I told you all about going to the child support enforcement office (I Did It….) a couple weeks ago. Well I filled out all the papers and today father of the year was off so me and my friend J decided to take a ride and see what we could get done.
They told me to bring my daughter or her birth certificate. I have miss placed my drivers license and still can’t find it. I’m not able to get it without a photo id. I took her with me. First thing the lady ask for is her birth certificate. I told her what they told me she said she was going to give me notice to bring one in with in 10 days. Then she ask about father of the year I told her. She says she has to talk to her boss and left. She came back and says we can’t help you because father of the year is living in the same house as you. I said but he isn’t her father there is no possible way he is. I know a 100% without a doubt who her father is and that is RC. She said it don’t matter that because we are married and he is in the home then they will not even have him do the test to prove she is not his and will not have RC do the test to show she is his. She said as far as they are concerned father of the year is her dad end of story.
I asked her what if I got my own paternity test test she told me they didn’t have to use it. That I had to have my divorce done and the judge has to put in the paperwork that he is not the father. So I don’t know what that will in-tail to get that done. Probably just something else to drag the divorce out even longer. They will probably want to send father of the year for a paternity test. If I have to pay for that who knows how long it will take me to get the money. I will have to use my tax money and use it. I don’t know why if I take her and him to a lab and have my own test ran why they can’t use it? It makes no since to me at all. I am taking them to a medical facility to have it done not like I am asking them to take a home test and use.
I went to the court house she said I can file this one paper that I need to file and go back in front of the judge and he should grant it without going to mediation. Or I can file this other paper and go to court to have mediation ordered. I don’t know why it wasn’t the judge said he wanted us to go. And that takes 90 days to 6 months to get the court date and then who knows how long to get the date for mediation. Then I have to pay $50 to $100 for mediation.
I asked her what if like last time he agrees and signs everything and gets in court and dose something like last time? Will the judge grant it because he see’s he is just trying to hold things up or will he through it out and tell us we need to file this paper go to mediation or say I need to go back to square one and file contested? She said she didn’t know it was up to the judge at that time to decide what to do with the case and him if he wants to try to hold it up after he signs everything saying he agrees to it. I hope and pray that he see’s what he is doing says you know what you already agreed this is what we are going to do and grant it.
I have tried to do this every way possible without being nasty and some way it always comes back to him being here that keeps me from doing anything. Now he has nothing to do with this and just because he stopped it last time it is keeping her from getting what she should be getting and having things that she needs. It is keeping us stuck in this situation just like he wants. I am done playing nice.
I told him tonight that we are going to the court house and we are going to file all this paperwork and get a court date and this divorce is going to be done once and for all. He didn’t really say anything just sat there looking like poor me. If he don’t go and don’t get what needs to be done to have it taken care of I will have him out of here so fast his head will spend. Whatever happens or happens to him because of it or where ever he has to go because of it will just have to be. My friend J is going to talk to her teacher about a pro bono lawyer and see if he knows any in the area that maybe able to help me. She is going to school for legal and he is a lawyer. Hopefully he will know of someone in the area.
Worse case I will have to wait til tax time wait til we get the check get my part and then take it and pay a lawyer. Whatever I have to do this is coming to a end with him and with RC. I just feel that every way I turn I run into a brick wall. But then I am not supposed to feel defeated or give up. It makes it hard to not just give up when you are defeated before you start. If I go to contested divorce court with out a lawyer I will lose 3 of my kids. His family will with out a shadow of a doubt get him a lawyer. I have no one to get me one. The only one that would help me is my dad and my dad is not able to help me any more. My friend J offered to help me pay to get the papers filled out but if it comes down to it I need someone to go to court for me not just fill the papers out and that is going to be to much.