I was thinking about everything going on with father of the year, schooling the kids, me going back to school, trying to go back to work, and dealing with child support for my little one. It is a lot on my plate to deal with.

Schooling for me and the kids I think I have planed out and under control. I feel I can handle the going to school and schooling the kids fine. I already know that I will be doing my classes on line and at night after the kids go to bed. I will also have weekends or other days that he takes the kids for the night to do my school work and studying. I did really good with my other class and I did the work for it at night or on lunch. I know this is going to be more work than my other class, but I still think I have it. That leave’s the day’s and evenings open to do school with the kids and take them on field trips or what. We may go to a 5 day school week for them just so if I need to take a day here or there to get things done we don’t fall behind.

Dealing with father of the year and him showing up and taking them when he wants and paying if and when he feels like it has got to come to an end. I decided today I am going to tell them that I want child support from him when I go talk to them about RC. They will give it to me because right now they are living with me. They will tell him if he wants custody or visitation then he needs to take me to court. I don’t figure he is going to take me to court at all. If he don’t that is fine. He can still see them when he wants and things. But at least they will make sure he is doing his part. If he don’t there will be records of it to show through a 3rd party. I won’t be my word against his and he can’t tell others he is paying or fight with me and tell me he paid. The other day he was telling me he did to pay me when he first moved out. He didn’t pay me for 6 months when he first moved out.

The child support thing with RC shouldn’t be horribly hard if they will look in the computer and see where he is working with his social security number. I gave it to them and it is on file with the court house. I know they probably aren’t going to want to or say they can’t. They are probably going to say I have to have a address to send him papers to. But I think I may have found a way to find out. I have just been waiting to check into that until I know I have someone who is going to do something. I don’t want to pull strings and get the information now and then it be to old he moved or something in the mean time. I want to get it right then so it is the most up to date.

The thing I am most worried about right now is the getting a job. I worry about it because I have to be there the time they say the day they say. I have to ask so far out if I need a day off and they don’t like you to ask for days off or if you do they don’t want you asking for to many off. I know that I am going to have to go to the school to take my final test for each of the classes I am going to take. They will be on different days most likely. I will have to take off to go to the child support office and I pretty much have to come in whenever they ask me to they don’t work around you. If you don’t go when they tell you they drop your case and you have to start over and they drop any help you get. If they don’t let me do father of the year and RC’s at the same time I have to go back different days for each of them how ever many times that takes. I know I have to go for a dna test with Father of the year and RC is probably going to want one as well. Thinking he is going to get out of paying boy is he wrong. I can say with out the shadow of a doubt 100% would bet any amount of money even my life on is, I know who all 4 of my kids fathers are and there are only two. There is no way shape or form that they could be anyone else. My older 3 are father of the years and my little bitty is RC’s. I don’t want to start a job that I am going to have to be asking for time off all the time.

I don’t know what made me think of it but talking to my friend I did. I am thinking about taking out a student loan to pay my rent for the next 7 months. I would have June through Decembers paid. With the little bit I get each month right now I should be able to keep the bills paid. Without a job I can’t pay the bills and rent. I didn’t want to take loans out unless I had to. But this might be the best way to do it. Since my classes are going to be shorter than normal term classes too. This will let me be more focused as well. I could wait to take care of things with RC and Father of the year but that is something that really needs to be taken care of right a way. Father of the year for sure because until someone steps in and tells him this is how it is and that he can’t show up a day or two after he was supposed to be here and pick them up and that when he is supposed to have them he has to get them and that if something like work comes up it is up to him to have a back up plan for them not just call say he isn’t coming and leave it to me to figure out at last minute. I don’t always have someone I can call and it shouldn’t just be dumped on me to figure out. School and my job are just as important as his. I have to be responsible and have everything covered when I have them. He needs to take responsibility and do the same. What if they were at his house he got called in or something happen? I was at work what would he do? He also isn’t going to pay if they don’t tell him he needs to help I think the big thing with that is like I said before. He feels if he don’t pay I can’t then I will say oh no we are going to be homeless again come back home and pay the bills. Then he can walk back in and act like one big happy family. It’s all about control with him why he just calls and says he isn’t coming. He don’t show I can’t go to that interview, I can’t go put in that application for that job. I can’t get a job so then I can’t pay the bills he will have to move back in and pay them. So he thinks. I have to take the control away from him as soon as possible. I would have already been to the office down there but I wasn’t sure how to handle it and take care of it and they are supposed to be contacting me. Soon as I get done with the school this week I am going rather they have contacted me or not.

The other debate is to look into seeing if I could get a business loan. I have thought about it before but never did it. I always figure they aren’t going to give me one because I don’t have much income coming in. But then the other week I was talking with someone and said that to them. They looked at me like I was stupid and said if you start a business that is your job and income that is what they are going to consider. I was like uh well duh I guess so I never really thought about it that way. But I also have no assets really and not that great of credit. But for some reason it has been on my mind a lot the last few days that I should try this. I keep saying I can’t because I have to bring enough money in to cover the bills and things for a business and home. But if I pay my rent up and can pay the bills with what I already got coming in. Then that is even better because then I only have to worry about bring in enough money to cover the bills of the company and the loan if I get one. I won’t be so stressed about trying to pay the bills at two place. I can set my own hours. I can hire someone to work part time when I need to take a few hours or a day off. The kids could come with me and sit do their work or help out.

I also figured if I am going to get a lone to pay the rent up for the rest of the year then I would pay all put like $2000 at one time. I would take part of that two and put away just in case I needed anything. Like right now I am worried the starter is going on my truck. If that happens I don’t know that I could buy one keep the bills going. But I could buy one out of that money then put a little back at a time until I got it al back in there. I would also take out of the two and buy all the kids lessons for the year out of it. I will get most of it back through my sons scholarship and as soon as I got it back I would just put it back up with the rest. So even though I spent the money on that it wouldn’t be 100% gone I would be getting it back. If I done that my rent would be paid up for 4 months and then still have about 4 in the bank. I just wouldn’t be able to touch it for any reason unless like I said my truck broke down I needed a part or I got some thing for school that I knew I was going to get the money back for. I even thought about taking out a couple extra hundred just for school stuff for the kids. That way I can keep rolling it over once I get the refund from the scholarship on what I buy. I can put it a way to buy something else when it is needed or go ahead and order other stuff we need if there is stuff. Because that is a big part of the problem right now is that we know what we want to use we just don’t have the upfront money to get it. Father of the year was supposed to give us some out of his tax money or his vacation pay to get some stuff and we were going to just keep rolling it. Then he decided not to.

Anyway that is my debates now. I have to decide quick if this is what I want to do or not because whatever I am going to do I have to do Thursday. I think the cut off date is Friday for loans and aid.

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