{January 16, 2017}   I’m Tired

so ends post for day two now on to day three. I seem to only have the one post for day three so day 4 will follow.

I’m tired, tired of hardly keeping the bills paid and havening to depend on him to give me money. I wish one of these jobs I applied for would call me to come in. I just want to get my tax money and school money so that I can budget my bills out and have a little bit to do something with. Sitting here and can’t use the computer because I can’t pay the internet, can’t go anywhere because there is no money to go. I can hardly use my phone get some of my calls and some I never get because I can’t get a new phone. Ask him to do something as simple as getting the information needed to send the other one in and he can’t even do that. It won’t cost him anything to do it but he still won’t. He don’t care if I am here with the kids and have no phone to make a call if I needed to.

I spend most the time I am awake in my room because I still do not have my couch in my living room. He got it to the backroom by himself but now he can’t get it back in the house. We have a loveseat big enough for two people to sit on and a couple office chairs to sit on in there. The kids sit out there and play and watch tv that is it. I sit at the table in the dining room like now while I am making dinner and making sure the kids do their chores or while I eat.

I want to get my couch and things listed again so that I can hopefully sell it with everyone getting tax money back next month. Well more like March probably for most. I got a text yesterday said my tax return had been accepted by the IRS but I have earned income credit so I have wait until the 15th before it will be released and then up until the 27th to get it. I thought that I missed any of the tax credits this year since I had not worked all that much but I guess not. I can at least count on that it is almost a full month’s rent so it will be a help. I figure that will cover what I had to borrow, the price of the washer, and most of the repair on my truck. I won’t have to touch my school money for that.

I am still waiting on a replacement card for SSI because mine expired New Year’s Eve. I went to use it and it wouldn’t give me the balance when I called in. Then it said it was no good. They say they sent me one but I do not remember getting it. I think it got thrown away by accident if I got it or I put it up so I wouldn’t lose it. Go figure. I called to replace it and they said 5 to 7 business days but I have not seen it yet in the mail. I hope that it comes soon. I must have it the first to pay my rent. I cannot be late I am too close to signing a new lease. I am praying they don’t up my rent and that they have no reason to not sign me a new lease. I haven’t given them a reason but I don’t know if they have decided to do something else with it. I don’t think they have it seems they would let me know and I think the land lord is very happy with me as he wanted me to sign a new lease last year. They were calling me and telling me he wanted to sign a new lease with me if I wanted to. I want to ask for a privacy fence but I don’t know if he will do it or not. I think if I could just talk to the owner he would, but I don’t think the office will even bring it up to him and ask him. They will say we will talk to him and then it will never be brought up. I asked once before but then the air or the roof had problems so I didn’t push the issue because I knew they just spend a bunch on it. I am going to ask when they come to me and ask me to sign a lease again. Then tell them I will be in to sign it when they give me an answer.

I am tired of having the dogs in the house 24/7 and having to keep them in a cage if someone comes over if I need to walk out of the house. I hate they can’t go outside of the leash and can’t even be in the yard on a leash if someone isn’t out there with them to make sure no other dogs come in the yard. I don’t want another little or two of puppies.

My eyes are burning out of my head right now because I cut up an onion 30 minutes or more ago to go in the meat for dinner. They are making my head hurt and face hurt. I just want to go to sleep and I can’t. I didn’t go to sleep until after 5 this morning and didn’t get my homework done either. I must stay up and get it done tonight because it is due tomorrow and we cannot turn anything in late at all. I don’t want to start off turning stuff in late or missing work.

I still have this spot in the ruff of my mouth I probably have written about it before sine I have had it since I was pregnant with my 3rd over 6 and a half years ago. I went to the doctor they gave me medication for infection said they didn’t see it but felt something. It never went away; I have been on medications many times over the years and a ton this time last year when I was having all the pain in my face. It has never gone away. It is kind of hard like bone but then other times it kind of squishes like it has fluid or something in it. I hurt and makes my mouth hurt too. I have had a bunch of ct scans of my neck and around that area and I think even my sines and things before. But they never say anything if they see it. I didn’t go back to the ent because he said all the pain and problems I was having was from infection in my teeth. If it was my white count would have been off it wasn’t. I had been on three or more medications for infection and everything. If it was infection it would have been gone. My teeth did not hurt he tried to tell me they are dead. I know they aren’t because they hurt, not all the time but sometimes. I keep wanting to take something and stick the place in the roof of my mouth and see what happens. But then I am kind of scared to. I think more because I don’t want it to hurt more than anything else. I can’t stand for my mouth to hurt and I don’t want to do something to it and it start hurting and not stop.

I have to go make dinner I tell my oldest to put the meat in the skillet and start it she don’t bother to turn it on. I am still trying to just see straight from the onions, I can’t believe they are still bothering me. We have aired the house out and everything. I am the only one they are bothering.

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