We are going to the library to their $5 book sale, you get  bag or box and fill it with all the books you can and it’s $5. We come home with 100 books or close to it most times and spend $20 or less on them all. I have added it up and had well over $500 in books had I bought them new, and most of them are in like new shape. They have the nice jackets the library puts on them to keep them in good shape still and everything. You would think we were going to Disney the are so excited, even the 4 and 6 year old. I give them each a bag and let them fill it and then I fill one or two with stuff for me and them. We get together when we are ready and if bags aren’t full we repack them so that we are not paying for more bags than we really need to. A lot of times they jut give us a big box to put them in and charge for a bag or two even though there are more than that in it. They just want rid of them. My house will be nice and quite tonight and tomorrow I bet.

I am still feeling all over the place, I couldn’t really explain how I felt and why, I knew why but couldn’t explain it. But I was thinking about it and I am so mad at her because I trusted her she was like my sister my kids would hug her tell her good night they loved her and that she was like family, they did this all on their own no one told them too. She was just around that much and we did things all together and things that much. Then she moved in and they got closer the last week and use to her being around. Then she went and done this. I now think because thinking about it she was like my sister we were probably closer than me and my sister we have spent more time together I tell her stuff I haven’t told my sister and things. She was my sister she knew everything about me, it’s like my sister came in and started dating my ex husband. The one girl he was interested in when we first split up I was like seemed odd him going after a friend but it didn’t really bother me but we hardly ever see each other or talk and I don’t tell her the things like I told this one. I don’t trust people much. I can be your friend and not trust you 100% or feel comfortable telling you some things and I may not even feel okay leaving my kids with you or having you move in. The odds are it won’t happen. There may be nothing wrong with you at all it’s just me. So for me to trust her like that and me to help her the ways I did for as long as I have and then let her move in and to tell her all the shit that I have I feel like she was family and she was my sister in every since but blood. I have not had a friend that I have been that close to since high school it was nice to finally have a friend like that. Well I had my one friend but even though I could tell him anything and everything and do, we weren’t close in the since that we hung out and did things all the time like me and Wanda. They were on the same level just different dynamics if that makes since. I trust him with my kids I trust I can tell him anything and everything, I care about him and his family and help if I can and I know he does me as well. He married has a wife and soon to be 5 kids. Where as I trusted her like all that and we had that hangout do things together kind of relationship.


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