My 4 year old told me he wanted to tell me a story. Then asked did I know the 4? I told him no but to let me get ready to write it down before he started. I knew this would be good. So here it is just as he told it to me.


Once there was daddy bear mommy bear baby bear children bear. they were tasting their  porridge daddy said his was to hot mommy bear said hers was cold baby said his porridge was to smelly and children bear said his porridge was to orangey. so they went up in the mount en and then they walked on the mountain. then goldilocks locks came and ate their bowels. she said daddy bear was to hot she tasted mommy bear and it was to cold next she tried baby bears and and said it was to smelly then she tried children bears and said it was just right. Then she checked out the chairs. First she tried out daddy bear chair said this chair is to hot then she tried mommy’s bear chair and said this chair is to cold brr. then her tried baby bear chair she said I might fall over in this chair. Then she tried children’s chair and said this chair this right and it is also broke. then she got tired and then her tried daddy bear bed out and her said this bed is to hot and then her tried mommy’s bed out and said this bed is to cold. then she tried baby bear bed and said this is to windy and then she tried children bears bed out and she said it was just right. they had video games and she said this video game is to easy this one is to bolder then she said children bear video game is to good and that her love it. then it was time for the 4 bears to come back and daddy bear said someone been eating out of my bowl and mommy’s said someone was eating out of my bowl baby bear said someone been eating out of my bowl boo ho then children bear said someone been eating my bowl and it is all gone. daddy bear was angry someone said someone been sitting in my chair. Momma bear was so angry said someone was sitting in my chair too. baby bear was angry said someone was sitting in my chair. then children bear said my chair has been sit in and all broken. then they went into their bed and oh my bed it been sleep in daddy bear said some body been sleeping in my bed and baby bear then someone was sleeping in my bed. children bear said someone been sleeping in my bed and was still sleeping until she went into our vedio games. daddy and mommy bear said someone was playing my game baby bear said somebody been playing my game. chidlren bear said someone been playing my game and there they are. then she jumped out the window and never went back for the purge again and they lived happy ever after. The End

{July 26, 2015}   Day One at The Barn

Yesterday was mine and my big boys first day working with the horses. We only got an hour in because bad weather was coming so they started early turning the horses out and bring the others in. We mucked a stall or two and took hay to most the horses. We mostly got the hay in the barrel so it could be brought to the stalls since most has horses in them. The girl that was showing us what needed done and how to do it took it in to the stalls. They don’t let anyone in the stalls unless they have been there a while, really know what they are doing and know the horses. Like she said some are great and give you no problems others sometimes will give you problems try to push and get out or take the food not want to get out of the way for you to do what you need to.

I can see this is going to be a good experience for my big boy to really get down and do the lobar not just riding. He did some before but not a lot just enough to show them and for them to see what it was like and they did it in groups so it wasn’t on just one. That was good because they were smaller then too. But I think this is going to be good to help with his upper body strength that he really needs to work on and with balance and coronation. There is a lot of work taking the wheel barrels back and forth to move stuff. He had a few slips yesterday trying to push it and get it under control making it go where he needed and things but he was doing pretty good by the end of the day. He loved it and wanted to do more and stay longer.

The only problem I had I’m worried about is the hay, Yesterday I noticed once we started messing with it my nose drove me crazy. Just very itchy and uncomfortable, I figured because I wasn’t use to being around it, it would get better the more I am out there. But then I noticed when I got home that my throat felt tight and my face felt puffy. It bothered me the rest of the evening, but today when I got up I feel fine. My nose isn’t bothering me and my nose feels fine. I didn’t mess with or get into anything out there that I have not been around before or wasn’t the day we went out for orientation other than the hay.

When we went out they showed us where the hay was, how much to give and things like that, but we didn’t touch it or get that close to it. When we were around the horses before I never messed with it or got into it like we did when we were working yesterday. Yesterday we were pulling it off the bail, getting big arm full and putting in the barrel to take to the stalls dumping out into the stalls. That was enough to cause a problem. I am going to keep going, I just have to try and find something I can take before I go or when I leave to help with the allergies. I just hope I can find something that won’t make me sleepy. Benadril makes me pass out even the smallest amount. Most everything dose because I take nothing ever until it is like this and I have no chose.

If it seems to get worse or I can’t control it then I will have to tell them and find other stuff to do other than mess with the hay. It shouldn’t be a problem if I can get there to get my training because then I can work with the horses in the back and that is more training and things than feeding and cleaning stalls. I guess we shall see.

Freedom of speech is not just spoken words, freedom of speech is about written words and actions as well. Seeing how speech is our way of expressing our thoughts and feelings about things we encounter in life, there should be no limits put on speech.If we let the government starts putting limits on our right to freedom of speech, we risk ending up like North Korea, Eritrea, and Saudi Arabia to name a few.

In the case of Tinker v. Des Moines, 393 U.S. 503 (1969), the courts ruled that students could wear black armbands to protest the. Today we see shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and bags telling us why we shouldn’t support this cause, organization, or person for whatever reason. Even not saluting the flag or burning it in protest, are rights protected under freedom of speech as determined by, West Virginia Board of Education v. Barnette, 319 U.S. 624 (1943) and Texas v. Johnson, 491 U.S. 397 (1989);United States v.Eichman, 496 U.S. 310 (1990).

A lot of people are not happy when they see or hear of people doing these kinds of things, they feel a stop should be put to it. In putting a stop to it you are now taking away their rights to freedom of speech just because they are doing something different than you would. How can you tell people they can’t feel or think this way or that? Our thoughts and feelings are what makes us human and different from each other. We really have no control over how we feel about things, we can change or mind about the way we think about something but if truly don’t feel that way it isn’t going to last long or we are not going to be happy because we aren’t being true to ourselves. In the case of Tinker v. Des Moines, 393 U.S. 503 (1969) it was said “Students do not shed their constitutional rights at the schoolhouse gate. ”Why should we lose them to our country or any other group just because our views don’t match up to theirs?

Letting the government or any other group put limits on our right to freedom of speech is a dangerous form of control for them to have. We run the risk of ending up like countries such as Eritrea, North Korea, and SaudiArabia.According to Community To Protect Journalist, they are the top three censored countries and restrict journal is the most. They are only allowed to report what the countries say or risk imprisonment. There is no going to your computer or pulling out your phone to try to get news or information from other places because they not only have tight restrictions on journalist but the people of the countries as well. Internet is dial up at best and heavily restricted as are cell phones. On the site it says not only is Eritrea ranked number on as most restricted it has the least amount of cell phone users in the world at just 5.6 percent of the population. North Korea is only slightly higher with 9.7 percent of the population having cell phones. They can not account for the ones smuggled in from China.

These are just are the reasons I feel we should not put limits on our rights to freedom of speech and a few examples of why.

{July 23, 2015}   The Hunt Continues

I applied for around 40 between the third and sixth and have heard nothing back. I have talk to them and all they say is we will go through the applications and call you back if we are interested. I am now filling out more applications but feel I am running out of places to apply at this point. I am going to have to take another loan out to pay my bills and it is just going to put me out more in the future. Right now it is all I can do other than get rid of and pack all my stuff and go move in with my mom and we all know how that was and will be.

She called me again the other day all upset because she may have to move again. She don’t know why I won’t just come over there. When she is the one that has no income coming in at all and lives in a smaller place than me and the kids. She wouldn’t have to get rid of anything to come over here, all her stuff could be put in storage. But my house isn’t good enough for her. She done said she couldn’t watch my kids because it would be to many hours for her to work if she gets the disability so she couldn’t do both. That it wouldn’t be enough for her to just stay watch them. But when she called she tried to use the well if I come over there I can’t watch the kids because of the way things are there. Um hello it would be easier to watch them here than her place they have their rooms to go to they have the back room to do their school stuff they have the house to do whatever in and a huge front and back yard if she wanted to take them out or the carport. not just sitting huddled in her little living room at her house. Just her way of trying to manipulate things to the way she wants. I said that’s fine you already said you couldn’t anyway. Then it was how she could if I was there but blah blah. Then it was she wouldn’t be able to afford a place again if she loses this one and she would be stuck with me forever if she had to come over here. At this point I don’t know when or where I would move if I had to leave here. She cant afford the place she is in now she has to have a room mate if she is there or somewhere else so it isn’t going to make a difference either way. IF she leave there and gets one to move somewhere else or if she finds one to stay there.

A year or more ago she could have filed for all this why we were there and she sat there and didn’t. She come up with every excuse in the book to not file for it. On top of it made until no one could stand to live there with her and took advantage of it all the way around. When I was there I hadn’t not even a dollar to get gas with from trying to keep on top of all the bills and pay stuff. I couldn’t even walk out of the house to get away from her. God forbid if you did go out of the house to go to the store or something when you came back in it was don’t touch this don’t touch that don’t watch here go watch there you may have picked up whatever the bug was going around at the time. I couldn’t cook dinner without being told don’t put the meat here don’t touch that you touched the meat the kitchen needs bleached down 100 times because you took the meat from the freezer out of the pack and dumped it in the pot never laid it any where or touched anything but it still needs bleached down. I can’t live that way. We are clean and I make sure not to cross contaminate but I am not extreme ocd about things and I am not living that way. I wouldn’t do it and it would be a big fight why she was in there on top of me why I was trying to do something bleaching the kitchen down. Then she start oh the bleach was close to this or that it may have gotten in there through it away and cook something else or whatever. It just goes on and on. She won’t take anything to help her with it and I am not living with it. I don’t have to and I won’t. At this point I had to go somewhere I don’t know where me and the kids would go but it wouldn’t be there.

She is my mom and everything but you can’t help someone who don’t help their self and you don’t help someone who cries for the help but then has to have it 100% her way and make life miserable for everyone else. When she is in my house I just tell her this is how it is and if you don’t like it then there is the door you don’t have to be here no one is forcing you to stay here you are here because you want to be or need to be and we are helping you. This is how we do things and this is how its going to stay what you decide to do is up to you and fine with me.

Everyone say oh that’s your mom you can’t just put her out or tell her to leave whatever. But I am not putting her out I am just letting her know that this is my house she can stay but this is how things are and we are not changing how we live and do things because they aren’t how she wants them done. It is up to her to stay or go and if she goes that is no her no one told her she had to. You can’t walk in anyone’s house and tell them how to do things and just take over.

I am just stressing because I didn’t want to take more loans and really thought I would have a job by now and be ok. I hate taking loans right now because I know I am going to need loans later to help pay for classes my grand will only pay for so much and I used part of it before to pay for school. But I really have no other chose and don’t know what else to do other than take out another one.

I also feel that I can’t just pack my stuff and take the kids and go there because if I do I am never going to get things straight for me and the kids. If I keep giving my place up and going to stay with someone when things aren’t working I am never going to get things worked out for good once and for all. I will just keep going in the same circle. I can’t do that i have to work things out once and for all and get me and the kids on the right track and able to make it with out worrying about this once a year or every few years.

{July 16, 2015}   Working with the horses again

The last week and a half I have been going night and day on next to now sleep. I have been working on this research paper for school on top of taking my midterm for one and filling out about 40 job applications. Tomorrow well today I guess it’s after midnight I have to take my other one. Then I have to go to aid and turn in a bunch of paperwork and hope I can sign up for classes for the fall.

I need to do 20 hours of valenteer time for my Personal finance class by the end of the month. I had been debating on if I was going to do it or not since it is not required. While I was looking for a job I came across a place looking for people. I decided to call. I talked to the lady and read about them on their site. I decided I would take a ride and check them out. When I talked to the lady she said my older two kids could help as well. So me, my big boy and my friend went today and did orientation. We start Sunday after noon.

We are going to be working with rescue horses, from the racetrack. They bring them in train them and then find them homes. We will start out taking them in and out, cleaning up and feeding them. Once we are able to finish our training we will be able to do more with them. I just have to find someone to watch the two little ones so that we can do our training on Wednesdays.

We are all excited, for every 12 hours you do you get a lesson for $20. They teach you everything you need to know but riding, so if you want to be able to ride you have to know how or take lessons. My oldest is already really good from her lessons before, she wants to take classes to do shows. I already told me big boy if he wants to take lessons then he has to work and put in the hours and then I will come up with the $20. The hours I put in are going to be for me to take lessons and for my little guy to maybe take some. I think he can come help with us and if he can he will be going some times but not all the time. He is just to much to keep up with and try to work. My older two have to go when I am with them as well since they are under 13. Right now we are just going to do it on Saturday and Sunday after noons. This way father of the year can take the two little ones why me and the older two go work. Saturdays he works half a day and Sunday me and the kids go to church. Once we find someone to help with the little ones some we will go other times as well. Like I told them I have to find a job and it will all have to work around that as well.

But I am so glad I found it because the kids love to be around the horses and I loved being out there with them even though I just watched and walked around and looked at the animals. I can’t wait until we get to go Sunday.

{July 4, 2015}   Pygmy Rattlesnake

That’s what was in my yard today, after seeing it confirmed the lady was right when she said that’s what was on my truck (No Days Complete without A Panic Attack Right?).

Today father of the year was here seeing the kids he took the dogs out. He came in said that when they stepped off the porch they stepped right down across one. Some how him and the dogs got away from it with out getting bit and it moved. He went over to see what it was and it started shaking it’s tail at him. Looking at the markings and looking them up that’s what they are. I had been wondering if there weren’t snakes in the yard the dogs have a few spots they dig out I can tell they are after something not just digging. This one right next to the spot they always go to. I had flooded the hole last night too. He didn’t see where it went. He knows what way but don’t know if it went to the tree by my room or on out over by the house next to us.

Looking up about them it seems they like to live in or around threes. I guy was talking about finding them in the palm and pine stuff when cleaning in up to two feet of water. There are a bunch of Palm and Pine tress in my yard. I have to park right under the most of them as they are right on the edge of the driveway and hang over it.

Now I am trying to figure out what to do to get rid of them before one of the kids or dogs get bitten. My little one has been going out with me when I go to walk the dogs. She runs around the yard and sits to pick the little yellow wild flowers. Now I am scared to let her out there or to walk the dogs. I was reading and it said even though they are poisons most the time not to bad to people because they are so small. But they can be deadly, with my little ones being so small I am sure it would really effect them.

I can’t call someone to come figure out where they are and take care of them for me. So I am trying to figure out what to do myself. I am so scared they are going to get in my house or in my truck again. I wish it wasn’t the holiday or weekend, someone said to call animal control and the fish and wildlife game warden to see what they suggest or if there is something they can do since they are poisons, I have kids and am a few doors down from a school. I hope they can tell me something to do. I want to put out some kind of repellent but I am wondering how well it will work seeing as we get a good rain storm at least once a day right now. I read moth balls and kitty litter but moth balls are bad for other animals and kids. I just want to get enough to put all over my yard it look like it snowed moth balls and kitty little all over it, if it would really work and wouldn’t hurt other stuff.

{July 3, 2015}   An Interview

I had a job interview Tuesday for the job I talked to the guy about when I had to do all that with my truck. I interviewed with the guy I talk to then and the manager. They said that they were going to talk it over with their boss and he would call me for a second interview if he was interested. I haven’t heard back from them yet. Think I am going to call back today just to follow up.

I would really like the job the hours are 7:45am to 2 pm or 1 pm to 7/7:30pm they are closed most major holidays and you only work one Sunday a month. He said that most my days would be the evening shift and it would be part time. I would rather have all evening shifts it would be better for me. I could work with the kids and do what I needed to do with them in the day time before work they could work on finishing their work why I was at work. I wouldn’t need a sitter as long because when father of the year got off he could come over and sit with the kids until I get off. Plus if I work the weekend he would be off in time to watch them I wouldn’t needed need a sitter then as well.

My mom went and checked on a job and is probably getting it so she isn’t going to be watching the kids but not very surprised by that. I talk to a friend about watching them and she said she would do it she is looking for work right now too. This would let her work pretty set hours, she would be able to go to school and still go home with her husband at night and be with him. She wouldn’t have to worry about working or going to school in the evening. They would get off at the same time he would pick her up on the way home.

I just hope that I get it or something soon before she finds something else because if she dose I don’t know what I will do then. I hate the idea of getting someone I don’t know to come in and watch my kids even with my older two being as old as they are. I wish I could just find a few kids to watch in my home and not have to worry about it. I guess we shall see what happens.

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: