Catching Up

I can’t believe it has been over a month since I posted. It has been one hell of a month and a half. As you all know I decided to pull the kids out of school and home school them right before school started back. We decided to take the first month off and just relaxed. September’s lessons were all planed around September 11. I wanted them to really understand it and how where AL Qaeda  started and things like that. Then we did lessons on September 11 and then about the memorials for September 11. I was trying to put together lessons for October and it has been a flop. My oldest is a way staying with her great grandma so I just printed her workbook pages to do why she is gone. She don’t care if she misses things that we do she is more of a just give me the pages let me get them done. I am having a horrible time finding what works for my son. We have went to try and get services with the school board for speech, language and ot. They have been  pleasant to say the least. They are asking questions and things about what he is learning. I have no clue what level he is really on they are pushing math and I have to keep bumping him back to keep from having melt downs and him from freezing up. I finally bumped him back to 1 st grade. We go Friday to get him and my oldest tested to see where they are and where there are gaps that need to be filled in. I am in the process of trying to get a scholarship for him. I am praying I get it because if I do then I can hire a tutor to help him with his math. It will open up more options for curriculum that I can get for him.

My youngest had a 3 hours evaluation last month to see what services they are willing to offer him. I am hoping that they will put him in school but I don’t know if they are going to or not. We finally go to a meeting on Halloween to see what they are willing to offer. Who knows how long it will take them to start them, probably won’t be until school is about to get out knowing them.

Things haven’t been great between me and father of the year. We went camping two Friday’s ago and it was just a breaking point.  The trip was great minus him being there and the huge fight we had all day before we went. I am having problems with the transmission in my truck. I had to borrow my dads van to go on the trip. I told father of the year we needed to leave by 3 to get to where we were going on time. He tells them at work he will work until 2:30. We talked about it and that I would get my dads van the day before so that we could get it packed and all we would have to do is drop the dog off and go. I went and got it and spent the day running around trying to get everything taken care of that needed to be done before we left. He didn’t get home until about 8 that night I told him we needed to get some clothes washed and things packed and the truck packed so we could leave and get there on time. He just ate and walked off and laid down with the little one. I asked him for the suit cases and he said he didn’t know where they were. He didn’t offer to find them or do anything else. The next day things just got worse at time I should be leaving he tells me when I still haven’t found the suit case that oh he forgot it is baried in his closet full of his stuff. When he got home things just got much much worse.

Then he sat here yelling and screaming at me how I don’t care about my son and how I am and what I am again. I told him how much I really hated him and hated him being here and that I want him out of the house and to get his own place that he needs to grow up be a man and stop making everyone miserable. He started about RC and how he was and needed to do and why we aren’t together why he was talking about how I was. My poor little guy was tell him not to yell at his mommy and to leave me alone. I know my older son could hear all that was said and going on. I feel so horrible over it all. We were in other rooms but when father of the year is yelling it as loud as he could and punching holes in doors.

We got in another big fight again Monday because he won’t find a place. He just keeps making excuses like always and talking about how he is just so worried about the kids. He wants to make sure the kids have a place. Really if he wanted to make sure they had a place then he would have filled out the paper work and turned in to keep the house they had lived in most their life. He was hell set on keeping it until they needed a place to stay then stopped trying to keep it and let them take it. leaving us homeless at the holidays. Or when we were in the last house and he would piss the money a way til everything got behind and we lost the place. Refused to come home so that I could go to work. all the same old stuff that he still dose. Like now sitting over there sleeping on the couch in a pill of clothes that needs to be folded. A bunch of stuff that needs to be done with the therapist coming tomorrow. I have said something a few times since he came in and he just looks at me and walks off. There is so much that needs to be done and he says well just do it. I don’t care. Of course he don’t. Would mean he don’t have to do anything but walk in and out as he pleases have a maid, cook, and babysitter like old times. I take care of everything with bills, schooling, doctors, kids, meetings for services, trips with the kids and the home school group. He had a fit because I didn’t have a sitter for the kids why I had to take one to their meeting and he had to take a couple hours off work. Got mad because they were pissed because he asked the day before. He knew that he needed to be here with them weeks before but didn’t bother to ask until the day before. The other meeting I had he showed up at time for us to be there before he come pulling up.

I can’t take it any more living like this. Friday before we left for camping I was locked in the bathroom sitting on the floor with three of the other kids running around doing whatever. I told him and my friend that I was done. I was calling RC and telling him that he needed to get the baby I would drive her to him or whatever but that I was done doing it. I told father of the year that I was calling him to come and get her and that he needed to come be with the other three because I wasn’t doing this any more. So then he had a fit about that and that I couldn’t call her dad and send her to stay with him blah blah. How horrible I was and how I am. He acts like it is such a horrible thing that I think they should be helping and being fathers to their kids. That I am a horrible person because I can’t be here and do this all 24/7 and never be a way from the kids for even an hour or two. If I get time with out them that I am not rushing to get back home or being called and pestered about coming home more than once a year it is a miracle and I am a horrible person for it. But they walk off and either never come around call or pay a penny for anything or stick around and be complete ass and do nothing but make things harder than they already are or have to be.

My friend J’s husband got a job at the shop where father of the year tows for. I have heard how horrible I am how horrible poor father of the year of the year is treated and how horrible I am. And of course the pity party for him. Yet again I am left being the one that is wrong he is Mr. Wonderful. God only knows what RC told them so I am sure they all really think I am who knows what and only makes them feel that much sorrier for him. Although I’m the one here doing it all why they flit around and do nothing or be asses. I guess I should get off here and spent the night doing things that need to be done around here. Because if I don’t do them myself they will never get done. I have been so depressed that all I want to do is sleep and as soon as I get the baby a sleep at night I go to sleep too. Big reason I haven’t been on in so long. I promise I will try be back more.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Names, Numbers And Text | A Single Parents Life

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