Since we haven’t gotten the divorce final yet me and father of the year have to file taxes together. We can each file our own but then we don’t get the credits we should filing that way. I get credit for school and the kids. If I file my own I will get less than $500 back. If we file together we will get back way more than that because we can get the credits. If he files alone he may even end up owing. But father of the year still owes a ton of money in student loans that he has done nothing about other than throw the letters in the trash when they come in the mail. Now if we file together they will keep all of it for what he owes in loans. I have been telling him for months he needs to fix it and take care of it. I have been telling him the last few weeks to call and get it take care of so we can file and he just says ok or his famose excuses. He don’t have time, he hasn’t gotten to it, he has to work, he stubbed his big toe. He gets off in time to call them but yet I have told him to call the last two days when he got off but he didn’t. Who knows what his excuse is for that.
He knows I need the money, he knows that I have been off work and probably will be for another week or two and that I missed work being sick and will probably miss some from having to have this operation done. I think he wants to just see us get put out again so we have to go back my moms. He knows I won’t do that and thinks that I will let him come back here to keep from having to go back to her house. He is stupid because he could use the money he is getting back too. He could get caught up on his bills and things. He don’t like it that it will let me take care of what I need to take care of and have some left to put up for savings if I get back to work. He don’t ever want me to have any money at all extra and if I am behind and trying to play catch up or juggle everything around to keep it all going is even better to him. Before when he was here if he found out I had any money at all he would refuse to pay anything or give me money for anything until he knew I had spent all mine and had none. I would hide what I did have and he would search until he found it. I tried putting it in my bank account and he waited until i was sleeping took my card and checked the balance on it. I guess he ask the kids for the number because he knew they used it sometimes. It just pisses me off because I had plan to pay the lawyer to get all the paperwork done and the divorce back in front of the judge. He knows he would get nothing or close to nothing back if I don’t file with him and file the kids because I am claiming them if i file on my own. Like I told him before I am putting them on mine if I have to file because he hasn’t paid anything for them all year why should he get a bunch of money back for them to blow like he dose his paycheck every week and still not buy them anything and me do it all. Not going to happen.
So now I am trying to figure out something I can do the next few months from home until I get called back to work and this operation taken care of. I would like to try something why I am waiting this time and if I find something that I can really make some money at then I may just keep doing it instead of going back to work. I was hoping to use a little of my tax money for that as well but can’t now until he fixes all this. I just can’t wait to get this divorce done. I have to get it done right away if I do get any tax money because I am not going to keep living like this. I’m just so tired of fighting and living like this, I’m tired of not having money and living check to check. I am really not use to living like this and not having a little money to go do something or take care of things that come up. Its been a few years but I still just can’t get use to it. I am just so tired and fight being depressed and trying to get things turned around. It seems like something always happens. Just like now I should be caught up and be ok util I go back to work but then missed all that and didn’t get caught up yet.