{July 30, 2014}   Slowly Falling Into Place

It seems like everything is slowly falling into place for me and the kids to finally have our own place soon. I posed a few weeks So Very Blessed about how I had sold my truck, getting a washer and drier and things. First quick update on that. The washer was a very simple fix. Someone had dropped the lid to hard or slammed it. It in turn broke the switch. Well didn’t break it. It just came apart so it wasn’t letting it work right. My grandpa was going to by pass it and just forget it but got to thinking that if once of the kids tried to use it that they may get hurt because it wouldn’t shut off when you open the lid. So he screwed it back together and fixed it right. Father of the year and a friend went down and picked it up so I didn’t have to rent a trailer to get it home.

The guy got the truck working for his wife and they are very happy with it. It is nice not having it sitting here walking around it in the way all the time.

Since then more has been happening, the other guy at father of the years job quite in the middle of his weekend on so he has been working a lot of hours the last few weeks. So that is helpful once the checks catch up and start coming in. We will finally be all caught up with bills this Friday I think. We have to pay car insurance and the water bill plus a small loan he took out this week. But I will have about half the loan to pay back. I had a friend who needed to borrow a little bit of money I knew I was already going to have to get the loan so I let them borrow that. They are going to give it back Friday as well.

They also still need a wrecker driver at work. They told father of the year that he could move up to wrecker once he had been there a little bit. This next week or so will be a year that he has been there and they have yet to move him up. I told him go back in and ask them again why they won’t move him up. So he went in and talk to them and they told him as soon as they find someone to take his place and he gets them a crash course they will move him up and train him. They said is pay won’t really go up much they get a percentage of each call. They said the number of calls he gets will go up plus the cost of each call he goes on goes up by a lot. Instead of being like $35 calls they will be $100’s of each call. Plus they say they get tips more often and a lot better tips. They get millage as well and sometimes they have to go across the state and back. He should be making a good amount more.

I have found a babysitter for the kids that is willing to work with me on hours and price. She knows I am homeschooling the kids so all 4 will be here. The kids love her and she loves the kids so I am sure they will have a lot of fun. She has known my kids since I was pregnant with them. I have known her for about 12 years. I don’t know why I didn’t think of her before I see her all the time just never really thought about asking her. We ran into her last week when we were going to therapy and something said hey ask her so I did and she said yes. With him getting moved up I should have a little more to pay her too. He tells me well when I move up we rotate days off so I will probably only have like one weekend a month off I will get the kids then and the other weeks get them whatever two day’s I’m off. I told him no that wasn’t right I shouldn’t have to keep planing my life, my job, my time and activates around when he is off and is or isn’t going to have the kids. That visitation needed to stay the same and he would need to figure out what he was going to do if he had to work the weekends that he had them. Just like I am going to have to find daycare for the time that I have them if I have to work. Why should I pay extra daycare and plan my life around him and make it easy on him? He said ok but he would like ot have them when he is off as well. I told him that was fine he could have them other times of the week if he wanted and we didn’t have plans. But he had to take them our set days and times as well and he had to do their school work with them the days he had them.

Maybe I am wrong but we are not together I don’t feel I should have to change when he has the kids every week to make it easier on him. I hope to have a pretty set days and times I work so I can plan things with them to do, so we can get school work and things done, and so I can plan things I want to do when I have time and they are with him. I don’t want to every time I want to plan something go oh wait let me check with my ex and see if he is off so I can. Not happening.

If he moves up and is making more than he should have no reason not to move out and get his own place. I told him he should start looking and needs to start saving and he got mad. But oh well the truth hurts. He knew this was not a permanent thing. It wasn’t supposed to have lasted this long. I have started looking for places for him. I have even found him a roommate. I told him the other day I found him a roommate he said ok. I told him who it was he said that would probably work. I just want to get him out of here as soon as I can.

He is also supposed to be seeing about taking his week vacation sometime the next week or so. He is going to see if he can take it after he gets his replacement trained before he starts tow side. That way we can get to the court house and get the stuff with the divorce taken care of. I will be so happy to have it done and over with. We have things we need to get done around the house.

I have been feeling a lot better than I have been the last 2 or 3 months. Knowing that things are turning around and that hopefully he will be moving on very soon. Like I said here in Put On A Good Show, it will slowly kill you having to live this way. Yeah I get up every morning and plaster on my best fake smile and put one foot in front of the other but what is inside is not able to keep putting on the show. Hell I don’t even put on a fake smile to tell the truth everyone tells me all the time I need to smile. My friend said the other day I would say you look good when you smile but I don’t think I have ever seen you smile. But it is nothing new I can remember from way back people telling me I need to smile more. I had one teacher I use to walk by every day on the way to school she always say something about smiling.

I got to stop because I know now I am just rambling. I know there are a few other things going on the few days weeks but I really can’t remember what. But it’s all good and it is all coming this way for a change. Maybe I should go play the lotto I fell lucky.

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