The other day when me and my friend Wanda went out my friend J came and watched the kids. I had to pick her up because she let her son have her car out of state and her husband had to leave for work by 12 am. I didn’t want to have to worry about what time I came home so I picked her up since we were not going out until 9 to start with. This way she just stayed over and Wanda stayed over as well. We got home at like three in the morning. When we got home we all sat on the porch and had one of the screwdrivers that have been in the fridge for years. We ended up sitting there talking for hours then moving the couch and talking until daylight. J passed out on the couch me Wanda got up and went got in my bed. I found her a blanket and pillow and got mine and we laid their and talked and laughed for a while longer before we fell a sleep. I then woke up about every hour until Little Guy came in and woke us up around 10.

We got up got the kids ready and things and were sitting here in the living room talking why they were. They came in and sat down on the couch with us while we were talking I didn’t think anything of it. We weren’t talking about anything they shouldn’t hear or anything like that so I didn’t tell them to go to their rooms or what. Then some how something about kids and birth control and the kids dad came up. Still not a big deal, I don’t know how it came up but something was said about kids and how many brothers and sisters things. I said Little Guy had said he wanted to have 10 brothers and sisters and that I told him he better talk to his daddy about that because I wasn’t having anymore. I said that Little Bitty was 1 of 8. Me and others had talked about it before so I didn’t think anything of it. My 11 year old Big Boy asked how she was I told her because she had a different dad and that he had 4 kids older than her and then there was him his brother and other sister. He said oh but he thought Father of the Year was her dad. I told him no that he wasn’t her dad. He ask a few things I just told him he wasn’t that RC was that is how it is.

Then I don’t know what was said but that is when birth-control came up and my big mouth friend J says I thought you just said the other day you called and are going to get your tubes tied? I said something and looked at her and she just went on about it I was so pissed. I told her no one knew but her and Wanda and I wasn’t going to tell anyone else. I just wanted to blow up but I didn’t. I changed the subject and went on.

Later that day after we took everyone home and where they had to go we came home. Little Bitty started talking about her daddy and what his house was like and she was going to go to his house. Little Guy said something about Father of the Year and she said no not him my dad’s house, he is going to come and get me and we are going to go to the store and play with toys at his house and I can spend the night there. He is going to have a conferrable bed and I am going to sleep in it. Then she came to me and was asking me when he was coming and telling him he was late but was going to come over. She ask what his name was and I told her it was cute she miss understood me and said something else. Sounds almost just like it but not it she was telling my Big Guy my dad is X and talking about him. I told her a few times it wasn’t that it was this but I think with her ears or me being sick and sounding funny she didn’t understand. After a little while they stopped talking about it and she stopped asking about when he was coming. That was Sunday and she hasn’t brought him up again since. I am not going to lie to her but I don’t know what to say to her about who he is where he is or anything like that either.

I have told her when she says something about her dad Father of the Year that is Father of the Year not daddy, but she don’t seem to really notice or act like she knows what I am talking about. But boy Sunday it was like someone flipped a switch and she was all over it and making plans and just ready for him to come and get her and take her to spend the night and she don’t even know him.

I don’t want to lie to her and at the same time I don’t know how to explain it all to her. I don’t know what to tell her or how much to tell her. I really didn’t think she would every really talk about it like that or ask until she was a little older maybe 6 or so and she is only 3. She will be 4 in April. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her yet but I have never told her Father of the Year was her dad others have despite me telling them not to. I just say what I do and go on, I never wanted her to think that I lied to her or that I should have told her sooner. I am going to have to figure out how to handle it and what to say to her when she wants to know when he is going to come to get her. I don’t want to tell her never because she isn’t going to understand that, all I can think of is that he lives far away and can’t just come and get her right now. But knowing her she will want to call him. This is one of them can of worms you think you know how to handle until it comes time and it throws you for a loop because it isn’t when you expect it.

I know when she is around Father of The Year and my mom and starts talking about her daddy RC they are going to have a fit. World War Three is going to start even though it has nothing to do with them at all what so ever. But I am not worried about it what so ever because it don’t have any say in it and have nothing to do with it other than being the ones lying to her to start with. If they say anything to me I am going to tell them just that it has nothing to do with them and I could careless what they think of it all and do not want to hear what they have to say or think about it. If they don’t like it then go on and leave us alone don’t come around, what I do and what I tell my kids is up to me not them.

I am more worried about what I am going to tell her and how to help her understand it all. But I will figure it out.

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