Father of the year calls me on his lunch break and starts telling me how him and my mom were into it last night after he left here. She is telling him he needs to MAKE me keep the house clean, get the kids their shots, and all this other bullshit stuff she has in her head because she won’t deal with her issues. She told him part of the reason she is the way she is, is because she worries about the kids all the time and how horrible they are living over here and how I don’t take care of them. I don’t take care of them, I am the only one here making sure they eat, have clean clothes, a place to live, go to school, go to the doctor, have the things they need for school, going to the school with them to help when it is needed, I am the one that makes sure they get to do extra stuff not just go to school and come home and sit. She don’t she never has and we all know he is next to never here maybe once or twice every few months for a few hours. He isn’t going to school to help, he isn’t making sure they get there, he isn’t making sure they do their work and talking to the teachers to make sure there is no problems, he don’t bother to find clubs or things for them to do, he can’t even come and take them so they can do them if I can’t, they miss. But I am not taking care of them right because my floors are not mopped every day, my kitchen table is covered up with clutter (we don’t eat at it kids have table in the other room), there are a few dirty dishes in the sink because we had something to eat and they hadn’t been put in the dishwasher yet, I have animals (that are in cages, cages cleaned daily) I have kids toys all over my car port and there is a load or two of dirty clothes waiting to be washed and most times a load or two on one in of the couch that is clean waiting to be folded. Therefor my house is filthy my kids are going to get sick and probably die because they don’t have shots and we all know shots keep us safe from everything (eye roll) This is all the things that are wrong and show that I do not take care of them or care about them. Because of I cared about them they wouldn’t live this way. Oh and I don’t feed them but my cabinets, freezer and fridge all have food in them (remember the dirty dishes, Where did they come from?) my 11 year old is 145 lbs and my 6 year old is 50 lb. no they don’t eat at all.
I am so fucking livid right now it isn’t even funny. She told him because he isn’t going to MAKE me do these things and take the kids to get the shots she feels they should have or make me take them she just needs to “call” someone because we are not taking care of them properly. I told him if she does that I will be making phone calls of my own and that I would not ever speak to her again she would not ever know anything that was going on with us or where we were and that if he told her or took them around her there would be problems. I told him that I am not playing games I am not giving in to her and doing what she wants out of threats and fear. She can’t control and manipulate people. I told him not to bring her back to my house again at all. As of right now if she wants to see them then she can see them when he has them for his weekends. If she don’t want them there for the weekend that is fine then guess she will not see them at all. I told him that if or when they start coming over there they had better not be drilled about how things are at home what gets done when, who does what, or anything else like that, if they are then a stop to them coming over will be made. He said he knew. I said as far as you making me do something or coming over starting or thinking you are going to make me do something or come over here trying to tell me what to do if that happens then you will not come here anymore. If you do you can pull up out front pick kids up for the weekend and take them home for the weekend. If you can not take them home for the weekend then I guess you just won’t be seeing them then. Because like I said before I do not have to let you come over here and hang out like you do to see them and I only have to let you have them see them what the court papers say and if you are not going to do what they say and you don’t come to get them and keep them for the weekend and don’t get to see them because you don’t that is on you. There is nothing you can do about it because I am not keeping you from seeing them you are choosing not to see them by not coming and getting them. He said I know I know I’m not trying to start anything I am just trying to tell you how she is what is going on. I said well I am just tell you before you decide it’s easier to just agree with her on this shit and do what she wants than listen to her I have more say than she ever has or ever will have when it comes to my kids and I will go back to court if it comes to you and her trying to start shit and cause problems when it comes to my kids.
He said there is something really wrong with her one minute she is fine we are talking and the next she is jumping all over me for not doing this or that or what I am doing and I haven’t done anything. One minute she is happy and okay the next she is all upset and freaking out crying or having a fit pissed off. Nothing changed I think she has a personality disorder. I have always thought something was wrong more than just depression or anxiety. It’s just gotten worse as she has gotten older and the other stuff she has dealt with and been through. All my life I just lived with it, put up with it, it was her house and it wasn’t worth fighting over the stupid shit she would start about. It has slowly gotten worse and the worse it gets the more we butt heads now because I am an adult now, I am in my own house taking care of my own family and everything isn’t wrong the wrong way just because it is not her way. I think the biggest thing that has happen is she has no control over anyone or anything anymore. My brother cut her pretty much off they may talk a few times a year see each other once or twice. My sister see’s her and talks to her most out of the three of us but she has always just told her like it is living with her or not. I have always just ignored it and let her ramble most the time until she starts trying to tell me how to do things and what I am doing wrong and how nothing is ever good enough and things. Even then I mostly just say yeah whatever and go on. Now she has gotten so bad about trying to control everything and everyone and over the top with the germ thing that I don’t go over there or talk to her no more than I have to and that is not often at all. She can’t drive, no she can she just won’t so she can’t come over here unless Father of the Year brings her and I just tell her I’m not going to be home or whatever and avid it as much as I can. I think that the fact she has no control over anyone and can not make anyone do what she wants anymore has really just made this much worse. I try not get into it with her but at the same time I am not going to let her come in and do what she wants. I am not going to sit and agree with her when she is wrong I am not going to go along with her just to make her happy. And she knows there is something wrong this isn’t right but will not get help or she will say I don’t know what is wrong with me or why I am like this but won’t get help. That is mostly over the germ thing the control thing she see’s nothing at all wrong with it she is in the right and there is not changing her mind about that one. I can’t be pulled into it all and deal with it all no more than I have to. And if she starts or say to much more I will cut her out be done for good. I hate to be that way but I don’t know what else to do with her. The only way I can make her get help is if she is a threat to herself or others and right now she isn’t. But I think if she ever says anything again I will do whatever it is that needs to be done to get her somewhere and evaluated. But she will lie to them too I figure and they still won’t get anywhere with her. So that will probably be a waste of time as well. But maybe we will see.
It drives me crazy because Father of the year says you don’t know you can’t not agree with her and it is okay to agree with her that isn’t doing anything. She tells me when I tell her the things she is saying, doing, and the way she is acting isn’t right, you just don’t know and you don’t know anything about getting help and what they can or can’t do for you and there is nothing wrong with me. I’m like no I have no clue because this kind of thing isn’t what I have been studying for the last year in school. Crisis intervention, psychology, abnormal psychology, and developmental psychology teaches nothing at all about any of this. And the things your doing, saying and the way your acting in no way relates to any of these subjects. Your right I couldn’t possibly know what I am talking about. Then she just gets pissed off and tries to explain how it is all someone else fault or she is this way because of this or that happening and if this or that would happen she would be better. I tell her no because that was taken care of then it was this that was the problem that was taken care of it was something else, every time something is taken care of it is something else. No it’s not that isn’t how it is at all ya’ll are just trying to make it seem that way. I said then what about all these different times and all these different things that have been problems? Again she is pissed off she has to go her phone is dying or she has to get this or that done or she has to leave. It is just so frustrating because we have been doing this for two years now and if she just go get help then it wouldn’t be this way. She would be much happier to and not so upset and things all the time. I want to have normal family holidays not dread it for weeks before it happens because I have to go see her and see what drama is going to start next.
I can not make her do anything I know this and leave her alone but she will not leave me alone. If she calls anyone or has anyone called or starts shit between me and Father of the Year over the kids it is going to get ugly really quickly.