{March 20, 2017}   Don’t Have To Live With Her

Father of the year showed up like he told the kids he was going to do. I was shocked because I really didn’t think he was going to show. Me and the kids got up and went to church this morning then went to lunch and stopped at the craft store after lunch. We just went in to look around get out of the house a little longer before I had to come home and get my school stuff done. We weren’t in the store very long at all and my Big Boy said he felt like he was going to be sick and his right side hurt. I ask him if he wanted to sit in the truck a few minutes while I looked at a couple things quick and we would go. He wanted my oldest to come with him but she wanted to look too. My Big Guy said would go but Big Boy wasn’t up for that he said he would be okay for a little bit while we looked. Well in just a minute he was feeling really sick so we left and came home. Not long after that Father of the year called and said he was coming to see the kids. I told him he better bring me the money he owed me if he was coming or not to bother coming and not to give me no excuses. He said okay.

He showed up and brought the money. uI thought it was pretty petty I asked him to bring a two litter bottle of coke when he came since he had to stop at the store and he said okay. When he got here he handed me the money he was supposed to bring me and a handful of change. I ask what that was? He told me it was the change from the two litter he bought at the store. I thought really you come over here drink whatever you want and eat at least one meal with the kids when you are here but you couldn’t even buy a bottle of coke? It may not have thought anything of it but he made it a point to tell me they charged him twice for it and he had to get them to take it off the second time. I ask how he said he paid for it then paid for the stuff he got and they added it to the stuff he got after he already paid. So not like he was just getting that and took it out of my money he had it in his hand from getting it. He held the line up to do two transactions to make sure he didn’t have to pay for it. I said something about it and he was like oh you wanted me to pay for it? I guess I can give it back to you if you want it. I said nope I don’t want it back I’m really not that petty, just thought it was interesting you hardly ever pay when your supposed to so much behind and you eat and drink here all the time but you made it a point to pay twice instead of just buying it and going on. Well this that and the other like all the time he is broke blah blah. I said I don’t care whatever was just saying. I do it all the time if I am picking something like that up for someone I just get it if it is only a couple dollars and just give it to them or if they ask me to bring something on my way.

He hung out with the kids and helped them with aI few of their chores and played with the guinea pigs with them. I had him move the furniture around in the living room and put the rugs down. Then he started talking about my mom and how bad she is and how he can’t stand it and he is ready to leave and no one helping her or doing anything for her it’s left to him.

I told him that no one can help her if she don’t want to go get help herself. That him agreeing with her about everything is just enabling her and making it worse not better and that no matter what me and my sister say to her as long as he agrees that it will never matter. He said I didn’t need someone coming over there and starting about all that she is doing either and you all don’t have to live with her if you don’t agree with her she gets all mad and has a fit and…..I said well your going to have to keep living with her because you keep agreeing with her so she thinks what she is saying and doing is fine. Not my problem not anyone else. I am ready to sleep in my truck and forget it but then she will be homeless and that will be my fault.

I told him no then she will have to come live with me or my sister and it will be me because my sister and her husband will not let her come there because of the way she is. I told him she won’t come here or last here long because she is scared to be here by herself even in the daytime she already told me. Well I am not going to never be able to walk out of my house without her day and night and do anything with out her because she don’t want to be here alone. There is no reason not to stay here alone me and 4 kids do day and not every day sometimes with no one coming over or us going anywhere for days we are fine. Plus my cleaning isn’t up to her standards, she can’t hardly clean and do things anymore because of her back and knees. So then she is going to expect that me or the kids are going to drop everything and clean everything all the time to her standards every day and that is not going to happen. Nor is she going to come in here and take over and say what goes or don’t go or anything of the sort or are we going to get rid of the dog because she is scared of it to be out of the cage if she is here it isn’t staying in the cage. Like I told him she comes here I am going to tell her like it is I am not going to agree with her about everything and clean my house top to bottom every day to meet her inspection or whatever. I will tell her she is living in my house this is how it is she can have x space room or whatever she is free to clean it whenever and how ever she wants and do it every day if she wants but no one will be doing it for her or doing the rest of the house that way. These are my friends they will be coming over they will be going places with me. She has a problem with that too. If she decides not to stay that is fine I have no problem what so ever with her not staying here and leaving. If she decides to be homeless or whatever because of it then that is fine. This is my house it is ran the way I want it, it is clean and taken care of it is cluttered not dirty big difference. If she don’t want to live in it the way it is and would rather leave that is fine. That is her choice to make.

He says she is sick she needs help. Yes she is but she don’t get help when she does go somewhere and they give her something she will not take it and have every excuse in the book not to take it. She already has and they haven’t even given her anything yet. Like I told him it is just like addiction, I am not going to go let someone on drugs live me and rule my house say how things go. I am not going to go to their house and clean it when it is spotless just because what they think is wrong or happen. They decide to be that way they decide not to go get help getting off of them then I am not going to be there helping them do them along the way. Because even lending them money for rent or bills is basically buying their drugs for them because that is letting them have their money free to do just that. Just like agreeing with her is telling her what she is doing is ok and normal and that what me and my sister say is wrong and we are stupid and don’t know nothing like she says and implies all the time. No one knows anything but her and then him agreeing with her makes her worse. He finally got pissed off and left, I don’t really care who gets pissed off he can, she can or my sister but the truth is the truth and if the truth hurts then figure out why and fix it. I know my sister isn’t going to get mad because she was the one over there telling her the other night about how she is doing and calling me pissed off because he sat their and agreed with her instead of saying yeah everyone is right she needs help.

Like her coffee table is wood and finished she wiped it with bleach or something and now it is kind of sticky to the touch she says. Therefor if you touch it you now have the finish on your hands and if it gets in your mouth you are sure to get deathly ill or die from it. I do not feel anything sticky and do not think her worry over it is anything to even think twice about. Even if it was sticky I would not think twice about touching it or sitting something on it. The kids are not allowed to touch it nothing can be sat on it, if it is it is now contaminated and needs washed a millon times or thrown away. My nephew is 2 she expects him to sit on my sisters lap and not touch it or anything else because there is some reason and not get down and run around why he is there if it is 5 minutes or an hour. If he does then my sister can’t control him is the problem and she needs to make him listen. I am telling you this table is not an issue for anyone but her. I would not be afraid to go over there and lick every square inch of the top. ( I know your welcome for the visual, but I am just pissed and trying to get my point across to him) Because I don’t think anything would happen. I could understand if he picked the bottle of stain to finish it up and drink some of it but he ins’t and I do not think it is going to hurt him or anyone else for that matter unless they did something like that. When my sister brought it up and said something about it the other night my mom said he knows he can tell you and he said yes or he didn’t know maybe it could hurt him if he touched it. I said do you really think that him touching that table is going to hurt him or cause a problem? He said no I think it is fine but I don’t know for sure. I said would you touch it and worry? Would you even think twice about it if you touched it and it hadn’t been made such a big deal by her? Would you think you need to rush and wash your hands a 100 x any other time. He said no. I said ok then saying I don’t think it will or I don’t know it might is just the same as agreeing with her. If it is something you would never think twice about and know that 99.99999% of the rest of the world wouldn’t think twice about then saying other wise you are agreeing with her. When I said this and about the drug addict thing is when he got pissed off and left. I also told him that people die every day of the most bazaar once in a life time kind of things but just because it happen to one person 20 years ago and 5,000,000,000 people have used whatever before and since and it didn’t happen don’t mean that your going to be that one in that it is going to happen to. If you talk to my mom everyone is that one in a 100 that anything bad that could go wrong or happen to them it will. Then she wonders why no one comes around and no one wants to talk to her or help her with anything. Hum I wonder why?

He just keeps saying you don’t have to live with her she gets mad goes off on me blah blah. Telling me what rooms he is and isn’t allowed to use in the house and how he isn’t allowed to sit on her new couch that she is getting tomorrow. He isn’t allowed to cook or use the kitchen because he is dirty the way he does things because he don’t do just what she wants and how. I said see that would not fly I am living there paying rent and bills I do what I wanted and tell her if she don’t like it then I can leave I am not paying to live somewhere and not be able to live there and use the place. He can’t wash his clothes in her washer he has to take them to the laundry mat and pay to wash but still pays the water bill too. But whatever she says goes because he is a push over and will not stand up for his self. Not my problem she my mom I love her but I do not have to be pulled into her mental illness that she refuses to do anything about knowing that it isn’t right and how she is but still does nothing.

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