{March 26, 2017}   Drug Houses

My sister told me that my mother said my house looks worse than the drug houses she use to clean out. I am not sure what houses she is talking about or when she done this but this is what she said. I am just done everyone is laughing at her because they know it isn’t true. It just really pisses me off, I don’t know why it gets to me so much but it does, I just want to go over there and lay into her and tell her that she will not be seeing me or my kids anymore and that if Father of the Year wants them to come over and stay and things he is going to need to find somewhere else to live because he isn’t going to be bringing them around her either.

I don’t know what to do she has called me two or three times this week and every time she starts about same old shit. I got to get this house cleaned up the kids are going to get tetanus I got to go get their shots. She went so far as to tell me the other day that what is wrong with my Big Boy is not my fault!! I said no it isn’t I never said it was. She said the shots don’t cause what is wrong with him and that it is in Father of the Years family. I told her I knew the shots didn’t cause it but that they could be a very big trigger in it. I told her no one is saying that they cause it but that they can trigger it. She then told me if I was SCARED to take them to give Father of The Year something and they would take them. I said why would I be scared to take them I have no problem taking them if I feel they need it? Well I don’t know you just won’t take them will you take them? I said I will have to look into it and see. She said that is what you have been saying for years. I said okay I have to go, the kids need dinner I was about to cook, because she just went on and on about it. Oh and she made sure to tell me that if I got them shots and something happen that wasn’t my fault either but if I didn’t and something happen then that would be my fault because I didn’t get them and I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. I said either way I would, but it will be a lot easier to live with knowing that I did what I felt was right for my children and didn’t blindly give them something just because the masses were giving it and telling me it was fine. I will know I researched for hours for over a year and made a well informed educated decision. Well it isn’t right and you need to go get them I worry about this all the time and stress about it if you just get them. No not happening, not getting my kids something to make her feel better and not stress. If she don’t want to worry and stress over something that is not her choice to make or to worry and stress about then why don’t she go get on medication to help her with that. Next time she says that to me that is what I am going to tell her too. It is not up to you it is not open for discussion anymore if you bring it up anymore I will just hang up and not answer. If you are so worried maybe you should go get some meds to help you not worry about everyone else business. I am that done hearing about it. When I do World war 3 will start but I don’t care and that is probably when she will decide she needs to call someone. I don’t care go for it. Then she changed the subject to something else. How I told Father of the Year he was enabling her. I said no I told him he needs to stop agreeing with everything you say because he knows it isn’t true or likely to happen either and thinks it is all crazy as well. No he don’t and that I needed to stop telling my sister things that I have her brainwashed into thinking that nothing bad can ever happen to any of the kids. I said no I don’t she said the same as me it is highly unlikely anything will ever happen or come of any of the stuff you worry about and anyone else would never even think of all the stuff that you think of. That’s not true and she has asked two or three people about all these different things she is worried about and they said the same thing. They would be cleaning like she is and getting rid of stuff and making excuses about why she got rid of the stuff she did and things. Again I don’t know who these people are that she is talking to because anyone you ask her about she tells you she hasn’t talk to them in months or more and all that is wrong with them and why she don’t talk to them when they were best friends of hers and she has known them for over 20 years. But everyone agrees with her. It is maddening it really is.

I know you can’t tell them anything because this is what they really think and how they really feel and your not going to change their minds. I know my step dad told my sister the other day he left because of how she was about cleaning and things having to be just this way or that and control everything. I guess I was a kid I didn’t notice it a lot or just thought nothing of it. I remember her telling me how my kids have so many chores and shouldn’t have to do this or that or have chores and how we never had chores when we were younger. I thought the other day we didn’t until we were older but that is probably just because she was to OCD and germafob then to let us do it because it wouldn’t be to her standards.

She told me she is the way she is about being clean because of me almost dying when I was about 4 months old because of all things my first set of baby shots. They gave them to me with a dirty needle and I got bacteria in the blood and I almost died. They took my to one hospital and they told them they had to take me to the other one about 20 miles or more away and that they didn’t know if I was going to live until they got me there but maybe not. How they did all these test on me and spinal taps and I was quarantine because they didn’t know what I had. My fever was so high that they wasn’t sure how high it really was because the thermometer didn’t go any higher. They told her they were surprised I wasn’t having seizure and they did not know if I would have brain damage from it until I was older. I don’t know what made her this way and maybe that was it but guess what I lived that should say a lot to her. That yes people get things and die every day but people also get horrible things and live everyday too. I also feel that no matter your age, no matter your health, no matter your color, how well off you are or are not or what happens to you or how sick you get if it is not your time to go you are not going to go. If it is your time to go nothing you have, say or do will change that, you will go. Not flying because the plan might crash is stupid. Because if it is your time to go you could go in your sleep if you don’t get on that plan or have an accident on the way to work. God is not going to keep someone on this earth no loner than he has decided for them to be here. He also is not going to take someone no sooner than he is ready for them to go. Look at all the stores you hear this or that happen to someone they never should have lived but they walked away fine. Or this person done this simple thing that 1000’s of others do every day and some freak thing happen and they died. Maybe how they died wasn’t how they were supposed to die to start with but we all have free will and do things that we are not meant to do so then he has to take us some other way. He has a reason for people going when and how they do as well.



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