{January 25, 2015}   Re: How Do You Decide

As you all know from How Do You Decide I been talking to a my friend again. I can’t decide if it is the wrong person at the right time for them, the right person the wrong time for me, the right person at the right time, if it’s just whatever when ever nothing much kind of thing. I just don’t know maybe I am looking to much into it.

I don’t know I know there were things said in the past and then dropped and things were said and we didn’t talk for a while. Then I met RC. Things weren’t supposed to be any more than just friends. But then he said things and then it just got avoided. Never brought back up. He said something that made me mad and I told him off and we didn’t talk for a while. Then we started talking here and there again and have since. But never more than just talking and it still never comes up.

The other night we were talking and he said something about not having new pictures. I said I hadn’t taken any in a while. He said how are you going to meet a man if you don’t have pictures to show. I send a huge laughing smiley face and said it hadn’t really been to high on my list. Of-course then he asked, why? I just said I want to but I need to make me happy with my life before I can think about being with someone else and having a relationship. And that I wanted to take things slow not rush into anything. That I didn’t want the kids to know I was seeing anyone or who I didn’t want meet their kids. At least for a while. That things went pretty fast last time and I didn’t do and take care of things I needed or wanted too. I said I should be ready in a month or so. If that made since.

He said yeah it did. I asked him what about him. He said he had talked to, went out with and hooked up with a few but none that really took care of his needs. So he was still looking. We talked and things off and on for a few days. One night I asked him so what needs do you have that haven’t been meet? That you are looking for someone for? He hasn’t responded since then. He hasn’t responded to something I sent before that but I figured he would after work then I sent that. I said something to him yestreday about going to do some stuff and then I would be free tomorrow evening. I told him to text me since he wasn’t on line much. Later I told him I was out and free I could come by. But I haven’t heard anything still. I know he seen what I said about needs but he hasn’t seen what I said after that.

He said a few times this week about coming over and getting together Saturday. But then nothing. So I am not sure what is going on. Last night wasn’t a really good night any way but thought I would stop over just talk and hang out.

I don’t know what to think now. Wonder if he got his daughter for the weekend but I have been over before when she was there. She knows me but then again he may not want her to tell her mom I was there either or that we are talking. She knows I watched her and things. Or maybe he has decided that it just isn’t the right time with everything going on with my dad and me saying that I wasn’t really ready for a relationship but maybe in a few months.

I don’t know, it would be nice now but I don’t want to mess things up either with all that is going on. But he is really pretty understanding. The main thing is with farther of the year and trying to get him out.

We were talking about it the other night he asked me to come over I told him I couldn’t he said he could come to me I told him he was here it wouldn’t be good. He laughed he said I can make him leave for you. I told him he is going to do something because if he don’t then I am going too I am not going to play this game any more. I will start calling the police when he starts his shit again and wants to punch holes in the walls and do the things he has been doing. Then they will tell him he can’t come back. So he better decide he wants to get a place now on his own before he is out and has no where to go and in trouble.

I am just done just like that night there is no reason he shouldn’t have been able to come over hang out and talk. Other people I want to have over or do things with and I can’t because he is here. Even just to do a dinner or what because it is to awkward for everyone knowing the way things are.

[…] where here and how I felt I wrote about it a few times the last couple weeks in How do You decide, Re:How Do You Decide, I have […]

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