I am still able to get on line come here apply for most jobs and do other things. But I can not get to my school site and I can’t get to the clerk of court site. Two sites I need to get on the most right now next to applying for jobs. I am down to $13 to last me until who knows when. I am really starting to worry and panic because I have never had this little. I need a few things around the house and I need it for gas for the truck. I don’t know what to do. I have no idea who to borrow from because I don’t know anyone to borrow any from. If I keep borrowing I am going to owe all I do get in the next week or to back to everyone. At this point I truly have no idea what we are going to do. I am trying not to borrow as well because I am going to need to borrow enough to pay the rent if the money don’t come that’s $125. He sits where ever he is buying things and blowing his money why I have spent all my money to keep things a float this long and he has no care in the world. I blocked Wanda last night as well so if he wants to get a hold of me he will have to do it himself. I am not going through someone that has nothing to do with this.

I am so close to giving up it isn’t even funny at this point. I want to message him tell him if he don’t come and pick his kids up tomorrow I will be bringing them to his job and dropping them off to him. of curse he will say he has no room for them in his truck and shit because he has it full of I don’t know what since he didn’t take any of his but it looked like a rolling dumpster when I seen it last. I bet he would drive away and leave them is what he would probably do he is that kind of an as hole. I have my meeting at legal aid to day more gas I don’t have to spend and time to run down there. I really don’t think they are going to help me they were so rude and didn’t seem interested when I was there last week. I don’t even have the gas to go turn them in at this point. I don’t know what I am going to do I really don’t.

How do you just walk away from your kids and not care what they have or don’t have and know that you left them in the worse way you could. How can you walk around with all that money in your pocket and not care what happens to them or that they want to see you or anything. I started to tell him about Little Guys kinder Graduation tonight but I didn’t he didn’t ask and I wasn’t dealing with him showing up there with her. If he was around and cared he would make it a point to know what is going on and show up and be at things for them and leave her out of it.

But who knows what he does, the internet or any of it don’t make no since to me.


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