{August 16, 2014}   How I Feel About My Body How Comfortable I am In It (Day 6 of 30)

Today my challenge is to talk about my how I feel about my body. I use to be very tiny like 120 lbs is the most I ever weighed before I had kids. After I had my first two I got back down to 130 lbs and stalled. I couldn’t lose it I didn’t worry about it to much it wasn’t that big of a deal. The year before I got pregnant with my 3 rd I started a exercise  class and was trying to eat better. I figured that extra 30 I had been carrying around would come off with no problem. Boy was I wrong, I gained another 35 lbs in one month. After a couple of months I stopped the class and was just really unhappy. It wasn’t so much I was upset about not losing the 30 but more upset that I again 35 more. I went on to gain another 30 over the course of the next 4 months. I was the biggest I had ever been pregnant or not pregnant. Everyone asked me for a year if I was I felt horrible. The next year I did get pregnant and hardly anyone noticed or asked because I had just been getting fat. I blew up to 198 lbs when I was pregnant. After I had the baby I was never able to get down past 165. I hate it. I went on and got pregnant with my 4 th and lost down to 135 before I shot back up to 175. I am now 16 months later still only down to 165 lbs.

I don’t like that I am 165 lbs by far. But I am ok with it. Really the only thing that really bothers me is my stomach. I hate my stomach. I still have that baby pooch that kind of sags. That is my biggest thing I stuggle with when it comes to my body. Other than that I am ok with it. I have always said if I could take the fat/flab from my stomach and inject it into my boobs I would be ok. I am ok with my boobs it would just make it easier to find clothes that fit better if they were a little bit bigger. I don’t want them huge but just a tad bigger so that things don’t look so big on me in the chest. But if I could only change one thing it would be my stomach and I would be happy with the rest of it. I am sure once me and the kids get a place we will be happy more relaxed and I will probably lose the extra I would like to lose. Until then I am just going to continue to be happy with the body I have and make the best of it.

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