{October 25, 2014}   Legoland

Thursday we went to Legoland with the homeschool group we have found and become a part of. My friend J went with us to help me out with the little ones. None of us had been before so we had no idea what to expect.

I don’t know if I was expecting to much or it was really just that bad. This was a first of anything like it for my two little ones. My older two have been to Disney a few times and Animal Kingdom once and Seaworld.  I expected it to be comparable to Disney or at least Seaworld and boy was it not. Far from it really. First thing I noticed before we got there was their hours 10:00am to 5:00pm. Seemed a little odd they would be open later as the other parks are. When you walked in it didn’t seem like anything great or special. I mean the other parks have different shows or little things going on in the streets through out the park be it people playing music, characters walking around or in areas to meet, parades different things. They had nothing it seemed deserted kind of like you were just walking around a down town area that has shops and things for tourist. The shows seem to over lap and most were only shown once maybe twice a day. The rides were nothing like you would expect either. I know it is supposed to be geared toward kids but most rides were either for little kids or older kids. They had signs that said for this age or that age this hight or that hight. All parks have a hight requirement I understand that. But they also have a ton of stuff that the family can do together. It did not seem very family oriented at all. Even being kid geared it could still be more for family or rides for families. The rides were not that interesting either. They had cars for the 3-5 year olds to go around the track most couldn’t even get around the track. The cars were almost to small for them to ride in. They had the same thing for kids 6-16 the cars were not that much bigger. My 9 and 10 year old barely fit in them. Their legs were all bent up they went about a mile an hour. The go carts at the go cart track or the bumper cars at the fair move faster. Other areas they had tons of games set up to play like a carnival or something but they were way over priced. You would think for the price that you pay for tickets they would be free. They had a few roller coasters but other than that nothing great.

It seemed like Lego wanted to get in on the theme park business but didn’t wanted to put as little as possible into it so they felt since it was based on “legos” they could get a way with being very generic is the word that kept coming to mind. It like thinking you are going to go shopping at Target and ending up at a auction or flea market. I didn’t expect it to me just like Seaworld or Disney but I expected it to be at least entertaining fun, I don’t know how to explain it. It was nice getting to spend the time with the kids bit I would have much rather taken the money and done something different. They said they had fun but then commented about the rides and things. I think they were just trying to be nice since we don’t get to do things like that all the time.

Just as I figured when I seen the hours it don’t really give you much time to do much. If you watch a show or two and stop to eat half your time is gone. There wasn’t much to pick from to eat and most places you had to eat outside no where to sit inside to eat. If there was it was packed no where to sit because the places were so small had such few tables. No where to sit down cool off why you eat or even for a few minutes really. No real shaded areas. The you didn’t get a adult meal for under $10 and most of them didn’t come with a drink. The kids meals weren’t to bad they were around $5 but only came with milk or water. I asked at the one place how much it would be to upgrade the drink in the meal they wanted $3.50 more to UPGRADE the drink. Basically you just bought a drink. Its to hot to be giving kids milk out in that heat and they like to have more than water. We ended up going to the all you can eat pizza, pasta and salad that included drinks. It was $15 for adults and $10 for kids. But if you figure by the time you buy an extra drink with their meal at the other places and buy some kind of drink for yourself your are paying that anyway or close to it.

You walk every where there is no way to get around the park other than walking. That takes up a good amount of your time to be doing other stuff as well. When I was at the other parks my kids spent hardly no time in the strollers because we were always on the go in one show, or ride jumping on the train or whatever to go to a different area to do stuff. Here my 18 month old hardly got out of it and when she did it was to watch everyone else ride and have fun because she wasn’t able to ride.

If you are going to be going on vacation near a Legoland I recommend saving your money and go somewhere else. Take the money and split it up and go to a few different places and out to dinner and/or lunch. You will probably have a much better time.

I am very glad that we only spent $55 for all of us to go and not the $255 it would normally cost. All I could think walking around there is thank god we paid the group rate. If it was right next you (like a mile down the rode) and was about $5/$10 a person it might be worth taking the kids to once every few years or so.

{October 19, 2014}   Tactless he is

Where father of the year works they have houses that they rent out to their employees. They rent them rather cheap because they aren’t really in great areas and they don’t put a lot of maintenance into them. With the way things have been the last few weeks I told father of the year he needed to look into renting the one they have open or seeing if they had others open. Because he will not look for anything and will live like this forever if I don’t say something. He had a friend that wanted to be room-mates a few months ago and he pissed around until he did something else.

I asked him why he didn’t do that he had 101 excuses from he didn’t think he was reliable to they couldn’t find any place to he didn’t have money. All of  which I pointed out was wrong. He is as reliable as anyone else he isn’t going to find someone that is perfect or to many people willing to rent a place with him. He wanted me to let him rent a room here but father of the year is in the only spot I would have to give him. He wanted to rent here because he knows we aren’t going to party all the time take the money and spend it and not pay bills and things like that. He is younger than we are but he seems to be pretty reasonable. We have known him since he was a kid. He came over many times telling us about places he had found, what they were like where they were, how much they were and what they would need to move in. Father of the year would just sit there and listen and never say anything like he wasn’t the least bit interested. Because he wasn’t he has no plan of moving. He tried saying he had no money when he wanted to get a place but that was wrong too because we had been talking about how things were caught up and would be a good time for him to get something.

When I said something about the house the company has he went right to making excuses about it. I will say it isn’t in great shape but he has had options and didn’t take them. The money to move in as he says he don’t have he wouldn’t need as they just move in and start paying rent no upfront fees. I know how he is he would fix it up and clean it with bleach and things from top to bottom so I wouldn’t be worried about the kids going over there. The area isn’t great but it is ok. No worse than where I am really at this point probably.

We talked about this a few times the last week or so and he was supposed to ask about it. Of course every time I asked if he did he say he hadn’t gotten to it hadn’t had time, the guy was out sick. or something. But he has to go in and talk to the lady every morning no matter what he has to go turn his paperwork in and find out where he is out and all. He could take 2 minutes to say hey I would like to know about renting that house that is sitting over there empty. He just don’t want to and hopes someone else would get to it first so he can say he tried but they rented it before he could. I finally told him if he didn’t call and ask her about it I was going to call and ask her and move his stuff over there myself. He don’t have that much wouldn’t take long. Be worth it to get him out of my house. He finally asked but they said the last guy who lived there gutted it. He tore the air out along with pipes and wiring. They found a bunch of drug stuff in it when they cleaned it out. This is the story I got anyway. But the guy is still working for him. I asked him how he still had his job if he did all this stuff he said he didn’t know. I am going to have my friend J’s husband ask them about it see what they say.

I wondered why he told them he was asking about it so I asked him. He said he told her that we had been fighting a lot lately and he needed to get out and get a place. I said oh so basiacly she is throwing me out I have no where to go poor me? He just looked at me stupid for a minute and said no. I said why didn’t you tell them the truth this was only a temp thing that you didn’t move here to stay it wasn’t supposed to last two years or more like it has and that now things have been taken care of and your ready to get your own place. He said well I don’t know they don’t need to know all the details. No they don’t just the ones that make it look like poor pitiful him he has the wicked wife that treats him so bad. Not that this place is supposed to been mine and the kids he was supposed to get a place. That yeah I want him out because again we have holes in the doors and walls like every other place we have lived together. I am so tired of having holes in my walls and doors because he gets mad and decides to put his fist through them. I am ready to just call the cops and let them deal with him when he has his little fits and dose the things he dose but I don’t want my kids to see their dad go to jail and who knows what else may happen with the things he has said. He knows what he is doing and how they all feel so sorry for him. It makes me sick. The way he snows everyone and the way they all believe it when they can see I’m the one here all the time and have the kids 24/7 doing everything for them and taking care of their schooling and everything else. It just pisses me off more and more every day that he is here that he is here and walks around like ha ha you can’t do anything about it. I can’t even find a baby sitter because they don’t want to be around him and he comes home if he knows someone is here with the kids watching them. He pops in and out all day just to because.

{October 15, 2014}   If I Had A $1

I am so tired of hearing how I just need to get laid I’d feel better. I’m tired of all the offeres to help me out, or just to have some fun. My favorite to help someone else out and have a good time as well, because I’m the safe one. I won’t expect more, I won’t cause problems later, I won’t tell anyone or let it out. Because I’m the one who will keep everyones little secrite safe because I’m the trusted one. If I had a $1 for every offer I have had I could walk no make that run a way from the situation I am in and not have to ever worry about looking back or ending back up like this again.

I don’t know if I should be flatered or insaulted that so many “guys” want to sleep with me. I mean really its not like I’m anything special or great to look at. Feel far from it really. Lets face it if I was then why haven’t I found someone decent and who cares about me and more than just hooking up? Since I’m not anything specail or that great is that then why they feel I’ll say yes and keep their secret? What do they really feel that I can’t get it else where so they can pat theirself on the back for doing a good deed?

I just honestly don’t get it. Why is it so hard for them to blevie no I haven’t been with anyone in two years and that yes in that way I am fine and happy with that. Why is that so hard to believe? Why is it so hard to believe that right now yes I would love to have a relationship but I’m not interested in nor want sex. I just want someone to be there to come in after a day at work or not seeing eachother and just have that hug and a kiss not expecting anything more.

If it is and this is how all guys are abd there aren’t any men out there any more than I think I would be just fine if I wasn’t with someone again. Because I want more than a good time and to be someones go to. If I’m just going to be here for a good time and someones safe go to then I’m going to have to charge because at that point its just something else on my already long list of things to do.

{October 15, 2014}   Catching Up

I can’t believe it has been over a month since I posted. It has been one hell of a month and a half. As you all know I decided to pull the kids out of school and home school them right before school started back. We decided to take the first month off and just relaxed. September’s lessons were all planed around September 11. I wanted them to really understand it and how where AL Qaeda  started and things like that. Then we did lessons on September 11 and then about the memorials for September 11. I was trying to put together lessons for October and it has been a flop. My oldest is a way staying with her great grandma so I just printed her workbook pages to do why she is gone. She don’t care if she misses things that we do she is more of a just give me the pages let me get them done. I am having a horrible time finding what works for my son. We have went to try and get services with the school board for speech, language and ot. They have been  pleasant to say the least. They are asking questions and things about what he is learning. I have no clue what level he is really on they are pushing math and I have to keep bumping him back to keep from having melt downs and him from freezing up. I finally bumped him back to 1 st grade. We go Friday to get him and my oldest tested to see where they are and where there are gaps that need to be filled in. I am in the process of trying to get a scholarship for him. I am praying I get it because if I do then I can hire a tutor to help him with his math. It will open up more options for curriculum that I can get for him.

My youngest had a 3 hours evaluation last month to see what services they are willing to offer him. I am hoping that they will put him in school but I don’t know if they are going to or not. We finally go to a meeting on Halloween to see what they are willing to offer. Who knows how long it will take them to start them, probably won’t be until school is about to get out knowing them.

Things haven’t been great between me and father of the year. We went camping two Friday’s ago and it was just a breaking point.  The trip was great minus him being there and the huge fight we had all day before we went. I am having problems with the transmission in my truck. I had to borrow my dads van to go on the trip. I told father of the year we needed to leave by 3 to get to where we were going on time. He tells them at work he will work until 2:30. We talked about it and that I would get my dads van the day before so that we could get it packed and all we would have to do is drop the dog off and go. I went and got it and spent the day running around trying to get everything taken care of that needed to be done before we left. He didn’t get home until about 8 that night I told him we needed to get some clothes washed and things packed and the truck packed so we could leave and get there on time. He just ate and walked off and laid down with the little one. I asked him for the suit cases and he said he didn’t know where they were. He didn’t offer to find them or do anything else. The next day things just got worse at time I should be leaving he tells me when I still haven’t found the suit case that oh he forgot it is baried in his closet full of his stuff. When he got home things just got much much worse.

Then he sat here yelling and screaming at me how I don’t care about my son and how I am and what I am again. I told him how much I really hated him and hated him being here and that I want him out of the house and to get his own place that he needs to grow up be a man and stop making everyone miserable. He started about RC and how he was and needed to do and why we aren’t together why he was talking about how I was. My poor little guy was tell him not to yell at his mommy and to leave me alone. I know my older son could hear all that was said and going on. I feel so horrible over it all. We were in other rooms but when father of the year is yelling it as loud as he could and punching holes in doors.

We got in another big fight again Monday because he won’t find a place. He just keeps making excuses like always and talking about how he is just so worried about the kids. He wants to make sure the kids have a place. Really if he wanted to make sure they had a place then he would have filled out the paper work and turned in to keep the house they had lived in most their life. He was hell set on keeping it until they needed a place to stay then stopped trying to keep it and let them take it. leaving us homeless at the holidays. Or when we were in the last house and he would piss the money a way til everything got behind and we lost the place. Refused to come home so that I could go to work. all the same old stuff that he still dose. Like now sitting over there sleeping on the couch in a pill of clothes that needs to be folded. A bunch of stuff that needs to be done with the therapist coming tomorrow. I have said something a few times since he came in and he just looks at me and walks off. There is so much that needs to be done and he says well just do it. I don’t care. Of course he don’t. Would mean he don’t have to do anything but walk in and out as he pleases have a maid, cook, and babysitter like old times. I take care of everything with bills, schooling, doctors, kids, meetings for services, trips with the kids and the home school group. He had a fit because I didn’t have a sitter for the kids why I had to take one to their meeting and he had to take a couple hours off work. Got mad because they were pissed because he asked the day before. He knew that he needed to be here with them weeks before but didn’t bother to ask until the day before. The other meeting I had he showed up at time for us to be there before he come pulling up.

I can’t take it any more living like this. Friday before we left for camping I was locked in the bathroom sitting on the floor with three of the other kids running around doing whatever. I told him and my friend that I was done. I was calling RC and telling him that he needed to get the baby I would drive her to him or whatever but that I was done doing it. I told father of the year that I was calling him to come and get her and that he needed to come be with the other three because I wasn’t doing this any more. So then he had a fit about that and that I couldn’t call her dad and send her to stay with him blah blah. How horrible I was and how I am. He acts like it is such a horrible thing that I think they should be helping and being fathers to their kids. That I am a horrible person because I can’t be here and do this all 24/7 and never be a way from the kids for even an hour or two. If I get time with out them that I am not rushing to get back home or being called and pestered about coming home more than once a year it is a miracle and I am a horrible person for it. But they walk off and either never come around call or pay a penny for anything or stick around and be complete ass and do nothing but make things harder than they already are or have to be.

My friend J’s husband got a job at the shop where father of the year tows for. I have heard how horrible I am how horrible poor father of the year of the year is treated and how horrible I am. And of course the pity party for him. Yet again I am left being the one that is wrong he is Mr. Wonderful. God only knows what RC told them so I am sure they all really think I am who knows what and only makes them feel that much sorrier for him. Although I’m the one here doing it all why they flit around and do nothing or be asses. I guess I should get off here and spent the night doing things that need to be done around here. Because if I don’t do them myself they will never get done. I have been so depressed that all I want to do is sleep and as soon as I get the baby a sleep at night I go to sleep too. Big reason I haven’t been on in so long. I promise I will try be back more.

et cetera
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