{January 26, 2018}   Starfish Was Back

As you all know my truck broke down two weeks ago, I just got it back tonight. I have been bumming rides walking and trapped in the house. My mom is back and has her truck but I can’t drive it. I run my little one to school and up to the store both less than a mile away. She told me if something happens she didn’t know I had her truck because I am not on her insurance. So then I am going to be in trouble for having her truck so I just been getting rides. Today one friend dropped me off at the social security office and my other friend was going to pick me up if I was done when he went to pick his dad up because he had to go right by there. By the time I got done he had already been up there but said he would come back. I told him I had to go to the shop and work he said he was a little ways away from me I would probably be there before he could get to me if I just walked so I told him okay. It is only two miles from where I was to the shop. I walked it from the shot to there and back the last time my truck was down just to get out and clear my head.

I stopped at the store to get a drink and headed to work. I was about 6 blocks from work and my bosses wife seen me and picked me up. She asked if I wanted to go to lunch? I found some money and went with her. I told her I had to come back to the shop when I was done and work. She had to stop at the shop before we went. We pulled up I was messaging my friend and looking down she was on the phone or something so we weren’t talking. All of a sudden she says Starfish is here she is surprised and I could hear worry in her voice. I said what? Who? Huh? I knew she was saying someone was there but it wasn’t clicking who. I was trying to figure out why she was so shocked and worried. I kind of looked up and was still trying to figure out because I couldn’t see them. Then it clicked who she was saying and why she sounded the way she did. She got out I was doing something on my phone so I finished that and got out walked up the side of the truck toward the front. I don’t think he seen me at first then I seen him kind of look and he started going around the side of this limo that they were working on back into the shop. The other guy that works there was calling him trying to tell him something they had been walking together talking about something. He finally stopped the other walked over to him. I just walked past and into the shop to get my keys so I could get something out of my truck. They were there so I walked out to ask where they were. I went to walk around the side of the car I was on but it was to close to things so they had room to work on the side he was on. I walked around the back and over by where he was. My friend was going past him first I slid by him but didn’t say anything. I asked boss for the keys he had to go in and find them. I am not sure where he was when we came by that time but I still never said anything to him. Bosses wife said hi and something to him he kind of smiled they said whatever as she passed joking. Later she said she said hi flower as she went by. Nick name she called him because of something he said before.

We left and went to lunch and she went to drop me off and we seen boss down the street having lunch. She called he said the shop was open but the office was locked that starfish was there, he would be back in a little bit. We went I had to go to the bathroom and she ran in front of me and went. We were yelling stuff back and forth joking around as she was going in there. We have to go around this car to get there it is in the back corner of the shop past the lifts and things. He was laying over there under the car welding something. In a little bit he got up and we were all standing around there talking and joking around until the boss got there.

She was saying I got to go in a little bit he better hurry. I said you can go, I told you, you could just drop me off. I am not going to start no shit and I really don’t think he is going to start anything if I don’t. He really has no reason to because I did nothing to him he the one that left me stuck and screwed. Later he came in the office looking for something it was just as before as if nothing ever happen. He looked a lot better again and probably better than he did when he was here even. He has put on weight and things. She said the boss told her he was thinking about bringing him back but they had talked and he does good for a while and then slides back for a little bit. I said I think if things were going good there and he was somewhere stable he didn’t have to worry about things and away from things he do okay and if he would talk to some of them and let them help him he could do okay as well. I said but I know it don’t take much for him to slide back or much to be said to or about him for him to. I said but he is just trying to get away from it too so it is going to be hard for a little while. But if he got into a good place to stay that it wasn’t around because I know it is at his roommates house where he was staying and he gets away from these so called friends and hangs around some decent people he be okay. I said he just stuck with the ones around the shop there and things once the turn over is done. We have guys leaving and new ones coming. I know the ones coming my good friend I talk about once in a while is going to be the new head guy to run the shop I think they will get a long as long as things are okay and settled between us or I tell him it’s okay. He knows what he did to me when he found out he said why didn’t you tell me I would of taken care of it for you or helped you. I said I know if I couldn’t have gotten it taken care of I would of gotten a hold of you.

I know I should probably be mad but I am to tired and over being mad to even worry about it. I know he was in a bad spot I know he did what he had to do for him. I know what it is like to be in that spot. Not on the drugs but where he was other wise. I know how it is to just need to get out and get out now. I get that way too but I just can’t. What he did was wrong and screwed up and I was pissed. I was very pissed and was even on my way to his job a few weeks ago when things were not going good for me and I was in one of my low spots. But since then I finally forgave. I have worked everything out and think I have things handled. I am going to pay the boss back the money he gave me that starfish gave him for the phone bill even though he said to keep it and he would take it up with him. Because I know he didn’t. If starfish is still there or working here and there I am going to wait until a day he is there and when he is standing right there I am going to hand the money to the boss and tell him this is the money you gave me that was for starfishes phone bill you gave me when he left owing me money. It isn’t yours to worry about and pay so I am paying you back. Maybe one day someone else will make right on the things they did and I will be taken care of or something like that. Just so he knows if he hasn’t said anything before that. He looked shocked and relieved when I didn’t say anything and even more so when me and her came back and we were all joking around and things like nothing ever happen.

He said something to my friend about the girl he was with a few weeks ago when he was up there working on the weekends. He told her she ended up being a pill popper and things. How she was telling him she loved him from the first week and things he got away from her. She said yeah you got to run from that that isn’t any good can’t just jump into things you need be friend build from there. He said yeah but he wanted a piece or something like that. She said yeah but it going to do nothing but get you in trouble. he just said he knew or something like that. His ex picked him up not sure what is going on there because he was trying to get his stuff from her and things when he was staying here and before that. she was telling him to get the cops and come get it. But then she had just been at the office a few weeks before that. Then there today. He told be she was with someone and had been a while. So who knows. I said I don’t care why are you telling me? I said we aren’t together weren’t together. She said I was just telling you he wasn’t with her what happen. Because she got all mad about her being at the shop that day and hanging out and things. She was telling me all about it and hitting the roof.

I really don’t care, we really were just friends, we went out a few times but nothing big that was just mostly as friends too, I mean nothing happen. When he moved in it was just as friends we weren’t together or even talking about being together. He said some things like I said to a few people that made me wonder what the hell he was talking about and things. He said things to me about different things but even that was like confusing like I said before. But I just figured if it turned into something more then okay if it didn’t it didn’t, I wasn’t expecting it to, but you never know when your living in the same house and get to know each other better. I just figured maybe he thought maybe down the road or what.

I can be civil and friendly at work not cause problems or drama. I am not going to cause problems or drama for someone in his spot of trying to do better knowing what he is going through been through knowing what he deals with and things. Because I know how easy he can slide right back. But I know how to get my point across and say what I feel needs said if I need to. But right now I don’t even care and most people should be given a second chance. I don’t have to be best friends with him, I don’t have to talk to him, make sure he is okay or doing okay or help him or do things for him like I did in the past. We go to like we were before at just two employees at the same job who talk and joke around with and like the rest. I do still feel that he needs to man up and at least own up to what he did even if it is as simple as hey sorry for what I did and said. Not just act as if it never happen. Like I said before I’m not going to say anything to him because all I done was help him. If he decides he should then he will. I seen him keep looking at me like he just didn’t know what to think the rest of the day when he was around. I am sure he was still waiting for me to jump his ass, because what everyone does but I’m not going to unless he does something to piss me off again. Then I will but right now its done over.

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