Talking to the counselor last week she seems to thing that not being able to concentrate on my school work and things is part of what is wrong and that the medication will help it. Thinking about it she is probably right. I was thinking more from the accident and concussion but thinking about it I don’t think it is at this point. I think it was but not anymore.
Because before I couldn’t stay focused or understand what I was reading and it would take me forever to look through the pages and find the answers even. At one point I sat down done one classes work using another classes book and had not clue. I couldn’t figure out why it was so hard to find the answers and why a few were not there I had to go on line and look them up and why they were not all in the one chapter but all through the book in different chapters than what we were told to read. I keep going to the index or glossary to look things up an find them.
But now I can sit down look them up find all the information I need and put the work together. I just have no motivation to do it. Ok that is wrong I want to do it I sit here an think about doing it all the time but that is about as far as I get on doing it until I force myself to sit down and work on it Saturday and Sunday to get it all turned in by Sunday night and Monday Morning. I have a 100% in my one class 11 or 12 weeks into the semester, it’s not that I am having problems understanding it like I was before it’s just I have to force myself to do it and even then not get distracted by something else while doing it.
I guess it isn’t Concentration or motivation really that is keeping me from it. It’s my mind that is so tired that I get a little ways through one assignment and I am falling a sleep can’t hold my eyes open no matter how much I slept. That is the new thing now even when I force myself to do it and not do 20 other things at the same time I will go form wide awake to passing out. I don’t understand it because I can sleep 7 or 8 hours at night and nap for a hour or two sometimes more in the day and I am still passing out. Even when I am trying to do other stuff not just my work. It’s just my work it affects the most because I have to sit still work on the computer and read. Reading puts me to sleep anyway.
Like I said she wants me to go get all my health stuff looked at and make sure there isn’t anything else going on. I guess I will do that Monday next week if I can get in. I call to make an appointment and it is like pulling teeth to get one for a week away or even the next day. But then they always say you really need to call in the same day to get one for the day you want to go. I don’t understand that because that could take days of calling to get in that way. But I don’t know I just know that is what they say. I am going to try and call today to get one for Monday and see what I need to ask for because I do not think they will see my for my breast and my thyroid at the same time. It’s stupid they say they can only see you for one thing at a time. It is just to be able to bill for more visits. I am trying to talk myself into going and having a yearly done and I should be able to talk to them about my thyroid and my breast at that. Because most the time they want to do blood work at your yearly and I would think thyroid would be part of that or could be. And they always do breast exams when they do your yearly so if they are sore and I tell them about the problems I have been having they should write a the paperwork for that test too right? I guess we will see.