The other day Father of the Year was here after I got my Name changed finally and I said something about getting my drivers license changed and waiting on my social security card.
He got all pissy. He said I don’t know why you are in such a rush to do all this.
I said because I only have so many days after it is done to change it at most places like the DMV and with my insurance licences. With my insurance one I have 30 days, if it was still for bail bonds I would only have 10. Then if I change it at the DMV and not the school when I go to get into other classes or have to show id for something I am going to be in the computer under one name and my id is going to be under something different and they are going to question it and give me a hard time. I have to show my id every time I take a proctored test or talk to anyone there about anything. The odds are if I show for a test and it is not the same name they will not let me do the test and then I am in a lot of trouble.
He just kept saying he didn’t understand why I was doing it.
I wasn’t thinking about what he was getting at to start with, I was doing other stuff at the time half paying attention to him. I asked him what he meant because I just explained to him why I was trying to track everything down and do it.
He said because most women keep the guys name until they get remarried again or whatever. You always say once family always family but you can’t wait to change your name.
I said oh so over all why I changed it to start with. I said because I was never treated like family, a lot of couples are together for year and are close to their in laws and still have or keep a relationship with them to some degree. I said I was never treated like I was a part of your family by anyone other than your grandma.
For the first time he said yeah your right, true or something like that. In other words he knew what I was saying was true and he agreed with me. Any other time I would say something like that he always says no that is not true or they all like you. His grandma is the sweetest little old lady I have probably ever met and his older brother is really nice and has always been and we talk and have conversations, he seems like he is really interested not just trying to be nice or save face for the way the rest of them all. He ask about how the kids are and how I am what we are doing for school the things the kids were learning and doing and thought it was great I was homeschooling them. He is very educated and teaches and been over private schools. He knows that I had not been to school other than vocational things but never had anything bad to say or say he thought they would be better off in school. He knows that I am always learning and taking classes of some kind to learn and that I’m not stupid or couldn’t go to school just that it wasn’t the right time for me yet.
But other than them two they are the only ones that like I said that treated me like family. So yeah I am going to take my last name back. I am only related to them by marriage not blood. By blood I am me and that is the name I want.
But I truly think the fact that I changed my name back to my maiden name bother him more than the divorce it’s self. When I filled out the divorce papers the first time as a last effort to get him to see things were really bad and we really need to work on them the only thing he ever said about them was you want to change your name back? That’s a slap in the face. It just blows my mind that is what bothers him most out of all this. I guess to him it was one last way to feel like he had some control or power. I don’t know. I kind of find it entertaining when he makes me mad about something I find a way to bring up going somewhere else and getting my name changed with everything there and having that place or the other marked of the list. I know I know that is probably horrible and childish but sometimes he just pushes those buttons. Unlike him I will not say something that is not true just to get at him or what. But if that will just get under his skin and he will stew on it for a while that is on him.