way.

I called and called looking for someone to pick up the little kids until 12 and then pick up father of the year and bring him to get my truck so he could take the kids and go to the end of year play. Out of everyone not one person could come watch the kids. I ended up having to take them with me. So here we go to the hospital with her and her husband, daughter me and two of my kids. We pulled up and I just gave them my keys to park the truck pulled everyone out and went inside.

They got us up to L & D but wouldn’t let any of the kids go back with her. They got her settled in and she was still only at 3 and contractions still coming every 5. I finally had to leave and go get father of the year from work so he could get the kids and go to the others school play. I didn’t go because we figured she would be having the baby anytime. Once we got back up there they had her in a room and we were allowed to go back.

She was having contractions but they weren’t painful or bothering her. She had asked them to get up and walk and they told her the baby’s heart rate was to high they wanted it to come down some. They were wanting to break her water since it hadn’t broke but she didn’t want them too. They told her that they would check her every two hours and wanted to break it in two if she hadn’t had him and things hadn’t picked up. They told her two hours after that they would hook her to pit if things weren’t moving along. The baby’s heart rate finally dropped to a good range and they let her get up and walk. When it was time to check her she had made it to 4 cm. They wanted to break her water she refused. Every time they checked her they were pushing to break her water. She was moving along at about 1 cm every two hours. Not bad if you ask me, and she still wasn’t having any pain. They checked and she was at 5 then 6. At 5 they said something again about breaking her water. She asked the nurse if she had to do it and she told her no they couldn’t make her have the baby. But it would speed things up. I said but it could slow things down and once the water is broke she is on a timetable to have the baby or have a csection right? And if it stalls they ware going to give her pit for sure to try and jump start things back up. She said well yeah that could happen too. But she never told her this and wasn’t going to. She acted like she didn’t like it that I told her and was saying anything. But they would if they aren’t I am going to say something. Someone new came in and checked her and she was at 6 and they told her the baby was sideways instead of being face up or face down. So that is probably why she wasn’t going faster than she had been. It is a good thing that they didn’t break her water as well because being sideways and the size he was she would have probably had problems delivering him. She stalled out at 7 cm and stayed there a few hours. Then the baby turned and things started to pick up a little bit again. But she still wasn’t having any pain or anything at all. If they broke her water she probably would have been in pain from that point on and things would have been slow because of the baby being sideways.

I was in the wating room with friends and family who came and was waiting because she wanted us to go out so she could sleep some. When about 6:30/7 the nurse came down to the waiting room and said she wants you all to come back in now. There was three of us there. When we got back in her room she was sitting up on the side of the bed and you coud tell she was in some pain. She said her water just broke and the contractions were getting hard and picking up more. By 8:12 am she had the bay.

She would have had him sooner but they keep telling her to wait and not to push because there was a little lip of the cervix still in the way. But if she had told them she had to push and couldn’t stop they would have tried to move it when she was pushing. But they had her scared into thinking she was going to rip horrible if she tried to push a little bit. Then at the end the doctor came in and did just that helped move it up when she was pushing and then let her have him.

He was 8 lbs 12 oz 19 1/4 in with a full head of hair. He was a little more jumpy than they like so they took him to the nursery to check him out a little more. But they gave him right to her to start with and let her try to feed him. They cleaned him all off right there with him laying on her and things. Then they wrapped him up and brought him back to her and laid him with her for a little bit before they took him away.

I had my first at that hospital because I had to and when to the other hospital with my last three and I am so glad I did because they are way behind the other hospital in the things they have for mom and how they care for her. I am glad she had a great doctor even though she wanted to break the water and things she didn’t tell her they had to because of this and that. Unlike the midwife I had when I was there in labor who lied to me and everything else.

I wasn’t sure really how I would like to be there helping other women when they were giving birth when I took my doula class. I took it more for my knowledge than anything else so that I could be more prepared when I had my other kids. I wasn’t sure if I would want to be in there and see all of it. I had never been at a birth other than when I had my own kids and that is way different. But I think I would like it. I am a little rusty when it comes to some stuff and didn’t do a lot because she never had any pain until the last hour or so. She just wanted him to rub her back. She didn’t really want to try anything else. But I think it is something if I had a sitter I would like to do and would be good at. The nurses were even saying it was creepy and spooky how she was moving along and never had any pain until the end and how fast it was all over.

{May 26, 2014}   Roxy and Trevor

I finally got my mothers day gift this weekend. I didn’t get it mothers day because I had to decide what I wanted and the kind of set up I wanted. I found a nice glass 5 gallon tank online and got it last week. Sunday me and the two older kids went to the pet shop and got the frogs.


I talked to the guy there and he said basically all I needed was to put them in a tank with spring water and they would do great. Thats what I done, so far they are doing good. They didn’t eat last night but probably from being moved and in a new place. Today they have been active. They have been swimming around the tank hiding in the pots and around them and exploring. I don’t have a lot in the tank. I got one live plant a couple of the small terracotta flower pots and the bases to sit them on. The posts to hide in and the bases to put their food on to feed them. This way it don’t get in the rocks and they have a hard time finding it.


The kids were trying to pick out names for them and boy did they come up with some names. They wanted to give on my dad’s name and one baby girl’s dad’s name. R.C’s name. But they don’t really know R.C by his first name because all his friends and family call him by his middle name. Only time he goes by his first name is at work. I don’t think they really thought of it. I asked them why they picked them two names they just said because they go together.

I am not 100% sure but I think I picked out a male and a female. It is really hard to tell by looking at them and in the tank at the store. I didn’t even think they had any until I asked the guy. I he reach into the fish tank a moved this little thing they had in there and they all scattered around the tank. They were in the back. I know that the males are smaller than the females. There were two left sitting together in the corner one was bigger than the other so I took them two. I figured they were together and stayed together they would get along pretty good in the tank. I am hoping since one was larger than the other they are mates and not the same. One could be younger but guessing they are the same age.

I named them Roxy and Trevor. I don’t know why it came to me the other day when I was thinking about names. I liked Roxy and Trevor off of the show Army Wives. I have looked at other names and tried to come up with two I like but haven’t really found any. I liked freckle but I don’t know what name I would put with it for a boy.

CAM04122  CAM04126

{May 20, 2014}   SSI Appointment

I got a lovely letter in the mail Friday informing me that I needed to be at their office bright and early this morning for a appointment for my son. I got us all ready and was trying to get the babies bottle ready and find papers I thought were in the folder. I heard the baby crying so I went to look for her. She was standing by her bed pointing to get in. I had to pick her up and take her to the truck instead. She got very upset. She was tired and wanted to go to bed. We got there and ended up having to wait for 20 minutes or more even though we got there before the doors open and we were first to be seen on the list of appointments. By the time we got back there she was well beyond unhappy. She started crying and fighting I had to stand up to try to hold her and keep her from getting down. The lady looked at me and said you want me to do you a huge favor. I was like yeah sure what is it. She gave me back all my papers and told me to take her home and let her go to bed. She said she was going to call me and do everything by phone. I told her I was sorry but that I don’t have a baby sitter and things. She said I should have called her and told her I didn’t have a sitter and that she could have changed it to a phone interview.

She said when I was there my case was a mess and that it was going to take a while. When she called me she said that they didn’t show where father of the year was staying with us or that I had even had the baby. I don’t know what all she has went through it and fixed a bunch of stuff and we fixed some. She is sending me a copy and helping me with his case because I told her it was up for review. I told her how rude the lady was and that she hadn’t really read the report and laughed at me about my son and things.

She even said autism don’t just go away and that she has seen them deny people that should have clearly gotten help. She told me that she handles all the appeals for this office and to just do what they have me do. She said if he gets denied to call her right a way and turn in the paper work for the appeal right a way. She said I have 60 days to do it but that if I do it with in the first 10 I will still get his check until they decide. If it goes past 10 then he won’t get anything till they decide again.

Like I told her he is doing good in school but he is in a school that is for kids like him. The teacher can sit down and work more one on one with him and things. I have to talk to them at his school because the lady over the school told me he was on level and now I am finding out that he is a year behind. But that isn’t what she put on the report. She told them he was up to where he was supposed to be as well. I didn’t know this until the other day or I could have been working with him and helping him get on track better. So I maybe finding him a different school by next year as well. She has no reason to tell me that he is on grade leve if he isn’t. Only reason I could think of is because she is affraid I would take him out if he wasn’t. But I wouldn’t have. I like the school and thought they were doing good and keeping me informed. But I guesss not. I will look for somewhere new because I need to know what is going on with my kid and what he is and isn’t doing. I don’t like the fact I was lied to. What else are they covering up or lien about.

{May 19, 2014}   So Tired

I don’t know what is wrong with me it seems no matter how little or how much sleep I get I can’t hold my eye’s open. I went to bed at around 11 last night and I am sitting here fighting with everything in me to stay awake with the kids. I didn’t get up until 7. I don’t remember getting up last night at all. I do remember dreaming some crazy dream.

The other night I went to bed at 9 and was up and down all night. About the time I would just start to get to sleep good I would wake up. Then I woke up with the acid killing me and not being able to sleep. I want to take a nap but the kids are playing and my big boy gets off the bus in 45 minutes. I hope that once I get him and get home I can lay baby girl down and take a nap for a little bit until my big girl gets off the bus. The boys will play or watch a movie. If I get lucky baby boy will take a nap too but that is probably just wishful thinking. But I can trust them to stay in not get into anything or answer the door.

I just wish I knew what was making me stay so sleepy all the time. I have even started taking vitamins but they don’t seem to be helping. They use to help and work good. I have not been this tired and this bad since I was pregnant with my first other than the time I had mono. I am starting to wonder if the mono isn’t coming back. But I don’t have any other symptoms.

I guess I am going to have to just suck it up and find a doctor and go get somethings taken care of. I hate going to the doctor because I have to take at least two if not all the kids with me. I hate having to sit there and wait for ever and a day to be seen. Like I don’t have other things I need to do with my time I have forever and a day to sit there and wait for the doctor to see me. I know they don’t mind because they are getting paid for their time but I’m not and have a thousand and one other things I need to be doing at any given time. But I can’t keep being this way.

If you got this far that’s my rant, whine, vent, or cry for the day. Thanks for listening well reading if you got this far.

{May 18, 2014}   Just A Blah Day

It’s just been one of those day, as if the lace weren’t bad enough the dog has gotten lose and I had to chase her down. I haven’t been feeling good since sometime up in the night. I woke up with acid from the reflux coming up. Probably TMI but I have been spotting for over a week and feeling like crap from that today. I don’t know why I am I did the same thing last month for a while as well. I know there is no chance in Hell that I’m not pregnant but no clue what is causing it. I have never done it before. Not like I have a doctor or time to go to one if I did have. I really don’t feel like going to a doctor for anything like that right now.

Money has been a mess we had two bills that didn’t get paid because he just didn’t have it this last check. He will get paid again Friday and we will have to pay them. I don’t think he is going to have enough to pay on the rent when it comes up due. That means it will take everything I get the first of the month to pay it and I will have no money again until the first without asking him for it. I hate asking him for money.

I told a friend I would take her about an hour a way to pick something up. When I say something to him about it he has a fit because of the tires on my truck he says is really bad. I have no money right now to buy new ones. I don’t even have money right now to buy used ones for that matter. I looked at them today I was trying to get the size off of them to see if a friend could get me some. The one has a plug in it and it just happen to be the one I looked at to get the size. It isn’t good the tire is splitting down around and away from the plug. I am more worried about that than the rest of them. I have to pray it stays together for the next week and that I can find a few decent used one to put on it. Best of all it is on the front of the truck. Not a great spot for it seeing that I won’t be able to steer it if it does blow.

Father of the year has been a huge ass the last week or more. He has pretty much refused to help with things around the house and then wants to bitch because stuff isn’t done or getting done. Last Night we had frozen pizza’s for dinner. He left for a call and was gone hours on other calls. He don’t have his phone right now so I had no clue where he was if or when he would be home. I still got him pizza. He got home about the time the kids were getting done and going to bed. I was taking care of stuff with them and doing other stuff. He pitched a huge two year old fit because I didn’t cook his pizza and about the kitchen being a mess. I cook just about every night, I get the kids on the bus, run around to two schools to pick them both up early on Tuesdays to have my big boy to therapy for an hour and take all the kids with me. I then pick big boy up early from school on Wednesday so that the other therapist can come here to the house and see him for an hour. I am also the one who takes them all to ball practice three times a week, and stars and get them from the bus everyday that I don’t pick them up early. I still find time to cook get baths, homework, rooms picked up, make sure they have all their stuff for ball clean and uniforms for school make sure the floors get mopped and vacuumed and everything else around the house done.

He wants to cry because he washes dishes at night, does a load of clothes maybe once or twice a week and cleans up the playroom now and then. If he is being nice he may make dinner on his night off or if he is off on the weekend. He acts as if I should just pick up and clean up after him like we are still married or together. He whines and complains that he can’t handle what all he has to do and all this just overwhelms him and he don’t feel good and is SO stressed from it all. But this is the man that wants split custody and wants them all the time to do everything for them by himself and work 24 hour shifts for days at a time why he has them. If he can’t do the few things now to help with them how does he think he is going to do it when it is just him? I still haven’t been told how he plans to go on calls when he has them and has no one there to watch them.

I have been very aggravated with it all and on top of not feeling good I have just let a lot go this week. Was going to get it caught up today and then found this lice mess and been dealing with it. Just like that I have asked him over and over to please help me with it because it is hard for me to see them and the eggs because of my eyes. He says ok has her sit down and then sits there and goes to sleep or whines he can’t pick them out his fingers are to big he can’t get a hold of them blah blah blah bullshit because he don’t want to do it. But then bitches because now the other kids have it. I have picked and picked it and gotten what I can see. I just need him to get anything I may have missed. I have asked over and over on his days off weekends off even he just ignores it. But then bitches because everything else isn’t getting done or whatever.

I should be cooking dinner now and getting the kids baths and heads finished. I still have sheets and blankets to wash and animals to dry but I am taking a break because I am hurting and feeling sick to my stomach.

{May 18, 2014}   Lice Again

I found that my oldest had lice yet again so I have been treating her hair the last few days. Today my big boy comes to me and says I’m itching will you check my head. I say sure thinking I am going to find nothing. His and his brothers hair is bussed pretty short. Low and behold I find three in his hair. I hold my baby boy down and look at his and find 2 questionable things. They were really tiny so I wasn’t sure if they were or not. I just treated all. We are drying the two tons of stuffed animals they have and washing all the beds. cleaning everything else in the house. Because they sit and lay all over each others beds and play with all the toys and have the run of the house of course.

I am so ready to hold my daughter down and shave her head to get rid of these things. She has them worse than ever and I just can’t seem to get rid of them. She keeps saying now. I told her we could get her a wig but she still says no. She did say we can cut it short into a bob. I really hate to do that and hate bobs but I might have to do it to get rid of the lice once and for all.

We are supposed to go house sit for a friend a few days after school gets out and everything. I have to have them all gone by then so she don’t get them in her house. No one else has caught them from her so far other than the boys. I want to keep it that way.

The schools don’t check for it anymore they say it isn’t a health risk and that the kids can be in school with it. She said the other week the kids were even talking about how bad it was at the school and people getting it. I just pray that I get this scholor ship and can get her in a private school next year. Because this is crazy with her not being able to get rid of it and keep it gone. Just about every month since she started school she has had it.

{May 18, 2014}   More Test

I have had doctors appointments and lab test done with my big boy the last few weeks. I took him to check his horrible cough he had had them check his sugar why he was there. His sugar was 84 and they say that is good. then the doctor sent him for more blood work at the lab I didn’t even know she was going to do. She had his thyroid and I am not sure what all tested.

We went last week and got the results and they are all good. Still not sure what is going on. his therapist wants to take gluten out of his diet. I told her that why we were there for the other results and she sent him for more test. This time they are testing for Celiacs disease and doing a food cap test. We go back for the results of the two of them this week. Figure we will go Tuesday when I have to be up that way already.

I need to go get tested for this one myself the more I read about it I have a lot of the signs that they give you to watch for. If he has it I am going to go for sure and get seen. It is going to be a big change taking out the gluten in our diet if one or both of us have it. But if we do maybe it will help him some with school and his other stuff he has going on.

I am guessing that the eating 24/7 is just him growing since his other test came back alright. He will eat a 3 lb bag of apples, breakfast, lunch, dinner and other snacks through out the day. He will eat as long as I let him, if I tell him no he is back in just a few minutes asking again and for something else. Then cries he is hungry.

Yesterday I was siting here after I got back from the bus watching the kids play. I got a phone call from my friend J wanting to know if everything was alright and if my sister was having her baby. I told her not that I knew of and that if she was I would know. Her husband works with my brother that I do not talk to or get along with. She said that my brother came in or called in to work and said that my sister was in labor and that she had a really hard labor last time and didn’t stop bleeding and he needed off because he wanted to be there. That did happen last time but if she was having the baby I would have been one of the first ones they would have called. She don’t have a car and my mom was scared it may happen again and she always calls me.

Wanting to just check and see what was going on I called my sister she said no she had just got done eating breakfast and was laying down. She was to go to the doctor that afternoon. I told her what he done and had said. She wasn’t very surprised didn’t really say anything. She said she hadn’t talk to him since about the 12th of last month.

This is not the first lie he has told them at work and has everyone letting him off early or leave early every night. He told them his son was really sick and has all these problems and he needs off all the time. Something happen to him and he has some learning problems and things kind of like autism but it isn’t because they can see when they test on the brain that something happen. He told them his wife has a job and he has to be home every night by 6 to watch him and all this. He has a daughter that is like 16 and my dad is there. They left him with the daughter all the time when he was younger and she was a lot younger as well. There is no reason he couldn’t stay there with her and my dad for a couple hours why he worked in the evening. He told them he had no one to watch him, I know my dad wouldn’t care. He has offered to watch my kids for me. He just can’t keep up with my little ones but with her there to do what needs to be done or to help it wouldn’t be a problem for him to watch him.

Later I was talking to my mom and she had a fit that I told her that she wasn’t having the baby and stuff. I’m not the only one that told them that she don’t work my dad knows them and seen them and told them she don’t too. She was even trying to get disability part of the time he was claiming she was working and all this and home going to school online. I told her I was not lying for him if I was asked I would tell them the truth and that he shouldn’t be lying about everything. She went on and on about how she shouldn’t have called me and asked and we shouldn’t be talking about it and all. She didn’t work there blah blah. If I called in to my job or did something at my job I wouldn’t want him telling them stuff. No because I know what he would be telling them wouldn’t be the truth. I he would have no need to tell them anything because if I don’t go in I tell them why and very very rarely do I not go in or leave early.  If I leave early or call in once or twice a year is a lot for me. I don’t have jobs where that is allowed you show up and work no matter what or you lose your job 99% of the time.

But it’s her husband that is there until they close every night because he takes off. It is her husband that gets stuck there covering both shifts when he don’t show up takes off early or  whatever he decides to do. I know if I was calling in lying or taking off all the time he would be the first one to be telling someone something. It wouldn’t matter if they asked or not and it wouldn’t matter if he even knew anyone there. That is just how he is.

When he found out I knew my friend and her husband that works there he went and told her husband all kinds of lies about me and everything else. I think he done it because of all the lying he had and does at work and he knows I won’t lie to cover for him. Even if I wasn’t asked then something could come out why we were just hanging out talking. He told them I leave my kids all the time and go out to the bars just about every night and all this stuff. My mom says well how do you know your friend isn’t lying to you. I haven’t found that either of them have lied to me about anything. They have helped and offered to help me more than even my family. I know my brother he lies to everyone about everything my mom even knows it. He lies more than he tells the truth. I don’t if he has ever told the truth really. I have no reason not to believe them and every reason to not believe him. He has a track record for doing this with every job he gets. He never keeps a job for more than a few weeks or months. If he dose it is because when they try to fire him he calls HR with a huge pack of lies and gets them to believe it. So then HR has to look into everything and see who is doing what. He threatens to sue for every little thing so they have to watch why or when they do get rid of him or just cut his hours and things until he leaves.

I think it is crazy that my mom turns it around on me and makes me out to be the person in the wrong. She knows how he is and talks about it all the time. Him and his wife went so far as to tell her that she needed to stop talking to me or they wouldn’t be coming around or talking to her anymore because of stuff they started and she told them they were wrong. And because we still talked and things they stopped coming around or having anything to do with anyone for years and then get mad when we had things and they weren’t invited. I stopped inviting them to anything I had at my house not only because of the way he talked to and about me but the way he talked to and about other people. That fact that it made other people so mad or uncomfortable that thestoppeded coming to things when asked too. And the fact that no matter what they do or say or how they act and know they are in the wrong but then never say sorry or we shouldn’t have said or done that nothing. Just walk back in whenever they feel like it and act as if nothing ever happen. I am just over it. I stopped having holidays at my house because I didn’t want to invite them it looks like it will go back to being that way. I tried to be the bigger person and invited everyone for Easter and the baby’s birthday but not after this. My sister won’t come out and say anything to him or just not invite them to things. Because she don’t want to cause problems with anyone or make anyone mad. She plans stuff when she knows they won’t be around to come or waits until the last minute to tell them in hopes they have other plans. I don’t care who likes it or don’t like it if they are in the wrong they are in the wrong it is my house and my money going into whatever it is I am doing and I am not going to be forced to invite them and no one have a good time because of it or have people I want here to not show up or not be able to invite them because they are here. If I am the bitch for it I guess I will just be the bitch for it.

{May 15, 2014}   Checked Into Hiring A P.I

Yesterday I decided to start taking care of some things that need to be taken care of but I have been putting off. I talked to father of the year and he is supposed to be taking off next Friday for my big boy’s end of year awards at school. I told him instead of trying to just take off enough time to go there and then go back to work to just take off for the day since he is off at 4 that day anyway. That way before we go to the thing at school we can take all these papers to the courthouse and get them turned in so we can try to get a court date. He said ok and we are supposed to be leaving things the way they are as to who has them when and things. If he tries to pull this crap of wanting to change things on the way to the courthouse I am going to let him know right then and there everything that I know he thinks I don’t. Then I am going to tell him not only do I know but others do  too and that I will have them called into court. The one is the therapist who don’t think he should have them all the time like he wants. I think with my son and the way he is and the fact that father of the year has done the things he has the judge will leave it the way it is.

I had been trying to wait until I got father of the year out of the house before I tried to take RC to court for support. I don’t want them to count father of the years income as mine since we are getting a divorce and one way or another within the next few months here he is going to have to go somewhere. I also had thought about going why we are living the way we are and not even tell him I am filen or when/if I get anything. We are making it on what we have right now. We aren’t doing great but we are making it and doing ok. If I found him and was able to get something then I figured that I would just let it either save up on the card or open a bank account not tell anyone and have it put in there and let it just save up in there. It isn’t like if I save it they are going to make me pay him back or let him stop paying me. This way when I get him out of the house then I will have a little bit of money put a way to pay bills or save incase something happens and I need something. I would probably let it lay there until I had enough to pay a months rent and take it down and give it to them. I would still take and pay it every month still and not tell father of the year that I had paid anything on it or that it was paid up. I would just make more sense to have it paid up as much as I could that way I don’t have to worry about it. It wouldn’t really be wrong or lying to him to get him to pay the rent because he will still only be paying for the time he is here. What I am paying is for after that. If he is here he should have to help pay.

I was up half the night searching and searching trying to find any info I can on him. All the info I was coming up with is old addresses from what we all know and what he has told everyone. I called a P.I but they want $75 just to run the report to see what it shows. Then if I need them to go out and see if he is at the house for sure and is working at that job for sure still it is $65 an hour. That is calling one that is up where he is supposed to be. well in that state and I don’t think they are to far from where he is supposed to be. I hadn’t really thought about calling one up there but I called a lady here by me and she said her company is closed she retired. But she is the one that said maybe try one up there. I am sure they will find him pretty easy with no problems unless he moves soon. If I knew more about the area I could probably find him myself but I just don’t know enough about that area. I want to do it but I just don’t have that kind of money to put out to get the info. It really sucks because it is going to give me more money in the long run. If that much money goes gone father of the year is going to be asking questions because I won’t have it to pay on something. I pay some stuff he pays other. He knows how much I get and what gets paid that there isn’t much left over.

The more I think about it I need to do it now why father of the year is here so I can save. If we get these papers filed and get a court date then when I go in with RC to figure out who pays how much I can show them that we aren’t going to be together and that he is going to be moving out. If they still want to know his info and use it against me then I will just have them redo it once I me or him gets moved so it will only reflect my income.

I can just tell father of the year I am going with a friend somewhere the days I have to go to court. Or that the baby has a doctors appointment when we have to go for the test. He won’t know the difference unless my others say something about someone watching them. I can just say I wanted a break and a friend offered to watch them.

{May 15, 2014}   First Game’s

The kids had their first game’s for soccer and basketball this past Saturday. We had to be on the soccer field at 8:15, my youngest son had his game first. Then my oldest son had his right after. I am so glad they are back to back. I would hate to have to go back out there a second time or to have to sit there all day waiting on the next game. It was interesting, I am not sure what happen with the little kids but they ended up splitting up and playing against each other. The older kids  played against another Y team from one of the other Y’s.

I have no idea what happen with the little kids who won or what because my kid after insisting on playing when I signed the older two up refused to play. So I spent most the time trying to get him to play and watching the baby. The oldest team lost their game. The other team scored two points they didn’t get any. He was a little upset a few times in the game but over all I am glad he got out there done it had fun and is at least trying.

Then my oldest child had her basketball game in the afternoon. We took the kids home let them cool off nap and get something to eat before we went. They played one of the other teams from our Y. They did excellent they had 12 points on the board before the other team even scored. At one point they tied at 16 for a bit but they came back and took the win 23 to 16. Some of the kids were in for all or most the game and then others they took in and out. she was in a few times and did ok. I don’t think she really understands what when they giver her a spot to play that when she isn’t in that spot she can do other stuff. She got the ball a few times and had some good shots lined up but she kept passing the ball.

When she was done I asked her why she didn’t make the shots or at least try to make them. She said coach told us to do 1 of 2 things when we get the ball shoot or pass and the first thing that pops into my head when I get the ball is pass. I love my girl, I said yes but you don’t turn around and pass it behind you when you are standing right under the basket. She said it just pops into my head and I just do it without even thinking. I hope that she will at least try to make some shots this weekend. She does good I was impressed when I went and watched them practice. She just needs to get more confidence and the kids on her team need to stop picking on her and putting her down. I think they just don’t like it because she was showing them up a few times and she is the only girl on the team.

We have games again this week and I don’t know if I am taking my little one or not. I already told him I don’t know if I am going to bring him back to practice even because he just isn’t doing it. he had two already he did pretty good at the first and not so hot at the second just not wanting to play. I figure if I keep taking him then maybe he will get use to being there and start wanting to play but I don’t know at this point. He just seems to be the one everyone watches who don’t play and is the bratty kid. Ok maybe he isn’t that bad but that is how I feel the other parents are looking at us.

I think he just wants to be able to say he plays ball, have the shirt and to say he has a coach. Even if we stick it out for the rest of this term we won’t be putting him in next term unless he does a huge turn around the last few weeks here.

et cetera
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