{February 2, 2015}   Less and Less Time

Seems like every time I go to see my dad I get to spend less and less time with him. We got there just before one today and was leaving to come home a little after one thirty.

We went in and he was eating lunch. He had a sandwich and a pudding cup. He was trying to eat it but having a hard time. I ask him if he wanted help he gave it to me to feed him. When he was done he laid back down I got rid of the trash and things. I sat there on the floor by his bed and held his hand talk to him some. I could tell he was just so tired. He closed his eyes and seem to be resting peacefully for a few minutes there. My brothers wife and daughter was home and they were doing stuff making noise and things. He wake up look, he looked like it startled him a few times. I asked him if he wanted us to go and let him rest and he shook his head yes. The kids came in and gave him hugs and things. I hugged him told him the boys have appointments the next few days I didn’t know if I would get back there before Thursday to have them call me if he needed me or anything. I may get back tomorrow but I really didn’t know if I would or not.

We have therapy tomorrow will take about 2 hours mid afternoon. The time we have to leave to get there the time we get out the afternoon is pretty much gone it’s dinner time. Then Wednesday they have two hours it’s the same way we have to be here by 1/1:30 so they can get drink go to the bathroom get snack if we been out. Then they do therapy until 4:15. I got home found a card they all are supposed to see the doctor again Thursday at 3:30 and we go back to Nemores for my little guys arm Friday. Hope he gets his cast off and the pins out. We probably won’t be back this way until later either but we will probably still stop and see him because I know he will want to show papa he got it off if he dose.

I try not to go to late in the day because I know he gets tired easy and by dinner time he is ready to just sleep. We didn’t get to go for a walk today. It started raining when we got there. My brother said something about when he was done with his lunch to take him outside if he wanted to go. I told him we couldn’t go for a walk but we could go sit on the porch if he wanted to but he didn’t. I don’t know if he just wasn’t feeling up to it or if he just didn’t want the hassle of the chair and putting it in and out really. I think he was just really tired. He just seemed so wiped out and he hadn’t done anything but eat and things. Said he had a hard time last night with dinner. Not so much stuff getting sick and keeping his food down as there is stuff in his lungs. He gets choked up from coughing and things. They also think he is bleeding inside from the tumor again. There isn’t really anything they can do. The doctor the other week said he was glad he wasn’t and was surprised but that it could start again. They could give him the blood transfusion but he don’t want it and I don’t know really how many they can give you or if it would really make much of a difference. If he is losing it like they are saying. I have to think he isn’t losing it to horribly fast or I would think something would have happen. But I don’t know all we can do is go be with him as much as we can.

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