I got up and stopped to feed the fish and things in the tank, because I am really not sure when they were fed last. I as I was putting the different foods in I had the thought, how are you going to go talk to some stranger and tell them all about your problems and what is wrong with with you? You don’t know this person from any other person on the street and your going to tell them all your flaws and problems? You are so careful to not let anyone in but then you are going to just go pour it all out to this person you don’t know. You only have one person you have told the darkest of the dark to and you have known him for 26 years. How are you going to just go in there and tell someone you have never met?
Is she going to ask questions? Just expect you to talk? What is she going to want to talk about? The bigger question is what do I want to talk about? Why am I going there? I don’t know really, I do and I don’t I guess. It is hard to explain it is kind of like writing on here sometimes you have a ton to say it just over flowing, while other days you have nothing at all to say and may not write for days even though your goal is to write every day or every few days.
I honestly in my head going I don’t know I don’t know the answer to any of these questions. If I don’t know now how am I supposed to talk to this person Tuesday when I go in?
This is what I have been thinking about sine. I just have a really hard time opening up to people I don’t know and do not trust anyone really. Oh well I guess I will do like always and just wait and see.