The van has been having a problem with the oil the last week or so. I haven’t been driving it far to my dads and back is about it and close around the house to the store. I been trying to make it last until I can get the money to fix it or the truck or get something else. Yesterday it seemed to be worse when I went out to a few places I had to go. I wanted to go see my dad but was worried I would get stuck in it with the kids somewhere in the dark. I decided to wait until today and go.

Last night the dog got out I went to find her. I had all the kids in the van it started making a horrible sound and then smelled like something burning. I took it home parked it and got the kids out. We lifted the hood to look couldn’t figure out what it was. I got in and started it and one of the pulley’s flew off and landed under it. It was so hot it almost caught some pine needles under it on fire we had to get it from under there.

So now I am stuck and can’t get anywhere. I can’t up there to see my dad or anything. I have the appointment to get my little guys cast off tomorrow and I can’t get to it.

I called my dad today and told him the van broke down I couldn’t find a ride that I hope someone would fix it today if it wasn’t to bad and I could get there tomorrow. He was trying so hard to tell me something but I don’t know what it was he was trying to tell me. They said he hasn’t eaten in a couple days now. I feel like shit I can’t get up there to see him. I have two fucking vehicles sitting out there and can’t make one of them work enough to get there and see him. My little guy has been asking since Tuesday if we could go see grandpa.

I have not been handling then well at all and this is just pushing it over the edge. I am so tired and so my nerves are so gone. I just want to go to bed and not get up. It seems that anything and everything that could go wrong has just blown up. I can’t really do anything until my tax money gets here. Father of the year has been cut hours at work and missed a couple days with everything that’s going on. Money is so tight it isn’t even funny.


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