{May 18, 2014}   Just A Blah Day

It’s just been one of those day, as if the lace weren’t bad enough the dog has gotten lose and I had to chase her down. I haven’t been feeling good since sometime up in the night. I woke up with acid from the reflux coming up. Probably TMI but I have been spotting for over a week and feeling like crap from that today. I don’t know why I am I did the same thing last month for a while as well. I know there is no chance in Hell that I’m not pregnant but no clue what is causing it. I have never done it before. Not like I have a doctor or time to go to one if I did have. I really don’t feel like going to a doctor for anything like that right now.

Money has been a mess we had two bills that didn’t get paid because he just didn’t have it this last check. He will get paid again Friday and we will have to pay them. I don’t think he is going to have enough to pay on the rent when it comes up due. That means it will take everything I get the first of the month to pay it and I will have no money again until the first without asking him for it. I hate asking him for money.

I told a friend I would take her about an hour a way to pick something up. When I say something to him about it he has a fit because of the tires on my truck he says is really bad. I have no money right now to buy new ones. I don’t even have money right now to buy used ones for that matter. I looked at them today I was trying to get the size off of them to see if a friend could get me some. The one has a plug in it and it just happen to be the one I looked at to get the size. It isn’t good the tire is splitting down around and away from the plug. I am more worried about that than the rest of them. I have to pray it stays together for the next week and that I can find a few decent used one to put on it. Best of all it is on the front of the truck. Not a great spot for it seeing that I won’t be able to steer it if it does blow.

Father of the year has been a huge ass the last week or more. He has pretty much refused to help with things around the house and then wants to bitch because stuff isn’t done or getting done. Last Night we had frozen pizza’s for dinner. He left for a call and was gone hours on other calls. He don’t have his phone right now so I had no clue where he was if or when he would be home. I still got him pizza. He got home about the time the kids were getting done and going to bed. I was taking care of stuff with them and doing other stuff. He pitched a huge two year old fit because I didn’t cook his pizza and about the kitchen being a mess. I cook just about every night, I get the kids on the bus, run around to two schools to pick them both up early on Tuesdays to have my big boy to therapy for an hour and take all the kids with me. I then pick big boy up early from school on Wednesday so that the other therapist can come here to the house and see him for an hour. I am also the one who takes them all to ball practice three times a week, and stars and get them from the bus everyday that I don’t pick them up early. I still find time to cook get baths, homework, rooms picked up, make sure they have all their stuff for ball clean and uniforms for school make sure the floors get mopped and vacuumed and everything else around the house done.

He wants to cry because he washes dishes at night, does a load of clothes maybe once or twice a week and cleans up the playroom now and then. If he is being nice he may make dinner on his night off or if he is off on the weekend. He acts as if I should just pick up and clean up after him like we are still married or together. He whines and complains that he can’t handle what all he has to do and all this just overwhelms him and he don’t feel good and is SO stressed from it all. But this is the man that wants split custody and wants them all the time to do everything for them by himself and work 24 hour shifts for days at a time why he has them. If he can’t do the few things now to help with them how does he think he is going to do it when it is just him? I still haven’t been told how he plans to go on calls when he has them and has no one there to watch them.

I have been very aggravated with it all and on top of not feeling good I have just let a lot go this week. Was going to get it caught up today and then found this lice mess and been dealing with it. Just like that I have asked him over and over to please help me with it because it is hard for me to see them and the eggs because of my eyes. He says ok has her sit down and then sits there and goes to sleep or whines he can’t pick them out his fingers are to big he can’t get a hold of them blah blah blah bullshit because he don’t want to do it. But then bitches because now the other kids have it. I have picked and picked it and gotten what I can see. I just need him to get anything I may have missed. I have asked over and over on his days off weekends off even he just ignores it. But then bitches because everything else isn’t getting done or whatever.

I should be cooking dinner now and getting the kids baths and heads finished. I still have sheets and blankets to wash and animals to dry but I am taking a break because I am hurting and feeling sick to my stomach.

thenarcissistwrites says:

I feel you, hope your days get better soon!

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