Just Had To Share


Still do everyday.

What If?

Heard this on the radio the other day and been listening to it a lot. It’s so hard to get past the what if’s or the waiting for the bottom to fall out when things are going so good. We end up truly missing out one the full enjoyment of the here and now and at times mess things up for the future. It makes you stop and think.


I guess is the only way to describe how I am feeling the last few days and today just pushed it higher. I do not check my email all the time like some people do. There are times I will check it every day and then others I won’t check it for weeks or only once a week. I do not use my email for anything other than junk stuff most the time. I try to check it at least once a week since the kids are doing 4-h because that is the only way they get in touch with you. I rather text but they email. But I miss some from them because I get busy and forget to check it. The real estate office will also send emails out so often. Must the time to say the office is closed or open these days because of holiday, your rent is late even though it isn’t past the due date or what. Nothing I really read or do anything with, so I don’t even check it to see if I got stuff from them unless I have emailed them about something and waiting a reply.

The other day I checked my mail and I seen I missed a few from the office so I looked and it is asking if I want to renew my lease, telling me they want to raise the rent $50 and there is a lease fee of $150. I want to renew my lease but not at the $50 extra, I can pull it off and will have to if that is what they want to keep it at, but I feel good with it at $800 and don’t have to stress over it every month. I feel if they raise it that $50 I am going to stress over trying to stretch another $50 out of the budget every month. Plus they told me before if your rent goes up you don’t pay the $150 lease fee but if it don’t go up that year you pay the fee. The first lease I signed I don’t remember but I think I had to pay it, the second one I signed I paid it because my rent did not go up, then last year it went up $50 so I didn’t have to pay it.

I didn’t respond to the email right away because I was just avoiding it, I wanted to think about my response before I did and how I wanted to word it. Finally after getting another email Friday I responded Saturday. I told them I would like to renew my lease but at what I am paying now not the $50 extra. I also ask them if they wanted to raise my rent why I was also being asked to pay the $150 lease fee? I told them this was going to be my 4th lease here (make sure they knew how long I been here, looks good) that I paid it the 2nd lease because rent didn’t go up the 3rd just last year I did not pay it because the rent had went up (remind them rent went up last year) I sent it expecting not to get anything back until today. I kept thinking about it but hadn’t had time to check I thought of it going through the store and stopped to check it. I had gotten a reply back yesterday it said….

The lease fee had nothing to do with the rent and that it paid for inspection of the property that has never been done since I moved in, it paid for having the lease written up by the lawyer (if your an agent you can do your own why a lawyer) and a few other things that it was charged to everyone regardless if the rent went up or not. I don’t know if this is something new or what it is but this is what it said. It didn’t say anything about the rent and if it was going to go up or if they would go ahead and do it at the rate I am paying now. I started to email them back and then noticed I had gotten another notice today saying that I need to let them know with in 30 days if I want to renew my lease or not. I already told them yes but at what I am paying they have not given me an answer but keep sending this spam email they send to everyone. Instead of emailing I called and got the girl in the office. In the past I have just always dealt with them that is it other than the time my roof fell in and I had to get nasty with them to fix it and I had to deal with the office manager.

I called and got the girl there and told her what I was calling about she said I would have to talk to him. I ask her about the lease fee she said I would have to talk to him. She said she could give me his number or transfer me to him. She said he maybe waiting to hear back on the rent since it has to go through the owner first. I just ask her if he would be in tomorrow and told her I would wait and see if I got a response back about the rent tomorrow. I just was not sure since it was never addressed in the email I got back from him about the fee.

I probably should have just talk to him today and ask what was going on or what but I HATE to talk to him and deal with him and that is putting it nicely. I have never seen him in person but he was very rude and arrogant when my roof fell in and I had to deal with him and acted as if it was no big deal. I told him I had stuff all over my house from that room so that it wouldn’t get wet I had waited months for them to fix the leak put a new roof on and now it had fallen in and was molded he was just like so what. I finally started telling him all the laws and what they had to do and what I was entitled to and what could be done if they did not hold up their end of the lease and make the repairs in a timely manner. He was trying to tell me I couldn’t use the room for a bedroom it wasn’t up to code to be a bedroom it was only a porch. So then I started telling what code said was a bedroom vs a porch and that when I hung up I was going to call code enforcement and have them come out to take a look at it and make sure I wasn’t “breaking” any codes while living in their house I wouldn’t want to do that and get them in trouble. I told him in the meantime I was looking for somewhere to rent and they could pay all my money I paid to get in here back all it would cost to get me into a new place and all my moving fees to get into a new place because patching something two roofers already said couldn’t be patched and needed to be replaced was not acceptable to me. So to let the owner know that I would be moving soon and he needed to have the money to cover everything so that I could. I went to hang up and he said wait don’t call code enforcement give me until in the morning to get a hold of the owner and run all this you have told me by him and see what we can do. I said okay but tomorrow I am calling them and starting to look for a new place to live. With in hours I got a call saying they were putting a new roof on that room. When the rest of the house started leaking I just called and said okay now the hall and living room are both leaking, with in a couple days I had roofers out here putting on a new roof on all the house. I have not dealt with him since then but once and that was right after Father of the Year moved out and they signed my first lease with just me on it he tried to throw me out because my money didn’t come and I told him I be late a week on the rent, always just the girls at the front desk, but they have left and they have new people and now it all gets bounced back to him I guess. The other girl had been there years and could run the place with her eyes closed and could decide what to do or would tell him and if he didn’t do it then she just would and tell him this what i done we got to pay it or whatever. She was very nice very fair and like everyone else felt if your are living here paying your rent then they should take care of your stuff and treat you like a person not a paycheck.

Normally I wouldn’t worry about it just like when the roof wasn’t getting fixed and I told him what I did, but I knew I was right I knew my rights and that everything I said including him having to pay for me to move and things were true. So if they got nasty and said move okay fine the money was there. Plus who is going to pay $5000 or so to move someone out over a roof that needs fixed then still have to fix it before they can rent it to anyone else? That was at least a $$5000 job between the new roof outside the new roof inside and all the new drywall for the walls that got ruined plus the labor for all of it. It made more since to just fix it and keep someone in here that they know is taking care of the place and who pays their rent on time all the time. I guess the owner figured that out and the fact that if they did that code enforcement would be alerted to how things were here and other places as well.

But unlike before I don’t have money to just up and move, I don’t have a job to get into somewhere else and everything around is going for a lot more than what I am paying now for smaller than what I have. What I have is going for a couple hundred more most places and even some in here. But the way I look at it is I have been here all this time I am paying about what the others houses around me are paying, they know they get their rent on time every month and they don’t have to come looking for it or asking for it. The one time I was late he wanted to make me move because they signed me a lease with no job and Father of the Year had left. I was late that one time because I didn’t understand how my money was going to come in. That is when they guy got nasty right away well you don’t have a lease don’t care why it is late just get out. I said no I do have one I signed last month he got mad because they didn’t have a copy and i had mine so he could’t put me out. Then last year when I went to sign a new one I asked the girl if it was going to be a problem if they were going to make me do job check and things because he said they should have last time. She said nope the owner his self said he don’t care if you have a job or not if you want a lease give it to you he always gets his rent and your his best renter out of his 4 places. Again if I am a good renter does he want to risk me moving over $50 a month and risk getting people in here that may or may not pay and who may or may not take care of the place? Or would he rather just give it to me for what I am paying know he will get his rent the fist of the month and not have to worry about anything? Plus this place is paid off or very close to being paid off and the taxes are not that high or it at all so most everything he gets is money in his pocket other than if a repair or something comes up. So he isn’t losing money because the rent I have paid the years I have been here has pretty much paid for the place I have looked it up and found out already.

I just hate to ask things like that or do anything to rock the boat knowing that I am not in a spot where I can move or do anything other than stay here. But I feel I should ask because like I said even if I can scrape the extra $50 into the budget some how it’s not easy and I don’t want to have to stress and I know he is happy with me as a renter he has not problems out of me so it was worth a shot. I guess if I do not hear back from them by tomorrow I will just email him again and tell him I do want to renew my lease has he talked to the owner about doing it at the rate I am now and see what he says. The owner is out of state and half the time I do not think he even talks to the owner when things like this comes up. I think he just decides no or what he wants to do or feels should be done and does it. It isn’t right it should be up to the owner and the girl in the office would talk to the owner about things or let him know what was going on and if something needed fixed or if it needed replaces and funny anytime she talk to the owner about something whatever it was always got fixed right away or replaced if it was going to take to long to fix. I have had heat and air people at my house on a Sunday because I called and let them know it wasn’t working. I told her I knew it was Sunday that if they could please get someone Monday to come out that would be fine she told the owner the owner said send them that day. This is why I think this other guy office owner don’t go to the owner of the house when things come through he tries to do as little as possible. Because the owner of the house has already not been happy with them and gotten on to them for not renting this place out for almost a year it sat empty and the guy who showed it to me then after I called him about 5 times to try to look at it said he didn’t bother with showing it or trying to rent it because no one ever has what they need or can’t get it for this reason or that the only reason he came to show me was because he got in trouble for it not being rented sooner and I called so many times trying to come look at it. Even then he pretty much said oh Father of the Year works here ok go to the office sign the papers you can have it. I said we haven’t talked rent dogs or anything like that. He said how many dogs I said we have one and will be getting anther because we always have had two together one just passed. He said okay I don’t care that is fine. I said what about rent they want this much right he said yeah I will give it to you for this much instead. I will have the office get the papers from the lawyer go sign it and pick your keys up tomorrow. He he could do all that when the place even said no dogs not do background check and just give it to us because of where Father of the Year worked again to me just looks like the owner of the office is being difficult not the owner of the house. The bad thing is the owner of the house is out of state so he only knows as much as the owner of the office tells him. I think he charged him for repairs that didn’t get done and now some of them are having to be done and he is having to tell him they need done again or they broke again and the owner is probably questioning it.

I am just rambling now I got to get off here but I feel a little better. I think I will take the kids outside to play with their guinea pigs for a while. Then to get my school work done and dinner. I just want to nap really.

What Would You Do?

I bought a rug for my living room a while back and it works good but it is to small I need two or one bigger. I looked for a bigger one but I have the biggest size that one comes in. I am not against getting two and using but then would need to buy two new ones since the other has been washed and outside in the sun, it’s faded so you could really tell one was older than the others. I had been looking at the store to see if I could find one and hadn’t seen anymore, the other night me and the kids found one it was marked down. I decided to go ahead and get it and hope to find one at another store or just use the two together even if one looked brighter/newer than the other.

They were on clearnce and when I checked out I watched to make sure it rang up the right price because so many things I have gotten in the past ring up full price and I only notice once I get home. Anyway it rang up for half the clearance price so it came to $45. I figured for that price I would buy another one and put them both in the living room and just use the other for my room because it is driving me crazy not having a rug in my room and I don’t have anything really to match it to or care. It’s in the bedrooms no one goes in there. I have looked at three stores and even called father of the year to make him look at some south of me by his job and can not find it.

I looked on line and found them but they are $97 full price even though they are clearing them out in the stores. I do not want to pay $97 for something I just paid $45 for in the store a week ago. I am debating ordering it then returning it when it comes and then buying it again from the store. Once I return it they will put it out for the $45 price that they are selling them for now. My mom is saying that it is not right to do that. I don’t think it is wrong they can put it out for the $97 price if they want if they chose to sell it for the $45 that is on. I don’t feel it is wrong either because if I found something on line and it is cheaper than in the store the store will price match. But you can’t price match when ordering on line because your aren’t talking to anyone your doing it all yourself.

What would you do? Order it online and return it to repurchases? Just use the two you have even if they don’t match and buy a different one for the bedroom? Or just suck it up and buy it at the $97 and forget it?

Lets Talk Eggs

As you all know the older three are in 4-h and raising chickens, they each of 4 chickens of their own. They have to have three for fair and we have an extra for each kid in case something happened to one or two before then. We have ours in the 4-h coup with one other family and some extra chickens, that I don’t think anyone really knows how we ended up with them because we ordered just enough. We now have 30 chickens in the coup and they started laying a couple weeks ago. I think we are up to between 15 and 20 laying right now as this is what we normly get in a day when we go out to collect them. Thursday we had 40 I think that someone didn’t go out on Wednesday like they were supposed to because we were back to around 20 Friday. Anyway it is split between us and the other family we go Thursday, Friday and every other weekend the other goes Monday and Tuesday and every other weekend. Since the coup is right next to the office one of the office staff goes Wednesday.

The kids couldn’t wait for them to start laying eggs so they could get them and I thought it would be great as well as you keep all the eggs you get the days you go and at times we go through a lot of eggs. Plus we share with a friend of mine or people around us if we don’t use them all. The kids are loving going out and collecting the eggs. It is like Easter every time because they do not lay in the spot set up for them to lay they lay them all over the coup and all over the ground and hide them. Some put them in the spot made but it is about half and half right now.

The kids and my friend say the eggs are really good and better than the store bought eggs we get. They are even talking about keeping them and not selling them at fair and putting them in our friends backyard so they can keep getting the eggs from them and maybe even selling them as well.

I can’t eat them, I don’t know why it just seems very weird to me to eat them. I eat other eggs that we buy at the store with no problem as long as they are fixed in a way that I like and are hot. I am not a huge fan of eggs but eat them and like to have them at times but they can not get cold. I can’t eat cold eggs or reheated eggs out of the question. But for some reason it’s weird to eat the ones from our own chickens. It’s not like I look at them as pets or anything like that they are just there something the kids are doing and I take them to take care of them. We even talked about what you do with them once they stop laying and I said they sell them for meat because this bread is supposed to be good for both. I don’t know how to tell or why one is better than any other or that one really is, this is just what I have been told. When they ask what we do with them after they stop laying I said we could eat them. I know I couldn’t kill them or be apart of it it’s not my thing. Again I know it just how it is and do not see anything wrong with it, I just can’t kill something. My friend and her boyfriend would have no problem doing that kind of thing and would do it and we could split it all up. They are use to that kind of thing I am not. I really hate that I am not use to it and can’t do it because I know it is good because if we want to raise animals and things it is something that would need to be done. Anyway if I can’t even eat eggs from them how the hell would I eat the chicken its self if they killed them and everything? I guess I am weird because of it and weird because it bothers me. But how do I get past this? It is normal we eat eggs why does it matter where they came from be it ours or the store? I don’t know what I think is so different about them or why it bothers me. Makes no since at all really just the thought of eating one it’s like nope that’s okay I don’t want any, changed my mind. It is subconscious because I look at them and think oh yeah we got eggs we can make this or that. But then to cook one and eat it nope. I have store bought eggs in the fridge I could go in there and cook one and eat it now but not one of them and we have twice as many of our own. I just don’t get it at all.

Okay I should go work on my school stuff. I have a project due next weekend that I should have been working on all along. Just thought I would amuse you all with some of my weirdness before I got started and give you something to read and laugh at. Maybe even make you feel a little more normal in your own life.


The last few days the cravings have been crazy and for odd things I hardly ever eat and shouldn’t be eating. My friend keeps laughing and saying it is from the other night and the kids are getting another sibling. I know it is from being sick and eating like crap the last week or so. Mostly from being sick, I will get this way when I have been really sick.

I made a homemade stew sometime this week and I have craved it for days. I ate the last of it Wednesday and Thursday. Was disappointing when I seen the empty left over bowl in the sink this morning because I wanted some more. I ate a huge bowl of it last night too. Oh and eating way to much I will do that too, when I find what I am craving I eat way to much of it at one time.

Yesterday why I was out with the older kids and Wanda I bought Salami and nutter butters. I couldn’t find the Salai I wanted so I ended up with the little round slices like you would put on pizza. I ate them on the way to the pet store and some on the way home. I passed them to the back so the kids could have some while I ate my nutter butters. I was craving the peanut butter and cracker so it wasn’t as good since I got the nutter butters and not the crackers. I thought it was the peanut butter I wanted more really but I was wrong. But it still helped the craving so that was good. Later I asked the kids where the Salami was and they said they had eaten it all. I wanted more of it even though it wasn’t that good. That is when I ended up eating the huge bowl of stew.

Today I have been eating potato chips and french onion dip. I never eat chips, if I eat them 4 times a year that is a lot for me. They just aren’t something I eat much of, unless my body needs salt, I know when I start craving chips that my body is wanting them for the salt. I will eat a ton of them. I sat here and ate part of a bag with dip before we went to the store and things. I just came in here and sat down to read and write and the first thought was I need some chips and dip. I knew before I went to get them that the dip got left out and sure enough it did. It was still sitting on the dishwasher open from this evening when I had some. I forgot it and oldest did not clean the kitchen up as I asked or she would have seen it. I looked at it stirred it up not that it needed it and tasted it. It tasted find so I have decided that with the amount of preservatives in it I am probably pretty safe because I don’t think the stuff would rot in 6 months and it has only been out a few hours. I started thinking about how dip is used a lot at parties and look how long parties last with things like that sitting out on the table for all to help their self to? I last for that kind of stuff then just sitting there should be fine for mine too. I know if I get food poisoning I can blame no one but myself. But I am craving them so bad right now and there is nothing in the house that sounds good other than them. Look at all I think in my head to try and make it okay, what is wrong with me? That is not right lol.

I think the oddest thing I crave when I don’t feel good or sick is sex. I don’t know why but I want sex more when I am sick and not feeling good as well. So whats the oddest or craziest thing you crave when your sick?

But on the bright side I hope this means I am getting over this and will not be sick next week. I have things to take care of and places to go.

It’s One of Those Nights

Where I wish I had someone to take care of me for once while I’m sick. Someone to bring me something to eat and then ti curl up with me and hold me as we watch a movie while we fall a sleep. It would be nice to just feel cared about and loved for a change.

I know it’s wishful thinking and I must get up and make the kids dinner and get them bathed and to bed. Maybe one day I will have that. Until then its time to be mom, dad, doctor, chef, maid, peace keeper and enforcer while I try not to choke on my cough drop or fall over from not feeling good.

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