{September 24, 2016}   No Show Father of the Year

Father of the Year is supposed to have the kids tomorrow, it is 12:08 am and he has not shown yet. I have text and ask him and he says he is busy he will be here when he is done. I have to be at training by 9 am and have no clue if I even have a sitter. He is supposed to have them every other weekend and come see them take them for a little while during the week one day. He has yet to have them at all for any over night stays or even take them to his house yet since the divorce was granted the first week of August. His everything is based off of if he has them over nights how many and all that.

He is also supposed to let me know so many days ahead of time if he is not taking them on his days or times, if he is going to be late or anything like that. If I have other things to do he is supposed to make arrangements for a baby sitter. He has never once told me he wasn’t coming or asked if I had things to do or asked if he needed to find a sitter. I am so keeping track of it all so that when I get ready to move out of state and go to court and to get the paperwork saying I can he can’t fight it. I am going to have a placed picked I am going to show them the cost of living what I would be making what I will be paying out, how much better the schools are, how much lower the crime rate is and all that as well. He says he isn’t going to fight me and we can go but I am going to have it all ready in case he tries to because we all know how he is and how he is when others get in his ear and starts shit. When he says he wants to keep being able to see the kids like he does now and don’t want to go to long without seeing them I can pull the sheet out and go you mean all these times that you see them? Oh wait you missed this time, this time, that whole month, this month here so what times have or do you see them when they are right here?

I am just so aggervated I told him the other day I needed him to take them this weekend so I could finish my training and get someone to come over and help me do some things here. He got all bent out of shape over that. He wanted to know who I was having come over and all that. I said it isn’t really any of your business and I don’t know who but whoever I can find that will help me get things I need done and can move stuff and do the stuff I can’t. I don’t need the kids here in the way why we are trying to get it all done and taking up more of their time than needs to be. Who are you seeing? Why won’t you tell me? On and on about it. I told him again not that it is any of his business or did I have to tell him but I wasn’t seeing anyone but if that made him feel better thinking I did then by all means go right ahead.

He started about he had a right to know because of the kids and I had to tell him who was going to be around his kids and he wanted to meet them. I said no I don’t have to tell you anything or let you meet anyone regardless of the kids number one. Number two there isn’t anyone around the kids so I don’t need to tell you anything even if I had to tell you because of the kids. Well it don’t matter if your seeing someone then I need to know because they will be at some point and you will have them around them. I said again no you don’t no where does it say that I have to tell you who I talk to, date, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend wise or anything else. And no they are not going to meet the kids or be around the kids because I am not like you and use them to go meet any random person I meet on line at one of these dating sites or worse craigslist. I said you meet these people talk to them a couple times on there have no clue who they are who you are going to meet know nothing about them and then go lets take the kids and meet here or there. I don’t do that shit. I do not want to meet anyone on line and not from craigslist that’s for dam sure.

He tried to keep on about it I just said look I am not talking about this anymore, I do not bring random people I know nothing about around my kids. I do not consider myself dating someone that I have talk to a few times and seen a couple times and then there for feel it is ok to bring them around my kids. I don’t just go hook up with any Joe that talks to me because someone else might not like you do so you do not have to worry about me bringing anyone around the kids. But why you are so bent out of shape and worried about it lets get something straight you need to knock the shit off and not be taking them to meet all these random people that you meet and talk to from all over the place. I said you hound me about it then turn around and do just what you are acussing me of. I said you must be planing or taking them and meeting someone or think that you may soon or you wouldn’t be hounding me and making such a big deal out of what I do who I talk to or who I have around. I said I always know what you are doing because you start accusing me of doing whatever it is that you have done or plan to do. To make yourself feel better about doing it or to try and justify it and make it ok because you know it isn’t and are feeling guilty. So if you can convince yourself that I am then you can justify it to yourself and make it ok by saying well she did it so then it is ok if I do. I said that isn’t going to fly because I’m not doing a fucking thing. If I was and you are throwing such a fit about it being so wrong then you shouldn’t use it to make you doing it feel ok about yourself either.

Then he starts stumbling all over himself well I’m not talking to anyone right now either. I didn’t say not to bring them around the kids I don’t care if you do I just want to know who they are and meet them if they are coming around. I said well then I want to meet anyone you bring around the kids and I want to meet them before you bring them around my kids. I don’t want to meet just the one you want me to meet I want to meet every one that you plan on the kids meeting before they meet her. He just looked at me with that stupid ass how do I get out of this one look on his face. I said well if you want to impose rules that aren’t written anywhere then I am going to have some of my own. Well I don’t think you need to meet all of them. I said well they want to be around my kids then I do. He just shut up and went on.

He wants to try and play these games and come up with all this stupid shit he better know who he is playing with because I can turn it on him and make it hell so fast his head will spin and he knows that so I don’t even know why he tires. He knows that I am not going to sit here and just be like oh ok I’ll make sure I do all that and let you know. Besides he should know I have no problem letting him meet who I am talking to. Shit when I started talking to RC we weren’t even dating we were just talking I brought him right to the dam house brought him straight inside and said this is so and so he came to help me move this table and take it to so and so’s house. He has a truck it is easier to put it in there. We loaded the table and left. Well know the two of them loaded it and we left. I went to help him and I guess Father of the Year didn’t want to look like more of an ass than he is and offered to help him. He was there picking up the kids to watch them because me and him were talking the table down there. I truly have nothing to hide and have no reason to not let him meet him when I am ready. Because like I said before I am not going to be bringing anyone around the kids unless we are dating and have been for a while. And as far as I’m concerned no one else needs to know anything until I decide to bring them around the kids and let them meet them. The kids don’t need to know and want to know why they can’t meet them or worried about meeting them and what is or isn’t going to happen or what might happen. Why does everyone else need to know before the kids anyway it is mine and their life that it is going to effect not anyone else.

But like I said before anyone that is breathing and speaks to him he will bring over and if it is a different one the next day next week or month he will bring them around too. So maybe now he will think twice about bringing them around if he thinks I am going to really want to meet everyone before they meet the kids. I told him don’t try to lie to me because if he does I will show up to check and see. That I know how he was setting up to meet these girls at the park and planing to take the kids and not tell me. When I started telling when and what parks he didn’t know what to say. I said and don’t think the kids won’t tell me either because they will. He said what am I supposed to say oh I know it’s only the first or second time we are meeting but by the way my ex wife is coming too she wants to meet you, or oh can you meet me over at such and such because my ex wants to meet you? What are they going to think about that?

I said I really don’t care what you tell them or what they think about it those are my kids that they want to be around. Tell them what ever you want to tell them. I said or how about this you just don’t take the kids around them the first or second time you meet them? How about wait until you see if it is even someone you are interested in and you all start dating and have been together for a while before you take the kids around them. Then you can say hey you know and she really shouldn’t mind at that point. If she has kids of her own then she should get it. Well you just don’t understand the only time I have to really meet anyone and get to know them and hang out is when I have the kids too because I have to work and things. The only free time I have I have the kids. I said wait excuse me it’s so hard for you and the only free time you have is when you have the kids? I said you have every evening after work you are off by 530 and earlier if you want you can be off at 330, you can take off the weekend or one day on the weekend, and you only have them every other weekend so you have lots of free time. But it is hard for you. I said if anyone should be complaining about how hard it is and not having free time it should be me. I have two free days to myself all month. I take them every where they need to go and make sure everything is done for them. You go to work pick them up for a night maybe two go have fun do whatever you want and drop them back off for two weeks. But it is hard on you and you have no free time.

I still just don’t know how he figures all this at times.


socialworkerangela says:

I am hoping it worked out

It finally did and I got to my training. Thanks

I’ll be honest, it sounds a lot like my ex. Granted, he hasn’t seen the kids in three years, hasn’t so much as really tried to contact me about them, and only spent one day in court over adjusting the child support he doesn’t pay. He tried for a while to use everything I did against me. Eventually he fell off and faded into the background because he couldn’t get what he wanted. I’m hoping your ex does the same, gets bored when he doesn’t get what he wants and gives up.

I am praying the same thing. I don’t think that will happen until he finds a new girlfriend and place to live. I think once he gets his own place and finds someone new we will be a thing of the past. I feel bad for the kids because they are bonded with him but in the end it would be better for them not to be around him and the way he is.

Sometimes it’s better to have the parent not around at all than to be completely inconsistent. I think inconsistency almost hurts more. Good luck!

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