To help people out who I hardly ever hear from and who do not come around unless they want something? The last time I heard from said person they were all pissed off and said a bunch of shit that really should have never been said. Never once have they said anything about it since it happen and it wasn’t a little something or just something to be forgotten about or over looked. I like this person as a friend but we are not close. We have talked here and there through messages since everything happened. The one time was wanting me to give them a ride yet again and would give me gas money another day yet again. It was in the evening we were settling down and I told them no. I told them I may go that way the next morning and if I did I would let them know and they could ride with me then. I wasn’t getting everyone dressed and ready and going out spending my gas that I didn’t have to do them a favor. The money they already owe me I knew I would not see any gas money. But I figured if I went that way it wouldn’t hurt to let them ride since I was going past where they wanted to go. I didn’t hear from them again after that for a long time. Then I seen their dad had passed away and I messaged and said I was sorry to hear about their dad passing and what. They said thanks and we chatted a little. That was 6 months or more ago probably. Yesterday I got a message asking how I was doing? I said fine and how were they? I just now got a message back at 1245 am asking if I was still up. I replied.

They want to know if I still lived in the same spot? I said yes, so then they say they are going out of town and want to know if they can park their car by my carport for a few weeks. I told them there have been a lot of break in’s cars and someone messing around my house lately. I didn’t even like having mine sit out there but I have no chose. Figuring that would make them not want to park it here. They say oh they really aren’t worried about that just more having somewhere to park it so it don’t get towed why they are gone for a few weeks. I didn’t reply or read it. Well I read it but it don’t show that I did. I don’t really want it here but then something says why not help them out what is it going to hurt. But then there is just that feeling of it is not a good idea just say no. Then I feel like I am wrong for saying no and like I am being a bitch or something but at the same time I feel like I am being used. Because most the time I do not hear from them unless they want something. They have helped me out a few times but very few. It seems more of a one way street mostly.

They are not the only ones I have this problem with. I have had friends who I watched their kids for over night, for the weekend and even kept them for the week and never charged anything for doing it provided all food and everything. But then ask them to watch my kids and it’s so much an hour or night. Or to come and do something and they don’t have time or other plans we will get together later but later never comes. But then who is the first person they are hitting up when they need something. And again I feel bad to say no or not help if I have nothing else going on.

I feel like if I am able to help then I should it is the thing to do. But there is a limit to that too. I just feel so conflicting when it comes to this kind of thing. I know I am right to say no and shouldn’t feel bad but I do. Then it bothers me that I feel bad for saying no. I have always been the peace keeper and the one to fix everything with and for everyone. I guess it’s just that if I can fix it then I need to fix it part of me.

I am not letting him park his car here, I don’t know what I am going to tell him but I have to tell him something I guess. Or is it ok to just ignore him and not reply anymore? I know it isn’t right but still. I hate when you tell people no and they want an explanation why. Just because I don’t want you to or don’t want to then pisses them off. When you give them a reason they come back with fifty excuses why it’s ok or it don’t matter. But I hate just not replying too. What to do what to do?

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