The other day I told you all that I almost went to the place to make an appointment to talk to a counselor but then came home. Tuesday I went and took my mom to the bank to pay a bill for my grandma, when we got to the bank I seen that the counseling place was now in the same building as the bank. It’s just a few blocks from where my kids go. I didn’t say anything or go there then I don’t want her, father of the year or anyone else to know I am going to talk to anyone. She will just like she always does try to start in some way either by calling down there and saying things or making comments about me going on what. It’s just how she is I already know and it isn’t anyone else business that I am going.
Today I called over there to see what I needed to bring with me to get in to talk to someone. The lady I talked to set everything up over the phone and I go next Tuesday. I wanted to go on a Wednesday or Thursday morning but she said that was all she had earlier in the day she could look at next month and see what she had. I told her no I would just take that time and see about setting up something earlier for my next time.
She asked why I wanted to be seen, I told her depression. She asked if there was anything else or something like that. I told her just the depression and anxiety and that I had dealt with them since I was about 14. She said, they do not prescribe any medication there. They said that they only had psychiatrist there no psychologist. I told her that was fine that I had only taken medication once in the past but would prefer not to, that was why I was looking for someone to talk to.
I figure I will go there and talk to them and see how it goes. If I it don’t seem to help or they seem to think that I need more then I guess they will refer me to somewhere else that can do more. But I don’t really want to do more. Honestly right now I just don’t want to take anything and don’t think that I need to take anything. But isn’t that what everyone says? But when I think about it I might because of the being so tired all the time no matter how much sleep I get and the walking around in a fog all the time never remembering the things I am supposed to. Thank god my little ones go to after care I had no idea it was a half day today and no school tomorrow until I picked them up. I didn’t know my older two only have half day. I have to be at the doctor tomorrow at 11 for my breast. I am thinking about changing it but they are sore and I need to do something about them. But if I don’t go it will be a week or two before I will be able to again. I can take them they will have daycare open but I hate to send them when they really don’t have school. I told them they may have to go but if they do only why I go to the doctor and then I would pick them up. I hate this I try to make everything so it is when they are at school and then screw up. It is almost
12:30 am and I am tired but I’m not. I can’t sleep. I even thought about letting everyone stay home but my oldest is pitching a fit to go because she gets her report card tomorrow and she can’t wait until Monday to see what she got. They missed time because of what happen with the teachers and when we had the storm so they really need to go. So I have to get up and take them anyway and take my friend and drop her at the hospital so I don’t know if I am going to go or not.