Yesterday my big boy got up really upset and started crying when we started talking. He said he had a nightmare. He said grandpa was a ghost and he stole his van with him and his brother and sisters in it and kidnapped them. He said he took them to what looked like the library but it was dark. He let them go.
I said maybe he was just pulling a trick on mommy and trying to do something fun with you all. He said no was still really upset. I told him that ghost can’t drive cars and that grandpa would never kidnap him or the or the other kids. He said well they can if they haunt the car and take it over and what if grandpa haunted his van? I told him grandpa wasn’t going to do that and that people that love us and care about us don’t come back to haunt us when they die. He was having no part of that.
I told him that grandpa might be coming to stay with us and he said can’t we just go see him. He didn’t want him to stay with us. I asked him why he said he didn’t want him to die here. I told him it would be ok and that he wouldn’t stay here once he passed they would pick him up and do what needed to be done with him. He was talking about that what they do with you and all. I told him they take you to be barred or cremated or put in the mausoleum. He was asking what all that meant and why people wanted to do different stuff. He said he didn’t want to be melted to death so he didn’t want to be cremated. I told him he would already passed away he wouldn’t be alive if they did it but he didn’t have to do it. Then he said he didn’t want to be in the ground so he guess they could just stick him beside the wall. I told him they didn’t stick you beside the wall they put you in it. He looked so unsure then. I told him he didn’t have to worry about it right now he had a while to think about it learn more and decide.
He still says he don’t want grandpa to come here and to die here. I told him he needed to be taken care of and that he maybe coming here that it wouldn’t change anything if he was to die here. I told him even if he did he wouldn’t be a ghost his soul would go to heaven. That once you die it’s just your body there. I showed him his brothers stuffed bare and told him it was just like that just a body nothing else. He just said he knew but he still didn’t like the idea of him dying here that he would rather just go see him.
I guess that will be something we have to deal with if he ends up coming here to stay so that we can take care of him. I will just have to deal with that when it happens. I can only do so much and some things are just a part of life.
My kids have never really dealt with someone close to them dying or being sick and having to be taken care of. They have never been to a funeral or anything like that. So they have no idea what to expect. Unfortunately for them it is at such a young age. I went to my first funeral and dealt with the loss of someone close or I knew at 18. It just snowballed from there over the next 3 years. The last 12 or so have been good for family and close friends. So this is all so new and scary for them.