{December 27, 2014}   Don’t Know What I Was Thinking

I joined a dating site. I was looking at something on line the other week and this ad for one popped up I clicked on it. Just to click around and look at all the crazy profiles. You know people watch on line. And see how many people I seen that I know.

It wouldn’t let me look without making a profile myself. I started not to but I did and went from there. I just put a vag location and have not put up a profile picture at all. I have had a ton of people look at my profile and a handful of people contact me. Mostly wanting to know if I have a picture.

I feel funny putting up a picture and really don’t want to talk to someone right now the situation that I am in. I put a little about myself and that I was married but getting a divorce and not been together for 4 years or more. I didn’t put that I am stuck living with him and all that. I don’t need all that out there. I don’t want to put a picture up because I don’t want others I know seeing it and all my business. I am a very open but very private person at the same time. I share with who I want to know stuff not just everyone. Well aside from here not just everyone.

I think the biggest thing is the situation I am in and the not feeling like I can really have a life right now. I feel stuck, trapped or whatever you want to call it. I’m depressed and just don’t care most the time. I don’t want to meet someone and even just have things as friends and screw it up because of the way things are here and how I feel because of being here. I want them to get to know the real me and not the depressed annoyed me. I don’t want to be in this funk any more or when I am getting to know someone.

I guess we will just see. I have been debating on putting a picture up but just don’t know. I would have sent one to a couple buy it don’t give me a option to send one in a private message. I have rewritten my profile I don’t know how many times I have no clue what to say in it. I don’t think its a good time I think I will just sit back and watch for a while and decide what to do when the right time comes.

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