In my last post I wrote about how the kids did their final play of the season this weekend. They did 4 shows 1 more than the other 2 groups will be doing. They did a special show Saturday afternoon for a group of special needs kids. A Autism special sensory showing.
A Representative from the group came in to talk to them during tech week. They wanted to think them for doing the show and explain to them what to expect from the kids. So they understood and knew they weren’t just being rude.
My oldest said they asked the them if they knew anyone with Autism and the kids raised their hands who did. She said to me mommy I raised my hand but brother didn’t. I asked right a way what she said when he didn’t and if they asked who they knew that had it and what she said. She said she didn’t say anything and that they asked some of the kids but not her.
I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t raise his hand at all. He don’t know his diagnoses. He was young and didn’t really know what was going on when they tested him. Even now he knows we go to meetings at the school and things but he isn’t there and don’t know that it is any different than any other did in school. For him it isn’t because all the kids in his school’s parents have meetings at the school.
I haven’t hidden it from him I talk pretty openly in front of him about it he just don’t ask or listen to what is going on most the time. He is to busy playing and doing his own thing. I treat him like all the rest of the kids and push him to do all the same things I expect from the other kids. I know he won’t do them all just right or may not be able to do some and that is fine. I just want him to try. I don’t want him to think that he is different and can’t or shouldn’t and I don’t want him to try and use his Autism as a excuse for not doing things or trying things because he don’t want to or because he thinks it might make it a little harder for him.
I don’t want him to feel that there is something wrong with him, less or different than the other kids either. Like now when he goes out and tries to play with the kids around our house and they leave him out or aren’t nice to him. He don’t see it as them doing it because he is a little different or because there is something wrong with him. He see’s it as they have a problem and there is something wrong with them for being mean and treating people the way they are. If he seen it the other way around it might keep him from being as social and friendly as he is and from trying to make friends and things.
The way I look at it there is something wrong with them more than there is him. He isn’t doing nothing but asking to be their friend and to play ball with them. He knows he don’t know how to play but ask them to show him and tell him what he needs to do. Nothing any other child who don’t know how to play something would do. They are the ones who want to exclude him because he don’t talk as plane as they do and don’t know how to do the things they know how to do. I have raised my kids that as long as they are being good to you and are nice and not being mean or nasty and treating you bad you be nice to them and include them if they want to play. That’s how it should be. When we are with friends and their kids they don’t know anything really about him and the Autism but they all play and get along.
So no it didn’t surprise me that he didn’t raise his hand when asked. It don’t bother me that he didn’t and thinks that if people don’t want to have something to do with you when your trying to be nice and friendly. There is something wrong with them not you.
Others may disagree with me on letting him think there is something wrong with the other person for not wanting to have something to do with you. Because I know sometimes people don’t want to have anything to do with you if you have done something you shouldn’t or have been nasty or mean. Lack of better words but we are talking about kids so fits. But my son also knows when or if he dose somethings it makes people not want to be around you and that when you have done something you shouldn’t and they don’t it is him in the wrong and not them. Because he will tell me so and so did this or that and it isn’t nice or it was gross and I didn’t play with them today. Or that he did something and someone got upset with him and didn’t talk to him or play with him. He knows that you need to say your sorry and try to work things out and fix them.