I haven’t been to work since Wednesday and then I worked half a day and went home. I was to sick to keep sitting there and hurting. I have been sick for a while, I wrote Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree was just a week before and I had been sick a while then. I thought it was the tree but got worse. Well the swelling in my face and neck went down for a few days so I thought I was better. Well then Tuesday night it was back and Wednesday it was worse and hurting. It wasn’t hurting in my mouth it was all up the right side of my head. I still wasn’t really coughing up anything and if I did it was clear and like water. I couldn’t get in anywhere to see anyone Wednesday or Thursday so I ended up going back to the er and this time I took my big boy with me because he was coughing and snotty too. His insurance is as messed up as mine so he can’t go to his doctor. Mine was so much worse than the other day with the swelling and pain all in the side of my face, under my neck and in my ear.

I told them when we got in there I had been there last week and was worse now that both the little kids were on meds and getting better but that I never got any and now was worse than before. I also told them I needed to get him seen and something because he was getting it and that I was messing work with all this and he caught it from me or one of the little ones who got it from me. They looked at me gave me penicillin and hydrocodones. Then gave him nothing and said oh its a virus.

I am still home hoping to be able to go back to work tomorrow. I have been on the penicillin every 6 hours and the hydrocodones every 6 hours since I got them Wednesday evening. Now last night and today I am getting stuff out of there more than I have been and it is nasty colored, I keep smelling something funny everyone else says they smell nothing and I have this nasty taste in my mouth. If the meds were working seems that I shouldn’t have color to it now three days into being on them. I am also still swelled up under my neck and some threw my face. I am not sure what to do at this point. Today is the first day I haven’t had to take the hydrocodones every 6 hours. Up until today if I didn’t take them all the time like it said I would be in so much pain I was in tears and about to come unglued from the pain and every little thing bothered me from just someone walking through the house.

I just got home from taking my big boy to urgent care because he has been saying for the last few hours his face is hurting in his jaw, cheek and around his eyes and forehead. I took him in and the doctor acted like I was stupid or wasting his time. Said well yeah I think it is just a virus as well but if you want meds I can give them to you and gave him meds. I told him we were all on them he said are they getting better I told him yes since they been on the meds, that I had only been on them a few days that I felt better as far as pain and things even thought i was still swelled up. He just said well it should have went down if the meds were working. I told him how I was coughing up all this nasty stuff and things he just acted like he didn’t want to be in there and walked out. I don’t know what this is but I just want to be over it and I didn’t want him to get this bad with it because I don’t want him to have to take a bunch of stuff for pain like I have had to take.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and hope I don’t get fired. I know now I probably won’t get my promotion or the job I wanted to be on since I have missed so much time now. I hope I still have a job of any kind when I get back really. I don’t know what I will do if I lose this but there was no way I could go in the pain I was in and as bad as this was swollen. I showed them before I left and I have called the leave line each day so I hope that they keep me on for something.

Father of the year got a job and is supposed to start tomorrow and I don’t know what we are going to do for a sitter. At this point I told him he is going to have to figure it out if the sitter can’t watch them tomorrow or until they are over this. I can’t lose my job and not have any money coming in. I don’t think I will get any tax money this year and I put my classes off until summer so I won’t get any money from school either. He does not give me a dime for anything or help get the kids any clothes shoes or nothing so him having a job, keeping a job or whatever to do with his job is the last of my worries at this point. He has to be there before me so I am sure he will probably try to leave before I get there with the kids so I will probably have to get up and take them early even though he was supposed to come here to watch them because his place is a mess and he can’t really have them there. I am not worried about him leaving before I get there because he is never up and leaving on time anyway. If I get there about the time he should be walking out the door to leave he will probably be just getting up. He says well no one cares if he has a job blah blah, when he hasn’t cared all this time if I had one or not.

I am tired I still feel like crap and swollen all under my neck. I really don’t feel like going and going out in the cold but I have to in hopes of saving my job and not getting fired. If I get fired at this point I am sunk. I should be ok but because of the divorce I running into more road blocks everything I try to do to get ahead and help me and the kids. Just like filing taxes and getting health insurance to get things I need taken care of. He just acts as if it is no big deal and he don’t care. Well he isn’t acting I know it is no big deal to him and he don’t care. It just makes me so mad, then I am supposed to care if he has a job or keeps it. I had everything worked out so that I would be caught up and have a little money ahead but now I missed so much work I will be lucky to get a little paid on each of the bills much less caught up and ahead. I feel like we are being so attacked right now and have no idea what way to turn.

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