I have all but $50 of my rent money for tomorrow. I knew I would not have the $50 because I have been paying on the bills and had to pay the last little bit I had on the water. I couldn’t wait to pay it. I tell father the year weeks ago I needed $50 for the rent he said he would have it this past Friday when he got paid. He didn’t bring it to me and I ask for it today he has spent it. He had $32. He managed t0 come up with $8 more before he got here with it. I’m asking him what happen he told me he was going to have the money no problem. He says I thought I did I didn’t count I shouldn’t have spent that money at the store the other day. I asked him to get something at the store we wanted to eat the other day and he got it. But I also ask him if he had enough and still had the money he needed for the rent if he did that he said yes. It wasn’t something we had to have or needed just something we wanted. We could have gotten something different or nothing. That still would have left him $10 short even if he hadn’t spent that money. I said I thought when you spent that you said you had all the rent money. I thought I did I should have counted what I had. I said if walked around and just thought about everything and didn’t make sure nothing would ever get paid or taken care of. If you had put it away by itself or checked when I asked then you would have known. Well I thought so I wasn’t worried about it why are you mad at me, he says.

I don’t know why I am mad really, Maybe because I am stretching every dollar I get we sit here for month or more at a time not able to go anywhere or do anything, because he isn’t paying anything. He comes off with well you act like it’s my fault. WHAT who’s fault it is? You have 3 kids and you pay nothing to help support them and you buy nothing they need and ask for food to be brought with them when they come over. Nothing is ever his fault, it isn’t his fault he hit the car at the auction, it isn’t his fault he rear ended the other car, it isn’t his fault he hit the pole at the gas station tearing the tool box up, not his fault that he got demoted to the shop because of it and in doing so last half his pay. It’s all someone else fault, but there was no one with him when he done any of it, the one care was empty and parked and I am sure that pole didn’t just jump out in front of him. Just like it isn’t his fault that his license got suspended over the one he hit the people. So he couldn’t go try to find another job, making more money. It’s other companies faults they don’t want to hire him when they see all he has had happen in the last two years and that he has had his license supervened. It isn’t his fault he don’t count his money out put what needs to be paid on stuff to the side or know what he has that can be spent and keep track of it. That is someone else fault too. But he is the only one that has access to his money and dose anything with it.

Whats crazy is he really feels that way like none of it is his fault there is nothing he could have done or should have done to keep any of it or anything at all that ever happens to him from happening. I don’t get how you can be that way or think that way. I have had a lot of shit happen in my life and I can look back and go yeah I shouldn’t have done that or I should have done that different. And if you say something to him your attacking him your trying to make him look like the bad guy. I’m not trying I don’t have to try and make you look like anything you do a fine job of that yourself. I try really hard to understand that yes he has problems, issues or whatever you want to call it. But I also know that he isn’t stupid. It just pisses me off he can’t even come off $50.

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