{November 9, 2016}   Found A Balance

As you all know I have started taking a medication as suggested by the counselor I started seeing. I have been on it for 6 days and the first 5 were hell. I felt drugged and sick to my stomach all day long. It made me sleepy as well. I hate the drugged feeling and the sick to my stomach feeling. My friend and her boyfriend both take it and said that their doctors told them to take it at night before bed. Monday I didn’t take it when I got up and took it when I went to bed. I slept pretty good other than the dog waking me up. I got up this morning and felt sick to my stomach a little bit, but after a little bit it went away and I was fine the rest of the day. I took it again tonight about the same time. I have been up a couple hours still but starting to feel tired and probably would have went to sleep when I took it had I went to bed. But I was staying up to catch up on my shows and on here. Now I just have to remember to take it around the same time every night or maybe even a little earlier so that maybe I won’t feel sick when I wake up. But if not I can deal with feeling a little sick for a few minutes in the morning to not feel sick and drugged all day. Over all I kind of feel like it maybe working. I picked my friend up as soon as I dropped the kids off this morning we went had breakfast this morning, we went feed the chickens I didn’t have to do it later and then hung out at my house for a while. I didn’t feel tired or annoyed. Because before I would want someone to come hang out or go somewhere with and then once they got here all I could think was how I wish they weren’t here I didn’t want to deal with them and I just wanted to go to bed, not be up entertaining anyone or dealing with anyone. It wasn’t like I was doing anything other than we were sitting here talking, laughing, joking and just carrying on. But I still just wanted to say you know what I got to take you home now because I don’t want you here, and they just got here two minutes before. I didn’t do it I didn’t say it or anything because as much as I wanted to I didn’t at the same time. I go back to the counselor next week. I also go to get my mammogram, ultrasound of the breast and ultrasound of the thyroid. The doctor has me coming back in a month so I guess will just have to get a copy of the reports.

I don’t know how I like this new time change yet. I like that it is dark earlier in a way because it just feels like everything slows down earlier. Even with the kids up I feel like I can decompress from the day. It’s hard to explain, the day time I feel like I have to go, go, go and have all this stuff to get done even if I really don’t. Once it gets to be night time I just feel like I can just relax and not be busy every second.

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