Tubes Tied

You all may remember that I decided to do something about birth-control back in December. I didn’t end up going because the kids were out for Winter break when it was. I decided after Wednesday I need to get on the ball and do something about it. I’m not going to live in a bubble for the rest of my life I am going to meet someone and start dating to some extent or have a relationship whatever that may turn out looking like. I am going to need to be doing something for it. If I wait until I “need” it to go and take care of it then there will be the need to use other forms until I can get it taken care of, opening the chance of getting pregnant again. As you all know I do not want to have anymore children of my own at all. Not now, not tomorrow, not ten years from now. I felt the same way 4 years ago after having my daughter and while I was pregnant with her. I already knew she would be the last one I would be having and I was okay with that. I am still okay with it.

I was going to go get on some form of birth control, I was looking at the ring or maybe the patch again if they still offer it. I have never tried the ring but it seems simple enough. The patch wasn’t bad that I can remember other than the black square from the sticky that holds it on and the fact it don’t stay on good for the week. Other than that I do not remember them causing me any problems. The more I have thought about it the more I hate the idea of taking any of that stuff and worry about how well it will work. I got pregnant on the pill taking it at the same time every evening and making sure I took it and dint’ miss any. Wednesday I was not happy about what I found in the stores to use and the thought of using any of them freaks me out because I don’t feel they will work. I know most do, to an extent and I have used them and didn’t get pregnant, I still can’t get past the idea that is all I have to trust. Before I wasn’t to worried about what we used because if it worked it worked great if it didn’t then okay that was fine too. But I wanted kids and more kids back then unlike now. Now I know I am 100% sure I do not want anymore kids.

I called Friday to see about getting an appointment, she said the computer was down but she was going to give my name and number to someone else that could help me. They are supposed to call me back. If I do not hear from them today I am going to call them in the morning. I hate the idea of having it done but worry more about getting pregnant again than the risk or compilations at this point. All you can do is look at the options, pro’s, con’s, risk and decide. I have looked at all the options I feel that with them I would always worry that they didn’t work or what if they didn’t work. I don’t want that stress and worry. I may stress or worry about having the surgery done to tie my tubes but it will be short term, once it is done I will not be stressed or worried about it.

For now I am okay with my decision and not really stressed or worried about it. I hope that I will still feel this way as I get things set up and it gets closer to time to get it. However I feel I have to go through with it so that I feel better in the long run.