{November 27, 2017}   If I Ever Hurt You

Tonight before I picked up Sleeping Beauty ( I need to find a new name for him) when I was cooking and we were texting he said can I ask you a question? I said yeah. I have nothing to hide from him so why not, he says that sometimes can I ask you a question? I am thinking if I say no what are you going to say and why do you think you have to ask me if you can ask me? So then he says what we talk about and do stays between us right? I said yeah he just said okay.

Then later when I picked him up we were riding around and talking and it came up that he wasn’t working tomorrow. He said that why I asked if the bosses wife knew about me coming over to help you this weekend and things. I said well she knew we talk but I don’t go telling her all your business and things that we talk about. I said she knew that you were coming to help me do that and that is all that was said. He said did she know I didn’t come? I said she asked me if we got one or were able to do what needed to be done and I told her you were pretty sick and that I told you I would take you to the hospital to get checked out or what if you wanted to go so she knew we didn’t do anything. But it isn’t a big deal or anything why?

He said I just wondered if maybe that is why he told me not to come into work tomorrow thinking I wasn’t really sick or it wasn’t that big of a deal or something. I said what why would you think that? I said I don’t think so because when me and her were talking about it I told her you were bad so I did’t expect you to come things happen.

He then said that when the boss first found out he liked me or we were talking or what, the boss told him that he had better not hurt me, or do anything to hurt me or to me. He said he told him if he did he would regret it or something like that and it would be the end of his job. He said that isn’t right my job should’t have anything to do with that. He said yeah well something about who I was and something about what I been through and things.

He said what if we date and decide to just go our separate ways or whatever it isn’t really anyone’s fault? Said he told him it didn’t matter he just better not do anything to hurt me or be playing no games or what. I said he knows what I been through that I was done very dirty and wrong. He knows that I do whatever I have to and make things happen and how I have been done, but no your job should not be on the line over any of it. I said I am surprised he said anything like that and you didn’t get an ear full about how I am or how I do and things. I said because it seems that everyone knows me rather I have met them or not someone has told them something. He said nope he just said I better not hurt you or put you through shit not to be playing no games.

He was saying all this it all kind of clicked that hum this is why he is kind of stand offish at times and I don’t hear from him then he is back around. Not all of why but part of why and why I have gotten some of the comments I have gotten and things. I think he is trying to decide what to do if us talking and getting closer possibly is something he wants to risk if it means his job on the line or what. But he must of decided he didn’t care or wasn’t worried about it because we have been out together the last two weekends and I am supposed to pick him up tomorrow after I drop the kids at school. I want to ask him more about it tomorrow.

It kind of pissed me off and kind of surprised me at the same time. Because it is like who is he to threaten him or say anything to anyone that I am talking to employee or not. But then at the same time it’s like it’s nice to know that someone cares an is kind of looking out, kind of like a big brother or a friend. But to say his job is on the line over it is kind of taking it a little far. I don’t know if I should say anything or just let it go. He is looking out for me and the kids I know.

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